


Mi Pensas, Ke Mi Amas Vin

by Caoten



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Additional Character To Be Added, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Bullying, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Canon-Typical Behavior, Educational, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Esperanto, Humanstuck, M/M, Minor pairings mainly include: john/vriska. john/karkat. rose/kanaya., Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-05-05 18:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14624211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caoten/pseuds/Caoten
Summary: Karkat Vantas: college freshman, human disaster, Esperanto advocate. Karkat has a burning passion, and it is the language Esperanto. In the beginning of his freshman year, he decides to start a club for people interested in learning the language, but saying that his efforts pay off well would be a bit of an exaggeration. But not only is he struggling with his club, but another student keeps following him around the college campus, harassing him, making his life hell. And to be frank, Karkat does not know how much he can take before he snaps.You ever wanted to read an educational fanfic? Well, now's your chance. There will be a few short dialogues in Esperanto, but they will be easy to understand, will not be that important to the story, and I will provide translations in the Notes at the end of each chapter.





	1. Kio Fakte Gravas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One embarrassing thing, and suddenly You're the asshole... Characters are introduced, Karkat's torment begins, and fuck if this boy doesn't have a lot of feelings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: "What Really Matters"
> 
> Oh, me? I'm just combining the two things I love most, Homestuck and Esperanto. Also, note: I'm not fluent in Esperanto so if I've made mistakes please correct me! ...and also if you speak Esperanto I love you and please leave a comment.  
> Hope y'all enjoy this thing!
> 
> (Esperanto translation in the Notes at the end)

CG: MI ESTABLOS KLUBON POR HOMOJ KIU HAVAS INTERESON LERNI NIA LINGVO… ESPERANTO! MI ESPERAS KE MULTAJ DA HOMOJ INTERESEMOS KAJ VENOS AL LA KLUBO. NI STAROS! NI STAROS KIEL KAMARADOJ EN NIA LINGVO! VIVU, MIA AMATA ESPERANTO!

 

“VIVU, MIA AMATA ESPERANTO!”

The cafeteria fell dead silent. Karkat managed to pull himself out of his passion induced trance, and tore his eyes from his laptop screen. Everybody in the campus cafeteria was staring at him, looking like they had all stopped their lunch mid-chew. The ones that did not sit stupefied in their seats snickered and whispered quietly to one another

Karkat quickly lowered his head, trying to hide behind his computer.  _ Fuck. Did I scream that out loud? Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck.  _ It was a problem he had had since he was little, that when he got  _ really  _ excited about something, when he just got so fired up he could barely contain himself, he seemed to lose all control of separating his mind from his mouth. It was a recurring problem. He could feel how his blood was flooding to his face and ears, painting him in an almost candy red hue. God, was it hot in there.

He snapped out of his embarrassment though, when he heard the sound of male voices laughing loudly. He looked up again, and saw that just a few tables away, four students were sitting laughing and throwing glances his way. It was three guys and only one girl, which was probably the reason to why he had not heard a female laugh. Because now that he was aware of her, she was maybe the loudest of the four of them. The girl had long, dark hair, and a pretty scary scar across her left eye. Probably half blind, Karkat noted. The guy sitting to her right looked tall and lanky, maybe East Asian, and was sporting some nerdy bangs and what looked like toned, photochromic sunglasses. The two other guys were almost identical. Blond, freckled, and hiding their faces behind different models of ridiculous sunglasses. Probably brothers.

The one of the two blond probably-brothers that did not have two pounds of hair gel in his hair to keep it in thick spikes going in every impossible angle imaginable was pointing at Karkat and whispering to the others. The girl giggled. He then turned away from his friends and placed himself in the chair so that he was instead facing Karkat.

“Yo, shortstuff!” Karkat tried to ignore the boy, but to no avail. “Yo, shortstuff! Yeah, yeah, you!” the blond with a normal, if somewhat douchey, haircut said when Karkat finally raised his head. “I see you sittin’ on your lonesome there, might not be the best idea to even scream at your imaginary friends, bro!”

Karkat had no idea how to react. Was this bullying? He was pretty sure it was. He could feel a bit of water burning behind his eyelids, but he blinked it away. Why did he have to have so many feelings! He clenched his fist in his pocket.

“Yeah? Well at least I’m not fucking friends with a scarred freak and a bimbo weeb!” he yelled, his voice trembling a bit at the end. 

“Hey! What about me?” the nerdy-looking Asian guy exclaimed.

Karkat ignored him, and instead slammed his laptop shut (he could see how the Asian guy with the weird sunglasses shuddered in his seat) and got onto his feet.

“Hey, dude! Not cool!” he heard the douchebag in the pilot sunglasses yell after him, but he did not care. He just continued down through the cafeteria hall, putting up his middle finger behind him as he exited through the white, standard school double-doors, which slammed shut hard behind him.

He sped up on his steps, soon almost power-walking down the hallways in a stiff, anger-fueled manner.  _ God,  _ he hated people like that guy. Fucking blond-ass motherfucking asshole!

Busy with his own thoughts of how he could kill off that twat in the most violent, gruesome ways possible, he did not watch where he was going. He just barely avoided slamming face first into the glass school building door, but instead managed to swerve enough to just scrape his shoulder and get a killing bruise on his upper arm. He could feel the tears building up again, and decided to just run for it, look for the closest bathroom, and just let nature have its ways. And by ‘letting nature have its ways’, he meant crying by himself curled up on the toilet seat in a well-locked bathroom stall.

Reaching the first men’s bathroom he could find, he hurled himself into the room, scaring away a guy with wild, unruly hair and ridiculously wide, purple trousers with his tear streaked face. He quickly checked under all the stalls, content with the absence of feet, and then collapsed into the one located in the furthest corner.

He curled up on the closed toilet lid like a wounded animal and sniffled through quiet sobs. Fuck, he hated being an angry cryer. Not that this was an instance of anger alone. Like a bomb, his mind exploded with hundreds of loud thoughts:  _ Why can’t I ever seem to handle situations right? Why can I never handle my anger? Why did I just storm off like that? Way to go making yourself look like a total asshole in front of the entire fucking school, idiot! It’s no wonder I don’t have any friends. Or, well, not many. No one to eat with, at the very least. Not that I will have any friends at all left if I keep acting like this. I’m so fucking stupid. So fucking STUPID!!! I fucking hate myself, I- _

His self-loathing thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening, and he stifled his sobbing hyperventilating with the hem of his sweater sleeve.

The person, whoever it was, opened and closed the door two stalls down, and began to take a leak. A long one. Karkat shuddered as he was forced to sit in silence and listen to the gross sound go on forever and ever, and he could almost taste the smell in his mouth. Once that thought had gotten into his head, it was impossible to think of anything else, and he just sat and tried to keep quiet as he sat locked in a bathroom, with reddened, puffy eyes and a damp face, listening to another dude urinate.

God, this day sucked.

Soon the unknown person went out again, without washing his hands, Karkat noted, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable touching anything in the bathroom. But he did not want to leave either, not yet. First of all, his eyes would have to recover ferom his violent burst of crying, but foremost, he was not sure if he would be able to handle seeing anyone who had been sitting in that cafeteria, especially if they were to mention it, or God forbid, make fun of him.

Karkat sighed, and solemnly brought out his phone.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] **began trolling grimAuxiliatrix** **[GA]** **at 12:24 --**

 

CG: KANAYA.

CG: HEY MARYAM.

CG: PLEASE ANSWER IM REALLY UPSET.

CG: NEVERMIND IT WAS NOTHING.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] **ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix** **[GA]** **at 12:25 --**

 

He sighed and put his phone down between his legs, suddenly feeling exhausted. He sat there for a while, just hugging his own knees and resting against the toilet backrest. As he sat there, replaying the scene that he had gotten himself involved in just a bit over half an hour earlier over and over in his head, he realised something. Kanaya was not his only friend. Well, maybe his only close friends in real life that he still kept in touch with, but he had other friends. His  _ kamaradoj _ .

He flipped open his phone again and logged onto a memo

 

aetherialArmageddon **[AA]** **46,672 HOURS AGO opened memo on board ESPERANTAJ RETAMIKOJ.**

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] **RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

CG: SALUTON MIAJ AMIKOJ… MI PENSAS KE MI BEZONAS IOM DA HELPO EL VI.

alechemicalGavotte [AG] **RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

AG: Abbsolute ! Kio estas via pprobblemo ?

CG: DO… MI VOLAS ESTABLI KLUBON POR ESPERANTISTOJ, SED LA ALIAJ STUDENTOJ EN MIA UNIVERSITATO MOKIS MIN KAJ… MI NE SCIAS…

AG: Ho ! Mi vere bbedaŭras ! Tio **sonas kiel estas grandega pprobblemo kiu vi havas CG .**

aetherialArmageddon **[AA]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

AA: sAluton CG kAra. mi bedA **ŭrAs AnkAŭ. kelkfoje ne estAs fAcilA esti esperAntisto. sed tio estAs kiAl ni hAvAs ĉi-tiun retbAbilAn grupon. estu fortA, CG!** **ĝi** **estos pli bonA bAldAŭ. mi promesAs.**

CG: DANKON AA. VI **ĈIAM ESTAS TRE SUBTENEMA. MI SENTAS PLI ETE BONA JAM.**

AA: **ĝi** **ne estis problemo. mi nur volAs helpi vin junAjn esperAntistojn.**

CG: KAJ DANKON AG ANKAŬ.

AG: MDR nenium pprobblemon !

 

He closed down the Trollian app and put his phone backninto the pocket of his trousers. He sighed, and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly, feeling somewhat stiff moving his salty face. He always felt so much better after talking to his fellow Esperantists. They rarely even provided useful advice at all, especially since few of the memo board members were completely fluent, but he always just felt so  _ involved _ and  _ heard _ . Also, piecing the language’s sentences together, well, it was therapeutic in a way.

At last, he got up from his seat, straightened his back, and decided to try and head back out from his temporary sanctuary. He had been right, even though screaming it out in the middle of a packed cafeteria might not have been the best way to express it, Esperanto  _ would  _ live. He would make sure of it. He had only studied it for about a year, since he decided to apply to be an anthropology major, but he had already fallen fully, and deeply in love with the language. It might have been his tendency to strong feelings getting the best of him again, but he did not care. He loved the language and what it stood for, and he would fight his ass off if needed to make sure everyone at this godforsaken campus knew about it too.

 

“Hey! Hey, you there! I’m gonna blow your fucking mind, liste- okay, well, what about you then! You look like the kind of person who cares abou- that’s fine, you can come back later, of course.”

Two hours. For two hours he had been shouting at and ambushing unsuspecting students all over the school facilities. And only  _ one  _ person had stopped to listen to what he had to say. And they had not even stuck around, but only taken his self-designed and self-printed leaflet out of politeness, or maybe pity, and scurried off as soon as he had really gotten into his ecstatic preaching.

He was starting to feel really bummed out about the whole ordeal. 

Karkat sighed. He was not sure this was going to work. He had been so convinced, he had felt so confident in his cause and his ability to convince people of the beauty of the language, the beautiful world they could all live in together one day.

He had already begun to pack away his supplies, stacked his leaflets into a messy pile of paper and folded together his floor sign with the words “LEARN ESPERANTO - FOR A BETTER WORLD” and in a smaller font further down “Lernu Esperanton - Por Pli Bona Mondo”, when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He froze, and slowly, slowly, not wanting to get his hopes up, turned around to see if his wishes had finally come true.

“Excuse me,” the tall, black-haired boy standing in front of him said, a nervous smile on his lips, “So, uhm, I heard rumours there was something happening in this wing and I got curious.”

Karkat just stared at him, suddenly, for once in his life, at a loss of words. The tall boy, much, much taller than him, reached up and adjusted his square, ridiculously thick glasses, and licked his lips, seeming to get a bit uncomfortable in the long silence.

At last, Karkat was able to break free from his stupidification, and scrambled around in his head to find the right words, and successfully piece them together.

“Do you want to live in a fucking paradise?”

_ What the fuck, idiot. _

The boy’s mouth opened slightly, and then slowly closed again. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his blue hoodie, and rocked a bit on his feet. “...Yes?”

“I mean,” Karkat spluttered out. “I’m starting a club, a group that is, to make friends in Esperanto.”

The boy looked at him puzzly. “Esperanto?”

_ Oh. _ “Well,” he began. “It’s a constructed language, made to be easy as hell to learn and to diminish racism and conflict, you know, create a society where everyone can understand each other with ease, with a common knowledge with no political, national, or religious connections.” He was surprised at how gently he explained the concept, in comparison to his usual, aggressively passionate rants. There was just something in the innocence and lack of basic knowledge of the boy’s inquiry that brought up Karkat’s motherly sense, a sense he did not even know he had, to the surface. 

“Oh! Well that sounds cool actually!” the boy exclaimed, with something childishly gleeful lighting up his eyes. “I’ve actually, always, kind of… Well, I’ve always figured humanity is good at its core!” Suddenly his cheeks were hued to a lightly pinkish tone, as he stuttered out another sentence: “Or, uh, I mean… That sounds pretty naïve and dumb, doesn’t it?” He laughed.

“No, not at all! Don’t be stupid,” Karkat hastily exclaimed, immediately regretting calling a stranger he was trying to recruit stupid. “I mean, that is pretty much the gist of the Esperantists’ belie, to begin with! Don’t worry, you will fit right in.” He hesitated, before deciding that fuck it, he was doing this. “You will learn all about it on Thursday, 7PM, just outside the C building.”

The boy looked stunned for a second, but then pulled his lips into an uncertain smile. “I guess… Okay. Well, sure, then! Heck it, I’ll come! I need to meet some new friends anyway. Maybe I could bring my roommate along?”

Karkat contemplated telling this guy that it would probably just be a date between him and himself for a hot second, but then pushed that urge aside. “Oh, fuck yeah you should bring your friends. We can’t make a fucking paradise with just two people, now can we, you fucking dumbass!” He had done it again. _ Dammit. _

The boy looked at him for a stunned moment, but then thankfully seemed to decide to ignore the insulting remark. “Well, let’s say so then!” he instead said, accepting the leaflet Karkat handed to him. “Oh! By the way! I’m John. You’re a freshman, too?”

Karkat felt his cheeks flush, unsure why. “Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I’m a freshman, pretty knew here too…” He trailed off, before remembering that the boy he now knew to be called John had implied two questions. “And I’m Karkat.”

“Karkat…” John mumbled, before straightening up again, his face springing up in a warm, wide smile. “Well, see you Thursday, then!”

Karkat watched as the John boy walked off, his bag swinging as he skipped down the hallways, clutching Karkat’s leaflet in his left hand. What a carefree guy. Karkat hoped he would come, he really did. With his luck so far, he kind of doubted it though. But the little hope John had awoken in him made him unfold the floor sign again, and he straightened his back, preparing to continue to try to hand out his club advertisements.

He had only had time to bother a few more people before he heard an obnoxious whistling from behind. Then an all too familiar voice emerged:

“Well, if it ain’t Shortstuff Mcfuckmouth,” the blond from the cafeteria called out to him, making his way over, standing just a bit too close for Karkat’s comfort.

Karkat suppressed the urge to run back to the bathroom, and instead puffed out his chest “Har har, what a clever fucking name! You must be a goddamn genius to come up with that one, you bitch-ass jerk!”

The guy gave him an unapologetic smile. “You’re right, not one of my best.” He then jumped forward and swiftly yanked the stack of leaflets out of Karkat’s hands.

“Hey!” Karkat exclaimed, feeling the anger starting to build up inside him. “Give those back!”

The guy ignored him, and put up a hand in front of him to keep the furious Karkat at arm's length. “So what do we have here?” He flipped through the papers, evidently not reading any of them since he did not seem to notice that they all said the same exact thing. Suddenly he made exaggeratedly big eyes and whistled lowly, showing the paper to Karkat.

“Says here you’re a loser.”

“Go to hell,” Karkat grumbled, ripping back the leaflets from the boy’s hand. The blond just laughed and ruffled Karkat’s hair as he continued down the hallway - though he might not have gotten that far if it had not been for Karkat’s therapy-induced self control and temperament management. “See you at lunch!” the boy called over his shoulder, walking off, holding up his middle finger in mocking imitation of Karkat’s previous move as he turned the corner.

Who the fuck even was that guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's first monologue:  
> CG: IM GOING TO START A CLUB FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE AN INTEREST IN LEARNING OUR LANGUAGE... ESPERANTO! I HOPE THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL BE INTERESTED AND COME TO THE CLUB. WE STAND! WE STAND AS COMRADES IN OUR LANGUAGE! LIVE MY BELOVED ESPERANTO!
> 
> Karkat pesters Esperanto memo board group:  
> aetherialArmageddon [AA] 46,672 HOURS AGO opened memo on board ESPERANTAJ RETAMIKOJ.  
> CG: HELLO MY FRIENDS... I THINK THAT I NEED SOME HELP FROM YOU.  
> alechemicalGavotte [AG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
> AG: Abbsolutely ! What is your pprobblem?  
> CG: SO... I WANT TO START A CLUB FOR ESPERANTISTS, BUT THE OTHER STUDENTSIN MY UNIVERSITY MAKE FUN OF ME AND... I DONT KNOW...  
> AG: Oh! I'm really sorry ! That sounds like a huge problem that you have CG .  
> aetherialArmageddon [AA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
> AA: hello CG deAr. i Am Also sorry. sometimes it is not eAsy being an esperAntist. but thAt is why we hAve this online chAt group. be strong CG! it will be better soon. i promise.  
> CG: THANK YOU AA. YOU ARE ALWAYS VERY SUPPORTIVE. I FEEL A LITTLE BETTER ALREADY.  
> AA: it is not a problem. i just wAnt to help you young esperAntists.  
> CG: AND THANK YOU AG TOO.  
> AG: LOL no pprobblem !
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. La Amikego Fidata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya finally responds to Karkat's Pesterchum messages. Which he needs, a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: "The Trusted Best Friend"

carcinoGeneticist [CG] **began trolling** **grimAuxiliatrix** **[GA]** **at 12:24 --**

 

CG: KANAYA.

CG: HEY MARYAM.

CG: PLEASE ANSWER IM REALLY UPSET.

CG: NEVERMIND IT WAS NOTHING.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] **ceased trolling** **grimAuxiliatrix** **[GA]** **at 12:25 --**

grimAuxiliatrix **[GA]** **began trolling** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 17:56 --**

 

GA: I Apologize For My Absence Karkat I Hope That I Was Not Cause Of Additional Distress On Your Behalf

GA: My Friend Rose And I Were Out Together At One Of The Local Combined Ice Cream Bar And Diners

CG: FRIENDS YOU SAY?

CG: PLEASE KANAYA STAY REAL WITH ME.

CG: AND YES YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY IM OKAY NOW.

CG: THERE WAS JUST THIS FUCKING DOUCHEBAG ASSWIPE OF A FUCKHEAD IN THE CAFETERIA MAKING FUN OF ME.

GA: What Did He Say And Where Is He Now

GA: Assuming That Your Tormentor Was In Fact A He

CG: IN FACT HE WAS.

CG: BUT THATS BESIDE THE GODDAMN POINT KANAYA.

CG: AND DONT YOU FUCKING DARE GO AFTER HIM.

GA: I Apologize For Interrupting

GA: Please Do Continue

CG: THANK YOU.

CG: SO I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY DOOMED MYSELF TO ETERNAL EMBARRASSMENT IN THE FIELD OF ACADEMIA. WHICH IS FINE I GUESS. BUT THEN HE SAID I HAVE NO FRIENDS WHICH IS AS YOU KNOW A BIT OF A SORE SUBJECT AND HE KEEPS SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE!

CG: OH MY GOD.

CG: DO YOU THINK HE IS STALKING ME???

GA: That Would Surprise Me

CG: I GUESS.

CG: IN OTHER NEWS IM TIRED TO HELL AND BACK OF THE DUDE SO LETS STOP FUCKING TALK ABOUT HIM OKAY.

GA: If That Is What You Want

CG: IT SURE AS FUCK IS.

GA: Well Is There Something Else On Your Mind Then

CG: NO.

CG: OR I GUESS THERE IS?

CG: I FELT PRETTY BAD TODAY. IF I HAVE TO BE HONEST, I FELT REALLY FUCKING DESPAIRING. DO YOU REMEMBER THE CLUB I WANTED TO START.

GA: The Esperanto One Yes I Remember

CG: WELL NO ONE REALLY WANTED TO JOIN AND IT WILL BE FUCKING EMBARRASSING IF ITS JUST ME AND LIKE ONE OTHER GUY.

CG: LIKE

CG: HI JOHN. OH YES, DID I FORGET TO MENTION? IM A FUCKING LOSER WITHOUT ANY FRIENDS AND YOU SHOULD REALLY JUST HEAD HOME NOW BEFORE MY PATHETIC EXISTENCE GIVES YOU CHRONIC DEPRESSION.

GA: Dont Sell Yourself So Short Karkat

GA: I Will Attend

CG: YOU WILL?

GA: Yes Of  Course Karkat That Is What Friends Are For

GA: I Even Have To Admit To Feeling Quite Curious On The Matter As It Is

CG: YOU ARE?

GA: Yes I Look Forward To The First Meeting

CG: YOU DO?

GA: Yes

CG: THANK YOU KANAYA.

GA: Dont Mention It

CG: <3

GA: I Love You Too Karkat

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] **ceased trolling** **grimAuxiliatrix** **[GA]** **at 18:27 --**

grimAuxiliatrix **[GA]** **ceased trolling** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **]** **at 18:27 --**


	3. La Klubenaj Kunvenoj

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally time for some knowledge! The meetings begin, and the weeks go by. But John brings some things to the table that Karkat had not been counting on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: "The Club Meetings"
> 
> If you have stuck with me this far, I love you and thank you so much.

6:58PM.

So far no one had arrived, and it was wiring up Karkat’s nerves like crazy. Maybe no one would come. In a way he found that thought comforting. Then there would be no way to publicly embarrass himself, leading to a massive bullying and harassment spree. On the other hand he was not sure how he would cope with being faced with the cold, hard fact that he really was incapable of doing anything right.

6:59PM.

He exhaled, feeling suddenly at ease. It was fine. Really, it was. Had he even expected more? Maybe this was a sign, God trying to save him from himself. Gratitude flooded his systems, and it almost became unbearable to keep his tears in check. Was there not a piece of mythology about people crying when getting touched by God? He did not like the sound of that, but he kind of got it.

7Pm.

Dammit all to hell. This fucking sucked. Not even Kanaya had come, and he was not sure how he felt about that. Maybe she did not even like him. Frustrated, he swang his backpack over his shoulder and strapped up to leave. Maybe go home to his small apartment alone, forget to eat, and then fall asleep in front of  _ Love Me If You Dare _ . Yep, that sounded about right.

He felt a light tap on his shoulder.

He turned around, and there he was again. John. Karkat almost started to cry from thankfulness. The boy was smiling at him, a big, white, sheepish grin, curled lips, brown skin that almost glowed and radiated warmth, and an unruly, completely hopeless mess of a hair. Karkat exhaled, a soft, dreamy smile on his face. But as soon he noticed that Kanaya was standing right behind the boy, he immediately sorted himself out and coughed, embarrassed.

“So what are we gonna do tonight?” John asked, swinging his arms by his sides. “Oh! Are there any movies in Esperanto? That would be so cool…”

There really wasn’t.

“You will just have to wait and see,” Karkat answered,quickly  ushering the two inside, not daring to give them a chance to escape. John skipped a bit in his step as he entered the building door, seeming both a little nervous and a little excited. Kanaya passed Karkat and put a greeting hand on his shoulder.

“Saluton.”

Karkat felt his mouth fall open. “ _ Kanaya _ ?” he whispered.

She just threw him a sly eye, and followed the taller, more excited boy inside. Karkat quickly followed.

 

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Karkat said as they stepped in through the door to his small one-room apartment. “It’s really fucking small and kind of trashy, but it’s what we have so don’t fucking judge, okay.”

The other two did not answer but walked in through the door, awkwardly waiting for instructions. Kanaya was just standing, comfortable in the familiar environment, and John was looking around at everything he could get a glimpse of from the cramped hallway, stretching his neck to inhuman lengths.

“Don’t fucking pull a muscle in my doorway, John.”

John immediately retrieved his head and looked embarrassed at Karkat. “I wasn’t, uhm… Anyway, what are we doing, Kar?”

Karkat puffed up his cheeks and put his hands on his hips, intaking a disgruntled pose. “First of all, don’t fucking call me Kar. I hate nicknames. Second of all,” he continued, leading the way into the room where he kept his pullout sofa and kitchen table, “I’m gonna educate you ignorant imbeciles.”

Kanaya shot him a look, and he immediately corrected himself. “-Or I mean, we will just start with the basics.”

They all sat down at the table, or rather, John and Kanaya sat down at the only two kitchen chairs Karkat owned, and Karkat himself hopped up onto his kitchen countertop. He was incredibly small for being in college, both skinny and short. He had always been one of those kids that throughout their entire lives had gotten letters home from the school nurse about ways to improve their diet and recommendations for growth hormones on the market.

“Okay, listen up! This is a club for-” Karkat began, realising how pathetic it sounded to call three people a club. “Well, it’s a group for lovers and speakers of the Esperanto language, and people who share us Esperantists’ views and ideals!”

He looked to Kanaya, who nodded a single, subtle nod in encouragement. He continued:

“As we all know, Esperanto is a conlang, that is, a constructed language for all of you who have never read a book, and it was created by some Polish guy named Zamenhof in the 1850’s. He made the language because it fucking sucked to be a young Jew in the nineteenth century, and he hoped to one day live in a world of peace and community where everyone could understand each other. That is what ‘Esperanto’ means, by the way, ‘one who hopes’, so you can take that with you even if you don’t remember jack shit from this evening.’ He briefly paused his rant to quickly suck in a shallow breath of air before continuing. “Anyway, Zamenhof designed it to be so fucking easy any idiot could understand it, with a little bit of studying which is what we are going to focus on here every week.”

“Every week?” Kanaya asked.

Karkat glared at her. “Yes, Kanaya, every week. Is there a problem? There’s only one way to learn a fucking language and it’s to never let your eyes off the goal.” He continued:

“As I was saying. The Esperanto idea is a language that transcends borders, religion, and history. That means no racism, no sexism, no homophobia…” He trailed off, shooting a glance at the two sitting at the table. “Uh… Yes, that’s right. But I don’t want a pile of fucking narcoleptics in my apartment so I’m gonna fucking stop rambling and just get to the goddamn point which is-” he sucked in some more air, “to learn to fucking speak Esperanto.” He looked around at the ‘club’. “Questions?”

No one said anything, but they both seemed to listen attentively. Especially John. Karkat did not know what exactly was up with the kid, but he just seemed to be oozing with enthusiasm and joy. The energy was immense and he could almost feel his own spirits lifting from just being in the same room as him.

“John, have you understood?” he asked suddenly, not sure what had urged him to do so.

The boy startled. “Y-yes…?” he answered uncertainly. “It sounds great, Karkat.”

Karkat felt his face grow hot, and desperately tried to calm down whatever it was that was making his blood rush. He cleared his throat awkwardly, and then smiled.

“Good. Then let’s begin.”

 

“Saluto, Kanaya. Mi estas  Ĝon. Mi estas dek ok jaros maljuna.”

“No, no, no!” Karkat interrupted. He looked at the boy sitting in front of him, horribly failing to even introduce himself to Kanaya, who by the way had made amazing progress since the past week. “This is so fucking easy, John, how can you not understand this? We’re not speaking goddamn Esperanglish here!” He put his hands on his hips and puffed out a discontent huff of air. “Kanaya. Show him how it’s done.”

Kanaya gave Karkat a brief taste of the evil eye, but then straightened her back and looked at John, something apologetic in her eyes. “Saluton, Ĝon. Mia nomo estas Kanaja. Mi aĝas dek na ŭ jaroj kaj-”

“Jarojn.”

“...Jarojn. Kaj kiu estas vi?”

“Good. That was good, Kanaya, good job,” Karkat congratulated, but then felt bad for John, who really had no obligation to be there in the first place. “You too, John. You have at least improved a bit.”

Karkat had noticed that John did not really seem to take his outbursts of frustration and criticism negatively, but usually just grinned or laughed, showing off his perfectly white teeth and wrinkled eyes in response. He did perk up at Karkat’s remark, though.

“Thanks, Karkat!”

“Don’t mention it,” Karkat grumbled, his ears growing hot.

They continued to do different exercises for about an hour more, until the sun was slowly starting to set and the ‘students’’ ability to concentrate and perform had been lowered immensely. Karkat had just finished explaining the ‘-ega’ and ‘-eta’ suffixes when the clock struck nine and erupted nine long tones. It was a big pendulum clock that Karkat had received from his dad when he moved out. Apparently it was supposed to symbolise maturing into adulthood or something equally dumb, but now all it did was hang on his kitchen wall and collect dust.

Karkat groaned. “We are not getting anywhere, are we? John, what is it that is so fucking hard to understand about it? It’s simple, and it’s a great aide-memoire! It’s simply biological for humans that ‘g’ sounds bigger that ‘t’. It’s basic onomatopoeia for fucks’ sake! If you don’t fucking grasp this soon, you goddamn imbecile, I will do you a favour and improve your cognitive abilities by fucking beating your brains out with this fucking dictionary and then my own just to put myself out of this misery, I swear to God so help me!”

It was not Karkat’s first outburst for the night, and he felt like he was oozing with frustration and pent-up anger as he huffed, face flushed and fists clenched on the table. But when he looked up, he saw that John was smiling.

“What the fuck are you smiling for?” he spat.

“It’s nothing,” John answered, leaning back into his chair and put his arms behind his head. “It’s just that you remind me of Dave.”

“And who the fuck is Dave?”

“Oh, just my roommate. And my best friend, too. He goes off on a lot of tangents as well, it’s a bit endearing, honestly. You two could probably talk for hours and hours!” he laughed.

_ I remind him of his best friend. _

“Why don’t you fucking bring him here then so you contribute at least _ something _ ?”

_ He thinks it’s a bit endearing, honestly. _

John made big eyes. “Oh, but I have! I have tried, but he never comes!”

“What the fuck else is he doing the-”

“Boys, please calm down. You are going to disturb the neighbours.” Kanaya put a soothing hand on Karkat’s arm. Her cool skin always seemed to put him at ease, as if her chilly skin somehow cancelled out his furiously hot blood. 

Karkat grumbled a string of intangible curses and angrily flopped the dictionary that he had been holding up as a weapon onto the kitchen table.

“Maybe we should call it a day?” Kanaya suggested,smoothing out her long skirt as she raised from her chair. “I feel like I have learned a lot. Don’t you, John?”

John startled at being called, but then hurriedly answered: “Oh, yes, yes, absolutely!” He beamed at Karkat, which made Karkat feel like the floor under his chair had suddenly disappeared. “But I’m really starting to get tired! You’ve just been riding us so hard, Karkat!” He laughed.

Karkat did not. He felt petrified.

John  _ fucking  _ Egbert…

How the hell did this happen?

 

The following weeks were a very confusing time for Karkat. He kept going to classes, sometimes running into John in the hallways (which always made his blood rush to his head, leading to him hurriedly running away with his face turned down almost sniffing the ground to avoid meeting John’s eyes for too long), keeping up with his normal eat-romcom-sleep-repeat schedule, and of course, teaching John and Kanaya the language he loved.

But he also kept running into that douchebag, which he did not love. He hated him, and the guy kept making his life hell. Not directly, but he noticed how he was always subconsciously keeping an eye out for him in the corridors, sometimes taking extreme roundabout ways to class to avoid him.

_ Hey! Shortstuff! Wait for me, no, come on, how can you even be this fast on those stubby legs? Yo, up top! Man, don’t leave a dude hangin’, this might be your only shot at physical human contact ever! Oh, don’t be like that… Trynna do you a favour here, pal! _

Karkat was just happy they did not have any classes together.

During his Esperanto lectures, they were becoming more and more casual. Both John and Kanaya were starting to be able to hold simple conversations with each other, John’s pronunciation was finally intelligible, and they only had a few more affixes to go through. Mostly, they were just talking to each other, Karkat correcting them on simple mistakes once in a while.

For Karkat, however, the actual language lectures themselves were not the most interesting thing about the Thursdays they spent together. It was John. He often found himself just staring at him, and it was not too uncommon that Kanaya had to call his names multiple times before he answered her questions. He had had a lot of crushes before, he was of a very romantic-prone nature, but his crushes had never smiled back at him or touched his shoulder and arms to get his attention before.

And he was not entirely sure what he was supposed to do about his feelings.

Then, one Thursday evening, it happened.

Karkat was in his apartment as usual, rummaging through his kitchen cupboards for some juice and biscuits for his guests, before John and Kanaya were too arrive. John had texted him a bit earlier in the day, telling him that he had a surprise for the night. He had ended his message with a little winky face, which for some reason had made Karkat’s stomach do flips. It was ridiculous.

John and Kanaya had started letting themselves in, even though Karkat was not actually supposed to give the apartment building’s door entry code to ‘strangers’, but he did not think it mattered much in this case. It was not like anyone was going to tell the landlord, and John and Kanaya would definitely not break into a neighbour’s flat.

When Karkat heard the knock on the door he quickly ruffled his hair, trying to put some volume into it, and went to let his friends in. He caught himself holding his breath in anticipation. He had not seen John since the Thursday before.

“Hey, shortstuff.”

_ What the fuck. _

“What in the ever-loving, godforsaken, shitstain of a fuck are  _ you _ doing here?”

John stepped in through the door, pushing Karkat’s asshole stalker, tormentor, and bully aside as he stepped in. “Oh, Karkat. This is Dave.” He put a hand on the blond’s upper arm. “My roommate, that is. He finally agreed to come!”

Dave smirked down at Karkat, and he could just  _ sense _ the mischievous glint in the eyes hidden behind his shades.

“ _ This _ is  _ Dave _ ?”

“In the flesh,” Dave said and reached out his hand to Karkat. “Strider.”

_ Oh hell no. _ Karkat knew he was just fucking with him. He had been fucking with him since day one, and nothing was going to change that he fucking  _ despised _ this guy. Reluctant, he took Dave’s hand and shook it, not wanting to lose his composure in front of John.

“Wait, do you two know each other already?” John asked, seeming a bit nervous. He had probably picked up on the tense atmosphere that had filled the room as soon as the apartment door had opened. “Should I not have brought him?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” Dave assured, his voice dripping with malice. Karkat could swear on it. “We’re old friends from school. We’ve had lunch and walked to class together a few times. A bit cheesy really.” He pinched Karkat’s cheek.

_ More like he and his friends have been laughing and throwing peas at me in the cafeteria and he has harassed me in the hallways. _ Karkat was seething with anger, frustration, but he could not help but to also feel just a little bit betrayed. He had thought that John was his  _ friend _ , and now it turned out that he was  _ best friends _ with his  _ bully _ , who he had now dragged with him to Karkat’s apartment? _ Good God, my stalker knows where I live. _ Karkat had a bad feeling he would never see the end of this  _ Dave _ guy. His emotional turmoil was starting to get the better of him, and he clenched his fists.

“Oh! Nice! I’m so happy you two are already friends!” John exclaimed, clasping his cheeks in his hands. “Then it won’t be so tense in the beginning here. We’re already so good friends, I can’t  _ wait  _ for Kanaya to come!”

John was right. Kanaya could not arrive fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and John introducing themselves as a speaking exercise:  
> John: "Hello, Kaneya. I am John. I have eighteen yearoj youngster"
> 
> Kanaya: "Hello , John. My name is Kanaya. I am nineteen year old and-"  
> Karkat: "Years."  
> Kanaya: "...Years. And who are you?"


	4. Ĉu Mi Devus Forigi Lin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat might have reached his breaking point, and as the calm, collected, young man he is, he seeks advice and support from his online friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: "Should I Get Rid of Him?"
> 
> This chapter is just a Pesterlog, which is completely in Esperanto. I realised that just won't do, so the Pesterlog is written twice, first in Esperanto, then a separating line follows, and then the entire Pesterlog can be read again, but in English (yay, the translation isn't in the end Notes this time!).  
> Also, another side note: The trolls are not canon trolls, even though they use Feferi's, Nepeta's, and Equius' quirk colours, so don't get confused. It's just that AO3 doesn't allow 100% control over the Homestuck skin, so I can't give them non-canon colours! I hope the off quirks and names help with that, haha...

**aetherialArmageddon** **[AA]** **47,916 HOURS AGO opened memo on board ESPERANTAJ RETAMIKOJ.**

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CG: ĈU IU AJN MEMORAS LA KLUBON KE MI ESTABLIS? MI VOLAS DIRI LA ESPERANTAN KLUBON KE MI ESTABLIS POR LA STUDENTOJ EN MIA KOLEGIO.**

**aetherialArmageddon** **[AA]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo**

**AA: jes, mi memorAs. kAj mi tre scivolAs pri kiel tiu klubo rezultis.** **ĉu via klubo bone rezultis?**

**CG: NE.**

**CG: AŬ… LA KLUBO BONE REZULTIS, MI SUPOZAS. DU STUDENTOJ, MI AMIKINO KAJ ALIA KNABO, ESTIS ULADOJ POR DO SEMAJNOJ NUN.**

**AA: BonegA! mi feli** **ĉAs Al vi.**

**CG: DANKON.**

**CG: SED, ESTAS UNU PROBLEMO...**

**AA: jes...?**

**CG: ESTAS ULO KIU SEKVAS MIN.**

**CG: AŬ, LI FAKTE GVATAS MIN…**

**AA: ho.**

**CG: KAJ VERE ĈI-TIU KNABO ESTAS ULAĈO, MI PENSAS…**

**alechemicalGavotte [AG]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo**

**AG: MDR .**

**AA: dAnkon, AG…**

**AA: kiAl estAs** **ĉi-tiu ulo ulAĉo, CG? nun tiAl li sekvAs vin?**

**CG: LI TRAKTAĈAS MIN!**

**AA: mi kondolencas, CG. tio soni a** **ĉ** **a, vere.**

**CG: ĜI ESTAS!**

**CG: DE ĈIUJ MANIEROJ**

**CG: LI SEKVAS MIN, LI TURMENTAS MIN, LI NOMAS MIN PUTRAJ NOMOJ.**

**CG: LI TERURAS!**

**tachytelicTabacosis [TT]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo**

**TT: forigu lin.**

**AA:** **ĉ** **u vi vere pensas tio estas necesa, TT?**

**AA: kaj sAluton, amiko tAbAcosis!**

**TT: dankon por la saluto. AA.**

**TT: kaj jes. mi pensas forigi tiun knaba** **ĉon estas la sola akto bonfari.**

**TT: li estas veneno.**

**CG: VENENO?**

**TT: jes. veneno. forigu lin. a** **ŭ mi devos trovi lin. kaj tiam MI devos forigi lin. en mia propra vojo.**

**TT: turmentuloj kiel li ne meritas nenion. krom morton.**

**CG: MORTON!? KIO VI FEKE PENSAS, TT? VI NE POVAS MORTIGI LIN!**

**AG: sankta fikfeko , TT !**

**AA: gi nur ser** **ĉ** **As. verA, TT?**

**TT: …**

**TT: jes.**

**TT: mdr.**

**CG: O KEJ…**

**CG: DO…**

**CG: DANKON POR LA BONAJ KONSILOJ,** **ĈIUJ! KAJ POR FEKEJ TIMAJ KAJ STRANGAJ KONSILOJ ANKAŬ, MI SUPOZAS…**

**TT: nenium problemon. kk.**

**CG: KIU FEKE ESTAS VI.**

**CG: ADIAŬ, ĈIUJ.**

**CG: FIKFEK!**

**AA: TT. mi petAs, ne timigu la infAnojn.**

**TT: mdr.**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **aetherialArmageddon** **[AA]** **47,916 HOURS AGO opened memo on board ESPERANTAJ RETAMIKOJ.**

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CG: DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THE CLUB I STARTED? I MEAN THE ESPERANTO CLUB THAT I STARTED FOR THE STUDENTS AT MY UNIVERSITY.**

**aetherialArmageddon** **[AA]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo**

**AA: yes, i remember. And i wAnt to know how it turned out. did it turn out good?**

**CG: NO**

**CG: OR… THE CLUB TURNED OUT GOOD, I GUESS. TWO STUDENTS, MY FRIEND AND ANOTHER BOY, ARE MEMBERS SINCE SOME WEEKS NOW.**

**AA: greAt! i Am hAppy for you.**

**CG: THANKS.**

**CG: BUT, THERE IS ONE PROBLEM..**

**AA: yes…?**

**CG: THERE IS A GUY WHO IS FOLLOWING ME.**

**CG: OR, HE IS STALKING ME, ACTUALLY.**

**AA: oh.**

**CG: AND TRUTHFULLY I THINK THIS BOY IS A BASTARD.**

**alechemicalGavotte [AG]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo**

**AG: LOL.**

**AA: thAnk you, AG…**

**AA: why is this guy A bAstArd, CG? is it just becAuse he is following you?**

**CG: HE IS BULLYING ME.**

**AA: i Am sorry, CG. thAt sounds Awful, truly.**

**CG: IT IS!** **  
** **CG: ANYWAY**

**CG: HE FOLLOWS ME, HE HARASSES ME, HE CALLS ME MEAN NAMES.**

**CG: HE IS HORRIBLE!**

**tachytelicTabacosis [TT]** **RIGHT NOW responded to memo**

**TT: get rid of him.**

**AA: do you reAlly think thAt is necessAry, TT?**

**AA: And hello, friend tAbAcosis!**

**TT: thank you for the greeting. AA.**

**TT: and yes. i think getting rid of him is the only action good to take.**

**TT: he is poison.**

**CG: POISON?**

**TT: yes. poison. get rid of him. or i will find him. and then I will get rid of him in my own way.**

**TT: bullies like him deserve nothing. except death.**

**CG: DEATH? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, TT? YOU CANNOT KILL HIM!**

**AG: holy shit , TT .**

**AA: they Are just joking. right, TT?**

**TT: …**

**TT: yes.**

**TT: lol.**

**CG: OKAY…**

**CG: SO…**

**CG: THANKS FOR THE GOOD ADVICE, EVERYONE! AND FOR THE FUCKING SCARY AND WEIRD ADVICE TOO, I GUESS…**

**TT: no problem. kk.**

**CG: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.**

**CG: GOODBYE, EVERYONE.**

**CG: FUCKING HELL!**

**AA: TT, pleAse, don’t scAre the children.**

**TT: lol.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the shit.  
> Anyway, hope you people reading are enjoying this! It's fun to write, and I hope I won't get discouraged and stop haha... Also I sorta like this format of every second chapter just being a Pesterlog... I might continue like that.  
> So anyway, next chapter it's finally time for some Karkat/Dave bonding, isn't it exciting.


	5. Kiam Ĝi Terminos?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the day. This is the day he finally gets rid of Dave. Finally. He's totally gonna get rid of him. For sure. He's making it happen. Why wouldn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: "When Will It End?"
> 
> (Oh yeah, I've gone back and translated the chapter titles in the beginning Notes for each chapter!)

_ Come on, Karkat, you contacted them for a reason. You can’t just fucking back out as soon as your pathetic ass gotta show some backbone. Just get rid of him! Just cut that toxic asshole out of your goddamn life. You gotta fucking tell him off once and for all, show him who’s in charge. ...Or maybe I could just ask Kanaya instead. No, what the fuck are you thinking, idiot? She is just going to prod you further into it, saying how you ‘need more friends’. Not that it isn’t true. Shut up! No, okay, that’s not even remotely close to a possible option. I’m not a fucking baby anymore, for fuck’s sake, I can handle a confrontation myself. On my own. Fuck it. I’m just going to ban him from the club. He can’t bother me there if he’s banned, that’s just mathematics. Maybe that could put him off. Yes, Karkat, it’s time to put your goddamn foot down for once! You will tell him off, and then, for fucking good measure, you will tell John off too. He was no real friend anyway. I bet they were making fun of you behind your back anyway, being  _ roommates  _ and  _ laughing _ about you. Ha! I’ll show them who’s in fucking charge! Dave  _ fucking  _ douchebag Strider won’t even know what hit him! _

 

“So, how do you say ‘loser’ in Esperanto?”

“Oh, something along the lines of ‘shut the fuck up’.”

“Man, ‘shut the fuck up’, you’re a damn riot.”

Dave swang one leg over the couch armrest, sprawling out comfortably on the worn out cushions. His face was hoist up into a grin, which looked even more presumptuous with half his face covered by those black, impenetrable glasses. Each white, shiny tooth seemed to be a mockery to Karkat’s very existence.

Why the fuck was this guy even still here?

During the past couple of weeks, following the evening when  _ Dave _ had permanently settled down in Karkat’s life and made himself comfortable all up in his business, had, frankly, been awful. Karkat could barely sleep anymore. All night, he was up tossing and turning, trying to push the inevitably coming day off of his mind. Unfortunately, every day was the inevitably coming day.

Because Dave was everywhere. All the time. And when he  _ technically  _ was not there, he still never left Karkat’s mind alone for long. His taunting voice and his gibes circled around in his brain, which in turn took away even more of Karkat’s time and patience, since it forced him to constantly try to one-up and best his own made up Dave Strider brain ghost.

It was exhausting.

The first meeting had gone by fine. Horrible, yes. Awkward, yes. But still fine. It had mostly been like any other club meeting of his Esperanto club. John had been trying his best, Kanaya had been trying to cover for John when his best was less than desirable, and Karkat had been shouting advice, insults, and grammatical rules at them until he was red in the face. But for whatever reason, he just had not been able to get into it the same way as usual. And that reason was that Dave had been sitting staring at him the whole time, a facetious smile on his lips. Not that Karkat knew for sure that he had been staring, it was hard to tell with his eyes being concealed and all, but he could just  _ feel  _ it. And each time he had looked to check if the boy was still mockingly staring at him, the boy’s smile had just grown wider.

In the end, Karkat had had to call it an early night. His nerves just could not handle it, and his temperament was not even to speak of. But for a guy who had not said a word during the entire night and had shown no interest in learning or getting to know the others whatsoever, it sure took a while for Dave to leave. Karkat had had to literally  _ shove _ him out the door with John, and he had still  been able to pinch Karkat’s cheek and flick him on the nose before the door had closed behind him.

What the fuck did the guy have about his cheeks, anyway?

Karkat had felt miserable before that, but that was when the hell that his life had turned into recently had  _ really _ shown its true colours.

“So,” Dave continued, breaking the silence. “Just you and me again then, huh?”

“Yeah, just rub it in. That’s all you’re good at isn’t it?” Karkat snubbed, but continued when he did not see an offended enough emotion in Dave’s face. “Taunting me, I mean.”

“Oh, trust me, I would  _ never _ ,” Dave said and brought out an apple from who knows where, and took a big bite.

“Please don’t eat on my couch.”

Dave turned his head in Karkat’s direction and took another bite, some juice spurting onto the couch fabric. “Oh, trust me, I would  _ never _ .”

Karkat got up from the chair he was sitting on and turned to walk to the kitchen, anything to get out of that asscunt’s periphary. He was so, so tired of his schemes, his ploys and his taunts, and any second away from him was a bliss from the heavens.  _ God, why didn’t I just kick him out like that creep told me to? _

But Karkat knew perfectly well why Dave was still in his apartment, squirting apple juice on his furniture, taking in mud and gravel through the door, invading his personal sphere, and taking naps and texting friends on his couch. John and Kanaya had abandoned Karkat. And while Dave was the last person Karkat wanted in his home, he was too proud to admit defeat and cancel his club.

So really, pride was the only reason he let himself get pushed around and hectored every week. Maybe loneliness had some part in it, even though he did not want to admit it. He knew Kanaya would always be there for him, and John had texted him a few times, even invited him to a few different Facebook events he never came to, but it just was not enough. He thought they had had something  _ special  _ going, that they were a  _ group _ , but then they had started to come less and less frequently to his apartment on Thursday eves. Kanaya was mostly going out with that Rose friend of hers, even though she kept denying that they were actually ‘going out’, and John… Well, Karkat did not even know if he had an excuse. Studying, maybe. Still, no matter their reasons, it still stung.

And, more importantly, John was not there to keep an eye on his horrible,  _ horrible  _ roommate.

“You grab a drink for me there, darling?”

Karkat snapped. “ _ I’m no fucking darling! _ ”

“Woah, dude. Keep your goat in check.”

Karkat was just about to ask what fucking goat Dave was talking about, when Dave flicked his clean-eaten apple core onto the wooden crate that Karkat used as a sofa table. The last bit of fruit juice leaked out and formed a small stain on the otherwise perfectly clean box.

Karkat just stared at the atrocity, the crime, the  _ blasphemy _ that had just unfolded in front of him. “What the fuck did you just do! That’s my favourite crate!””

“Well, now at least it smells better,” Dave answered matter-of-factly with a winning smile gracing his face.

Karkat gave up. Not wanting to show it, he angrily stomped over and plumped down on the couch next to the boy that was occupying his apartment, instead of slump his shoulders, let out a deep sigh, and fall down dead to the ground as he actually wanted to do. He crossed his arms. “Why are you even here, Strider? It’s not even Thursday.”

Dave reached up to his glasses and tilted them down slightly over his nose so he could show Karkat how he theatrically widened his eyes in faked chock and raised his eyebrows comically. “It  _ isn’t _ ?”

Karkat was, as always, not up for playing the douchebag’s games. “It’s Friday. You were here yesterday too.” 

“Oh,” Dave exclaimed, putting his sunglasses back in place on his face. “I guess I’m just so thirsty for the knowledge that you, Oh, great master, the one and only guru of dead and silly lingos, can provide to me, a simple and humble vagabond of actually useful skills and merits.” He reached over and pinched Karkat’s cheek.

“Stop that!” Karkat yelled and hit Dave’s hand away. He was quiet for a second, but then remembered what Dave had said. “And what the fuck is  _ that  _ supposed to mean, you complete jerk-off!?”

“Each to their own, I guess,” Dave said and stretched, putting one arm on the backrest of the sofa, dangerously close to Karkat. Dangerous for Dave, that is. “I mean, it makes sense that a guy like you would put all his time and effort into something that will be dead in just a couple of years and that no one wants to learn about anyway. It’s useless, but if you’re having fun, I guess-”

“I don’t put all my time into it!” Karkat exploded, his face suddenly very red. “Or, I mean,” he spluttered, “it’s not useless!”

“Sure it isn’t,” Dave smiled sympathetically and ruffled the smaller boy’s hair.

Karkat almost bit his arm off.

He flew up onto his feet again. “Why are you  _ like  _ this?” he shouted, his voice sounding oddly raspy in comparison to its usual nasal quality. He did not recognise it. He was not even that angry.

“Oh, come on, Crabby, don’t be like that now.”

“I will be however crabby I goddamn want!”

Dave looked at him and nodded in faked concern and sympathy, in pretended understanding. “Come sit down here now,” he patted the couch cushion next to him. “Talk to daddy.”

“I hope you regret that string of words that just exited your mouth.”

Dave winced out a smile. “Yeah, I already kinda do, actually.”

A slight spasm went through Karkat’s face and the right corner of his mouth twitched. He let his crossed arms fall down to his sides and, defeated, slumped down onto the couch again.

The two boys sat in silence for a minute. It was like the air had stopped still in the apartment, and a complete quiet had filled the room. Maybe the fan had short-circuited.

Finally, Dave broke the silence: “Man, who are you trying to impress, dude.”

Karkat sat up in the couch. “What?”

Dave, still sitting indolent, deep in the couch, with his hands lazily folded together over his stomach, turned his face towards Karkat. “Doing all those squats. Standing up, sitting down, standing up.” Dave gesticulated a small repeating circle in the air with his index finger. “Who’re ya gettin’ that ass all plump for?”

Karkat quickly scrambled to his feet, his ears red.

Dave, still on the couch, put a hand on his chest and gasped theatrically. “Oh, me? Why, Karkat! I’m flattered but-”

“No, idiot!” Karkat snubbed angrily and sank down into the couch again.

Dave once again lowered his shades and gave Karkat a meaning look.

“Argh!” Karkat threw his hands up in the air, but stopped himself from rising to his feet once again and instead just morosely pressed his back even deeper down into the sofa backrest.

Then it was quiet again.

Longer this time.

Karkat suddenly felt like he just did not have it in him anymore. All the screaming and shouting he had been forced to do with Dave around the past month had been so very taxing. It seemed like it was impossible for the two of them to be in the same room without it ending with Karkat screaming insults and profanities until he got a sore throat and Dave, well, just having that winning,  _ smug _ look plastered onto his face. Karkat hated it, and sometimes he felt like he would do anything to get it off of his smug mug.

Anything.

But  _ this _ , Karkat realised, was kind of… Well,  _ nice _ . The quiet whirring of the fridge was the only sound apparent in his cramped apartment, but, if he listened closely enough, he could almost hear Dave’s breathing. The boy, who Karkat, as of late, had subconsciously started to refer to as his, even though he was aware it was silly and stupid, archenemy, was sitting quiet beside him in the rugged sofa, breathing in and breathing out. Almost like a normal person. Karkat suppressed a snort.

The seconds and the minutes went by, and the two boys just sat next to each other, staring out into the open air. Maybe the fighting spirit reservoirs had emptied out at last, from the excessive toll they must have taken during the past couple of weeks of raging and heated arguments, if now intangible screaming could be called an ‘argument’.

Karkat was suddenly hit by the impulse to look at Dave, to just sneak a peek of what someone so despicable and awful would look like sitting in this calm. Would he be  taking the chance to silently plan new ways to ruin Karkat’s day? Would he, too, have been overcome by the odd inner peace that Karkat was experiencing? Or would he maybe be-

Dave was looking straight at him. Karkat let a small yelp slip out through his lips and quickly turned his head back to stare at the wall in front of them both. His pulse was pounding in his ears.

_ What the fuck? _

For how long had Dave been staring at him? The entire time? Maybe he really was a stalker, possessively gazing upon his prey at last. Or maybe they had just turned their heads at the same time. That made a whole lot of more sense, actually. The pulse pounding in Karkat’s ears was beating like crazy, and he started to feel a bit light headed. His back felt wet against the couch.

He sat still. Every muscle in his body was tensed up, scrunched into tightly coiled-up springs. He could not bear this. He had to get out of there, he had to run away, he had to leave the scene immediately. He shot another quick glance at Dave. Just to see if the coast was clear.

When he turned his head to face the other boy  again, Dave had just opened his mouth.

“So how did you get into all of thi-”

Karkat screamed in terror.

When he finally came to his senses again, Dave was staring at him with his mouth hanging agape. Karkat felt embarrassed, but still his eyes nervously hunted across the other’s face, looking for a hint of attack, even though rationally he knew that that thought was stupid.

“What the hell was that for?” Dave looked genuinely confused, not at all feeling in control of the situation anymore. Even though it had not been intentional, it made Karkat feel a tint of success.

“What the hell was what for?” Karkat threw back, immediately regretting it when he realised he sounded like a little kid. His nerves really were off today.

Dave did not answer. Maybe he did something with his eyes to indicate how he was feeling, but Karkat had no way of knowing. After a few seconds the other seemed to decide to let it go.

“I asked how you got into all of this.”

“You started harassing me.”

Dave’s mouth opened slightly, only a sliver of air between his lips, but quickly it turned back into a thin line. “No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. And now, you break into my home regularly.”

“What, no, I-” He trailed off, and then fell silent. He kept - what Karkat presumed to be - eye contact for a few seconds, before slumping back down into the back rest, a rather sullen grimace on his lips. “What programme are you in?”

Karkat was taken aback. “What?”

“What programme are you in?” Dave repeated. “Like, what’s your major?”

“Oh,” Karkat responded, a bit surprised by the completely normal question. Unless there was a catch. “Anthropology.”

It was quiet for awhile, and Dave just stared at him. Maybe there was a catch after all. Then Dave inhaled a sharp breath and responded: “Oh, like furries?”

“What, no! What the fuck’s a ‘furry’?”

Dave opened his mouth to answer but Karkat stopped him before he could speak. “No, please don’t answer that.” He held up a hand. “You’re probably gonna say something incredibly stupid and I don’t want to hear it. No, I would guess it’s the opposite of that. It’s human studies.”

“Oh.” Dave seemed to consider that for a while. “What do you do?”

Karkat felt how something flipped in his stomach. “Do you really want to know?”

“Uhm, sure?”

In a moment of weakness, Karkat’s lips lifted to reveal a happy grin with pointy teeth. He loved telling people about this. This particular topic, he could go on about forever. He tried to sound casual: “Oh, just some languages, history, history of languages, religion, sociology…” he trailed off. “Mostly languages.”

Dave whistled. “Man, am I glad I’m free from all that hell! Spanish, history, civics…” he shuddered. “Fucking hated all of that lot.” But when Karkat glared at him he quickly added: “Or, I mean, if you want to study sucky subjects, that’s cool.”

Karkat curled up his fists and his cheeks got hot, but he decided to let it slide, and instead he leaned back into the hard couch backrest behind him.

It was quiet again for a while. He was holding his breath.

“What do you do then? I mean, what’s your major?” Karkat finally breathed out.

Dave leaned back and put his arms behind his head, staring up into the ceiling. “Oh, you know, the usual. Film theory.”

“‘Film’ is a major you can have?” Karkat splurted out before he could stop himself.

Dave turned his face towards him. “Yeah,  _ asshole _ , it’s a major you can have. It’s in the arts programme and it’s awesome.”

“Sorry,” Karkat mumbled and turned down his face.

“Well, anyway,” Dave continued, putting on a voice saying ‘I’m going to pretend like I’m offended and that I’m just too big of a person to act like I am’. He counted on his fingers, a bit of an exasperated, sharp tone to his voice: “Cinematography, directing, editing, producing, pedagogical psychology… And then actual filming, of course.”

Karkat made big eyes. “I didn’t realise you took that many classes when you’re just doing arts!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not ‘just doing arts’, but yeah, it’s a full time job, basically.”

“What do you film, then?” Karkat asked, founding himself actually interested in this asshole of a bully’s life, instead of just desperately trying to keep up an awkward conversation to fill the silence.

Dave stretched. “Really anything.” He turned to look at Karkat, with what Karkat could only guess to be a sly half-smile on his lips. “I could show you some time.”

Karkat flinched back as if Dave had shocked him with a stun gun, surprising himself that he had leaned in towards the other boy at all. “No, thank you. I think I’m good. I’m not stupid.”

“Didn’t say you were,” Dave said, and once again crossed his arms behind his head.

  
When Dave left through the apartment door later that night, Karkat slammed the door shut, feeling happy that he would  _ finally _ get to have some time alone, away from that douchebag. A few seconds later he caught himself just standing and staring at the door, and, for some reason feeling a bit embarrassed, he turned around and strolled over to the kitchen, ready to grab a glass of milk and heat up some bell peppers with cheese in his maybe-hazardous microwave. He had an oblivious smile on his lips as he watched his dinner rotate on the other side of the microwave glass, but he could not place what it was that made him feel so light inside. Maybe he was happy after all, that he had not cut Dave out of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! There it is! Thanks for reading, all of y'all!


	6. Saluton, Karkat!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat! You fool! Make some friends, you need it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Hi, Karkat!"

**\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 14:15 --**

 

**EB: hi karkat!**

**EB: i just thought i should let you know that i can’t come tonight. i hope it’s okay, i’m really sorry!**

**CG: FUCK OKAY I GUESS KANAYA AND I CAN MANAGE**

**EB: thanks!**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 14:17 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 17:02 --**

 

**EB: hi karkat! it’s me again.**

**EB: i won’t be able to come this week either!**

**EB: but maybe we can meet some other day? if you want to, i mean.**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 17:03 --**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **began trolling** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **at 18:58 --**

 

**CG: OH.**

**CG: I DON’T KNOW WHEN I’M GOING TO BE AVAILABLE.**

**CG: IT IS A LOT OF WORK PUTTING THIS TOGETHER FOR ALL OF YOU, YOU KNOW.**

**EB: yeah, it’s really cool what you do! i’m just really busy.**

**EB: well, some other time then maybe!**

**CG: MAYBE.**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 19:00 --**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **at 19:00 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 20:46 --**

 

**EB: hi karkat!**

**EB: i’m really sorry i haven’t been able to come to the meetings lately……..**

**CG: IT'S FINE.**

**EB: oh, i’m happy to hear it!**

**EB: i have just had soooooooo much to do lately!**

**CG: THAT’S NICE.**

**EB: yeah. it is……..**

**EB: oh, right! i wanted to ask you something!**

**EB: me and some friends are going away this weekend to some kind of big city park in a town an hour away or so.**

**EB: i think it is going to be a lot of fun, so i wanted to ask if you wanted to come with us!**

**CG: I THINK I’M GOOD, THANKS.**

**EB: oh, okay! that’s okay! next time then!**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 20:52 --**

 

**CG: YEAH.**

**CG: NEXT TIME.**

 

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **at 20:54 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 12:21 --**

 

**EB: hi again!!!!!!!!**

**EB: oh, sorry. that was a bit much haha.**

**EB: anyway! i sent an event invite to you on facebook, i don’t know if you saw it! it’s some kind of music festival, i think.**

**EB: a dj dave really likes is going to be there so we are all going!**

**EB: not that he would ever admit it hahahahahahahaha**

**EB: well, hope you come!**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 12:22 --**

 

* * *

**\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 09:40 --**

 

**EB: hi! i just wanted to check if you are okay! it was a while since i saw you in school and… well, i haven’t really been able to come much to your meetings either!**

**EB: vriska can be soooooooo clingy haha**

**EB: you know how it is!**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 09:40 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 23:45 --**

 

**EB: hi again.**

**EB: you probably don’t want to come but one of vriska’s friends is throwing a party for her birthday now on the 5th.**

**EB: message if you want to come!**

**EB: her name is terezi, by the way.**

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 23:49 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 18:30 --**

 

**EB: sad you couldn’t make it last time! but it might just be your lucky day……..**

**EB: terezi and vriska are like really close friends. so no wonder they basically have the same birthday hahahaha.**

**EB: vriska’s birthday is coming up now this weekend and we are all throwing her a surprise party on friday at me and dave’s place!**

**EB: i can’t wait to see her face hehehehe.**

**EB: between you and me, she thinks she is too cool for birthdays. but i bet one of my cakes can turn that frown upside down!**

**CG: IS DAVE GOING TO BE THERE?**

**EB: oh! hi karkat!!!!!!!!**

**EB: i mean, yeah? he lives there too, you know!**

**CG: RIGHT.**

**EB: karkat, what is going on with you and him? have you been fighting?**

**EB: to be honest at first i got the impression that you didn’t like him that much but now he’s always spending time at your apartment haha so i guess i was wrong.**

**CG: YEAH, NO, IT’S NOTHING.**

**CG: …**

**CG: SURE, I WILL COME.**

**EB: cool! i’m really happy to see you again!**

**EB: maybe you can teach me all the esperanto i have missed haha**

**CG: YEAH HA HA HA, SURE. TOTALLY. *NOT*, IDIOT. IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.**

**EB: there’s the karkat i know!**

**EB: okay! see you on friday then! it starts at 7 but you can come at 6 so we have time to hide hehehehehehehehe.**

  
  


**\--** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 18:51 --**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **ectoBiologist [EB]** **at 18:52 --**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little message: For whatever reason, the school I go to has decided to "confiscate" all school laptops in the commune for reprogramming, so tomorrow I will have to hand in my computer (that I'm writing this on, that is). And then I will get it back somewhen in late August. Before tomorrow I'm going to try to schedule the next chapter for next Sunday. I do have a stationary computer that I haven't really used since I got this school computer, so I will be able to continue writing this. But I will be going away to get my driver's license for a few weeks, so there will probably be 1-2 more chapters before a little hiatus!  
> Hope y'all have it good, and have a good summer and happy Pride!


	7. Ĉu Mi Vere Devas Veni?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh! I believe it is time to meet the gang! Aren’t you excited? Karkat sure isn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Do I really have to come?
> 
> So... This will probably be the last chapter for a month or so. But I'm definitely not giving it up!

The small, button-head buzzer was cool to the touch under Karkat’s fingertip. It was not too late to back out yet. They would not even know that he had been there, standing outside their apartment door like a virgin on prom night. Now he was just a few seconds away from entering hell. One step away from the door and he could be out of there, one step back and he could look forward to enjoying a long, Dave-free evening. He kept the finger on the doorbell.

“Karkat, what are you doing?”

Startled, Karkat accidentally pressed down on the button. His stomach dropped when he heard the obnoxious, cheap-apartment buzzing sound announcing his doom.

“What did you do that for?” Karkat moaned, not even turning around to look at Kanaya.

He could hear her reprimanding voice from behind his shoulder: “Karkat, John and Dave have been kind enough to invite us to this birthday event. It would be impolite to decline.”

“You just want to go because Rose is going to be there,” Karkat grumbled accusatory.

“Wh- No. No, that is definitely not it,” Kanaya lied, her voice just one half note higher than usual which Karkat would have missed if he had not known her as well as he did. But he did, and he knew he had hit the spot. “Though I must admit to looking forward to meeting Ms. Lalonde again,” Kanaya continued, failing miserably to sound casual.

_ Fucking God, Kanaya, get a goddamn grip. You are unbelievable. _

“It’s fucking weird they all know each other somehow,” Karkat muttered, ignoring that Kanaya had referred to her crush as ‘Ms. Lalonde’.

At that, the door swung open.

“Good day,” Kanaya squeaked, before muffling an embarrassed cough in her hand.

Dave was standing in the door, looking down at the two of them. He was lazily leaning one of his elbows against the door frame, and had crossed his shins. To appear casual and aloof, no doubt, Karkat grouched silently.

“Sup,” he breathed out, something Karkat thought to be pretty odd coming from the guy he had gotten to know as the college campus’ number one ‘unrightfully confident asshole’. Then he said nothing. Instead he just stood in the open door frame, blocking the view of the entrance. Karkat had to try hard not to squirm in the uncomfortable silence that trapped him in a limbo between exposing himself to a socially taxing occasion and bolting right the hell out of there.

Then, the sound of some kind of pan clattering down onto the floor, followed by a loud “Fuck!” erupted from within the apartment. This seemed to make Dave snap out of whatever stupor he had found himself in, and he visibly jolted. He shuddered lightly.

“Yeah?”

Karkat squinted at him, but then realised Dave was not going to continue. “We are here to admit ourselves to prison,” he helpfully explained.

Kanaya began to protest behind him, but then Dave seemed to realise where he was. “Oh, Shortstuff, it’s you.” He did a dramatic bow, showing them inside.  “After you.”

Karkat shot him a poisonous look. “You’re already in the fucking flat,” he said, but then grudgingly trotted into the apartment that had until then been concealed behind a certain blond, dark-bespeckled asshole. Kanaya followed him inside.

_ Oh, hell no. _

It seemed like everyone was there. John and the Asian guy with the ridiculous, photochromic sunglasses were scrubbing the floor, trying to mop up the remainmants of what must have been a pretty impressive cake - before its accident - from the plastic mat. A girl with red, slicked back hair and a creepily wide grin was hovering over the two boys, leaning against the kitchen countertop and cackling at their misfortune. A small girl snuggled up in a big hoodie with cat ears was sat in the lap of a sinewy guy with long, raven-black hair on the couch, and they were both quietly conversing with a mild-looking punk kid sitting in a wheelchair opposite of them.Though, now that Karkat thought about it, he could not see the girl with the loud laugh that had made fun of him in the cafeteria with Dave that first time they met. The one with the freakish scar covering half her face. Maybe she was not that close to them, and had only had lunch with them that one time. The freckled, blond guy with the gelled-up hair - who Karkat had assumed to be a relative of Dave’s - also seemed to be missing. Good riddance, Karkat thought bitterly.

“Oh, Karkat and Kanaya!” John’s voice protruded from where he was crouching on the floor. He rose to his feet and made his way on long legs over to where they were standing in the door. “I’m so happy you two could make it!” He leaned forward and whispered to them conspiratory: “She will be here any minute now. This is going to be so great.” He encouragingly grinned a toothy smile at them, wrinkling his eyes.

Kanaya smiled a polite, uncertain smile, but how she stretched her neck to scan the room for a certain someone did not go under Karkat’s radar. Karkat let out a dry, awkward cough.

“Oh, right.” Dave strode over from where he had been standing lingering behind the two newly arrived guests. “Everyone!” he called out to the room, making Karkat wince at the other’s obvious attempt at making him uncomfortable. It was working quite well. Everyone in the room turned their heads almost simultaneously to look at the four of them standing in the entryway, some curious and some seeming annoyed. “Let me introduce all of y’all to the two latest editions to our pack,” he twirled his hand in a bow as though Karkat and Kanaya were royalty. “This angry-looking short guy here,” he pointed to Karkat, “is Karkat.” He pinched Karkat’s cheek and quickly retrieved his hand to not risk getting bitten. “He is just as angry as he looks. And this,” he sauntered over to Kanaya, “is Kanaya. But I think most of y’all already know her.”

_ What. _ “ _ What? _ ”

The red-haired girl spoke up, her voice nasal and shrill: “I don’t think any of us have actually  _ met _ her, but Rose never shuts up about her!”

“Yeah, Terezi is right,” the guy scraping cake from the flood weighed in.

Dave crossed his arms. “My sister is an absolutely hopeless case. Since she and Maryam started going out, I haven’t heard her talk about anything else. I wouldn’t be surprised if I walked into her room tonight and she was whispering sweet honeysuckle nonsense about her into her pillow.”

_ Sister? _

Karkat had never seen Kanaya’s face so red.

“Why would you enter my room in the middle of the night,  _ brother dearest _ ?” came a voice from some place hidden deeper within the kitchen, the teasing sarcasm apparent. Shortly, a young woman looking frighteningly alike Dave walked out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. “Also, I would not necessarily say that we are ‘going out’.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Dave sighed and sacked his shoulders in played impotence. He turned to look at Karkat. “Is yours the same way?”

Karkat just could not get his head around it. “Sister?”

“Yes, Karkat?” Dave’s sister said from where she was standing.

He threw his hands out, and looked from each and every face in the room, expecting some kind of explanation. Going off of their faces, they seemed to understand even less than he did. “This cannot be happening. What are the odds my best friend is dating  _ his _ ,” he pointed at Dave, gritting his teeth, “sister?”

“I would not necessarily say ‘dati-”

“Oh, shut it, you literally are,” Dave cut his sister off.

“...And even if that  _ were _ the case, why would that be such a horrible thing, Karkat?”

“Aaaand... _ that’s _ about enough horsing around. Let me introduce all of you,” Dave interrupted, trying to not dirty his name as the bully he actually was. Not that the rest of them probably had not partaken in some kind of harassment of Karkat at one point or another. What an  _ excellent  _ host, Karkat thought, his inner voice dripping with sarcasm.

Unaware of Karkat’s thoughts and inner accusations, the rest of the room listened to Dave’s charades with half an ear open, continuing with their own conversations and chores with the others. Dave began:

“Right over there, yeah, that’s right, the one eating cake from the floor (“I’m not eating it!”), that’s Sollux. Fucking awful guy, always fucking dropping my cakes. And that, the creep hovering above him, that’s Terezi. I already said that, didn’t I? My memory is like a fucking wrestler waking up from the worst hangover of his life only to realise his memory was shit even to begin with from all the punches he’s taken during his career of caressing sweaty dudes. Anyway, where was I? Oh, that’s right. The girl over there, in the sweaty muscle-man’s lap - that’s Equius, by the way - that’s Nepeta. She only bites a little, but only if she likes you. And the guy sitting over there? That’d be Tavros for ya, he’s the fucking worst at rapping. I should know” At last, Dave pointed at John. “And that’s the lucky someone to date the terror that is Vriska Serket. I believe you have met?”

Dave spoke so fast it was close to impossible to even try to remember all of the names and which face they belonged to. Karkat did not even know why he tried, but he did.

“Vriska?” Karkat asked, not wanting to connect the dots. He shot John a look, but the boy was not looking at him. He had turned around to nervously watch Sollux and Terezi wash off the last cream from the floor, and Karkat, for some reason hurt, saw how his strong neck flexed as he turned and how his dimples deepened into his warmly brown, soft-looking skin. He was radiant. Suddenly the room seemed to protract, making a tunnel, and John seemed to move farther away than ever. He felt cold.

“Oh, Karkat…” Kanaya mumbled sympathetically.

Dave had been standing quiet for the few seconds during which Karkat had gone through a minor worldview conversion, observing the two newly arrivees. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking or who exactly he was looking at, but the corner of his mouth curled up into a scoffing half-smile.

“What’s wrong, Shortstuff?”

“Nothing, asshole. Fuck off.”

“Okay, okay,” Dave said, smiling down at the shorter boy, his arms crossed in a lofty pose.

John seemed to have a nose for bad atmospheres, and quickly stepped in after letting his eyes worriedly run between Karkat and Dave: “Vriska will be here any minute now, guys. I want everything to be perfect!” Karkat noticed a slight blush had crept onto John’s cheeks, and he felt a twinge in his chest. John took a few steps into the centre of the room, intaking a pose that looked ready for a speech. “This is the first birthday I will ever get to celebrate with Vriska, it might even be the last if this doesn’t go right.” He met everyone’s eye. “For some silly reason she thinks birthdays and birthday cakes are ‘overrated and for pussies’,” he said, forming air quotes with his fingers. “Now. I need everyone to work hard these last minutes to prepare for my girlfriend opening that door and having the nicest birthday of her life. Nepeta, Equius,” he turned to the couple on the couch. “You two and Tavros clean off what you have put on the table, and then you can keep watch for her. Terezi, you and Sollux put out the food on the table, and Rose, you come with me to help me with finish writing that…  _ thing _ .”

Kanaya’s head perked up. “Writing? I would love to help, if that is alright.”

John smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Kanaya. And oh, Dave? Can you and Karkat put the last bit of garnish on the extra cakes I baked?” He wistfully turned his head towards where the great cake accident had taken place earlier. “The ones I already fixed just won’t do.”

“ _ What? _ ” Karkat exclaimed, feeling his blood come to a stop.

Dave put a hand on his shoulder, which Karkat tried desperately to shake off, but failed and instead just ended up wiggling where he stood. “Sure, John. Y’all just scamper away and leave the creamy business to us.”

Too upset to move, Karkat let Dave push him into the kitchen, shock-red face. Well in the kitchen, Dave opened the fridge and squatted down, an appeased smile on his face as he pulled out two big cakes.

“Look at these absolutely nasties,” he said and slammed them down onto the countertop.

Karkat felt no need to comment.

“You start with the cream, I chop up the fruit. I don’t think you’ll have any problems doing some whipping,” he explained, not explaining anything.

“What is  _ that  _ supposed to mean?” Karkat asked, almost tasting himself entering the Innuendo Zone. He was not too far away from just giving up on everything completely by that point. Maybe it was not worth it, maybe he could just ditch town and drown himself in an ocean somewhere. No need to tell anyone.

Dave just shrugged his shoulders before pulling out the supplies from all the different cupboards under the countertop. Karkat wondered if he made a lot of food, watching how comfortably and wontly he moved. He had gotten the impression that if anyone cooked in the apartment, it would be John. He also wondered how these two college students could pay for such a big apartment.

“Start whippin’”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “ _ God _ , you are as charming as ever,” he said grudgingly, but nevertheless angrily started to whisk the cream Dave had filled the plastic bowl with. Dave had started cutting up some bananas and grapes and had messily thrown some berries onto the countertop to rinse later.

“I blame it on my perfect upbringing and hours and hours of tact and etiquette lessons,” Dave answered, looking up to meet Karkat’s eye, not a trace of folly on his face. “I can hook you up with my teachers if you want. Free of charge.”

Karkat quickly turned down his face, feeling an anger starting to bubble up inside of him again. He did not know how or why Dave could get under his skin like this, every little small thing stacked on top of each other just drove him crazy. Why the hell did he agree to come here? He whisked the cream harder and harder, simply _beating the_ _living shit_ out of it. If he closed his eyes he could _almost_ imagine it being Dave.

“Woah, dude, calm down. What did that milk ever do to you?”

Karkat’s head snapped up to meet Dave’s eyes, his face decorated with deep lines of fury, his eyebrows angled down to a degree so that he almost looked like a cartoon character.

“Oh,” Dave said, a small sound that was almost impossible to read. He took one step forward. “Oh,” he continued.

Karkat’s face eased up into confusion.  _ What? _ he tried to say, but he could not find the words as the other boy slowly inched closer. “Wha-” he managed to begin, but stopped when he realised Dave was so close he could feel his breath against his skin. He did not know blood could travel that fast to a person’s head.

Then, like a cobra, Dave leaned down to attack, placing one, insanely quick lick on Karkat’s cheek.

He then straightened out again, smacking his lips, tasting the cream on the tip of his tongue.

Karkat was stunned. “Wh- You- Why-?” he spluttered out, his face burning up.

Dave looked down at him, letting his tongue run over his lips, smiling a mischievous grin with a glint in his eye. Then, he doubled over and the silence in the kitchen erupted into loud laughter.

Karkat stared at him in shocked disbelief. The boy in front of him  was almost kneeling, supporting his hands on his thighs as he laughed into the ground. Loudly. And for way too long. Karkat felt his heart start to beat faster, and his ears adopted a crimson tone. “ _ What the  _ fuck _ did you do that for? _ ” he shouted.

Dave slowly rose to his feet again, still wheezing. He looked Karkat in the eye and a light chuckle escaped him. “You, you had some cream, there,” he said and pointed to his own cheekbone. “Man, you should have seen your face.” He lifted his hands up into the air as though praising an unknown god. “Priceless,” he whispered to the heavens.

“What kind of excuse is that for  _ licking  _ me!?” Karkat yelled, his voice hitching and rising up to an embarrassing falset. 

“Dude, chill,” Dave said and turned back to his cutting board. “It’s not like I was surprise-rimming you.”

“You  _ what _ , now?”

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my  _ god _ _!_ ” came a high-pitched, girly voice from the apartment door. “She’s here! She’s here, she’s here! Oh my god, John! Come!” the girl called Nepeta yelled, almost jumping up and down where she stood next to the long-haired, broody guy who Karkat assumed to be her boyfriend.

“Nepeta, chill out!” Dave called from where he was standing, ignoring Karkat’s question but maintaining eye a constant eye contact.

“Thanks, Nepeta!” John called from the living-room. He clapped his hands. “Everybody! _ Hide! _ ”

The apartment was suddenly full of movement. The guy in the wheelchair was out of the room like lightning, hiding just behind the bathroom door. Nepeta had thrown herself on top of Equius and pushed him to the ground behind the sofa. There was no way he had not thrown himself to the floor on his own accord though, as his body mass was just  _ massive  _ next to her tiny stature. Rose and Kanaya shut the bedroom door to the room in which they had been writing that…  _ thing _ with John, and peered out through the door crack. Terezi was nowhere to be seen. Sollux was desperately trying to pull Terezi out of a cupboard, angrily whispering how they needed a more practical hiding spot. John had sat down on the couch, trying his best to look inconspicuous. He was not very good at it.

Karkat still stood stunned next to Dave, unsure whether he should try to kill the other now or wait for a later time when there were not as many witnesses around.

A quick flash across Dave’s face. Then a grin. “Bro, get down!” he shouted, and then he pounced.

“What the  _ fu-! _ ”

The two boys tumbled to the ground in a heap of limbs and angry snarls and laughter. In the fall, Karkat missed an opportunity to bite Dave’s hand.

_ ‘Oof!’ _

Well on the floor, Dave wrestled the smaller boy down onto his back so that he was lying flat on the floor with his hands and legs locked under Dave’s grip.  Karkat was surprised at how strong Dave actually was, and he could not for his life come up with a reason as to how that was, Dave being the spoiled brat that he was. He could not have had to lift a single finger in his entire life.

In a frenzy of lost self-control, Karkat let out a furious hissing-sound and tried to kick Dave in the groin. “Get the fuck  _ off  _ of me!” He once again tried to bite Dave, aiming for his shoulder.

“Woah, buy a guy a dinner first,” Dave puffed from on top of him, trying to put on his douchebag-looking half smile through his efforts of suppressing Karkat’s violent kicks and attempts to free himself. Infuriatingly, he succeeded rather well.

“I _ hate you _ ,” Karkat hissed, but his angry spasms slowly died down, and soon he realised it was no use. Dave was much stronger than he was. He finally  accepted defeat, and instead lay incapacitated underneath the other boy.

“Be still, you two!” John hushedly whispered from out in the living-room. “I can see her just outside the building already!”

Karkat looked up at Dave, who once again seemed to have entered the kind of dissociative trance that had hit him when he had opened the door for Karkat and Kanaya earlier. He was sitting on top of Karkat’s stomach, holding his hands down next to his head. His sunglasses were covering most of his face, and his mouth was just one, thin line. It was impossible to read any emotion on his face or demeanor whatsoever.

“Uh…” Karkat began. Maybe he would not be able to free himself from Dave, but they really did need to get up from the floor and hide as soon as possible. Vriska, whoever that was - except John’s  _ girlfriend _ Karkat thought bitterly - would arrive any minute. He almost confused his own beating pulse with heavy footstep approaching over the floor outside. “What are you doing?”

Dave flinched slightly, easy to miss other than the short spasm that creased the muscles around his mouth. “Oh, yeah. Fuck.” He quickly slid off of Karkat’s body to sit on the floor, and dumbfoundedly reached out a hand to help the other boy up from the floor.

Karkat ignored it - pursed his lips - and instead sat up by himself. He looked at Dave. Dave was crouching beside him, hunched over, and just stared at Karkat. Incredibly creepy, Karkat decided.

“Er…” he said. “We need to hide.”

“Oh, right.” Some kind of switch seemed to switch on inside of Dave, and the dazed aura around him seemed to dispatch. With a yelp, Karkat was once again pushed down onto his back, and Dave rolled over to lie down beside him in one smooth motion.

Karkat turned his head. “What the fuck is with you today?”

Dave turned his head to look back at Karkat, and lifted a slender finger to his lips. “We’re hiding,”

“On the floor?”

“Yeah,” Dave answered and patted Karkat on the shoulder. “On the floor.”

And so, they lay there. It was unbelievably uncomfortable, Karkat decided. Dave’s hand on his chest, pressing him against the floor, was heavy and  for some reason Karkat found it a bit hard to breathe. The floor was hard, and just the fact that he had to lie there and  _ listen  _ to  _ Dave breathing _ was enough to get his blood boiling. This was definitely not a situation that he had wanted to get into when he woke up in the morning. 

John had stood up from the sofa, pacing in front of the door in nervous anticipation. Then,  _ ‘bzzzzzzzz’ _ , and John ripped the door open.

“Hello!” John’s voice came from the living-room, coming out as a shrill, cracked squeak.

“What, are you doing?” Vriska asked from the door, sounding a bit questioning.

“Nothing!”

Then, a tumbling onto the floor, and an angry voice: “Fuck!”

Scrambling bodies, the sound of two people hastily getting onto their feet. “Happy birthday ,Vriska!”

“That’s the worst birthday surprise ever, Pyrope.”

“Oh, piss off,” Dave called from where he was lying flat on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And I hope all of you have a good summer!


	8. La Komencaĉo de la Komencaĉjo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The festivities continue. Or as festive it can get when you're kind of a grumpy asshole and you're being stalked by a, well, asshole-asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Approximate) Chapter title meaning: "The Horrible Beginning of the Endearing Male Beginning"
> 
> I know that translation sounds weird in English, but it works like this: Esperanto is built up of affixes, and in this chapter title I've used two suffixes to change the meaning of the word "komenco" ("a beginning"). The suffixes that I have used are "-aĉo" (something horrible, of bad quality) and "-aĉjo" (an endearing term for a man, for example the difference in "dad" vs. "daddy" (no, not sexually) - or, "patro" vs. "paĉjo"). So it's a fun little word play that I hope is grammatically correct. I hope this made sense.
> 
> Well, with that out of the way... I'm back! Hi! I hope everyone has been doing good, I know I have. Anyway, I hope this chapter holds some quality, and maybe after this I'll be able to progress the story into more positive waters! Enjoy!

So this really was how his day was going. That was fine, totally fine. Karkat shot a quick glance towards Kanaya where she was standing a few metres away, leaning against the wall, watching Rose and nervously fidgeting with the plastic straw put in her soft drink. At least he was feeling better than her.

He closed his eyes and exhaled, breathed in once through his nose, and opened his eyes again. Vriska was currently play-punching John in the shoulder and Rose was stood holding what seemed to be a lecture, once in a while shooting Kanaya a nervous glance, as though waiting for a reaction. It really was adorable how much they liked each other. But even more frustrating that they refused to admit it. He tried to tune back into the conversation.

“-Yeah, come on, John! Why do you have to be such a pussy all the time?” John laughed nervously in response, but it was impossible to miss his affectionate tone. Vriska continued: “It will be totally worth it, with  _ me  _ as your guide you might even  _ almost  _ get on  _ my  _ level!” She put a weird sort of accent on some words, Karkat noted, dragging them out. Especially the ones about herself.

“Vriska, have you ever even been to a climbing centre?” Rose interrupted.

Vriska stopped what she was doing - which was trying to tickle John under the collar of his shirt while he suppressed giggles and tried to push her hand away - and turned around to look at Rose. “What?”

“Have you ever even been to a climbing centre?” Rose repeated.

Vriska’s face went completely blank for a fraction of a second, but then she lifted her chin and scoffed. A winning smile crept onto her face. “Of  _ course _ I have, Lalonde. Haven’t you?” She threw her hair a bit, hitting John in the face.

“I have not,” Rose answered flatly.

“ _ Yeah _ ,” Vriska continued and threw her hair back again. “That’s what I thought. And even if  _ I  _  had  _ not _ been to a climbing centre,  _ I _ would still have  _ crushed  _ it.”

This girl really was so full of herself. Karkat was in no way surprised that she and Dave were close. That John had deliberately chosen to date her however, that made him question if he had really judged John’s character correctly.

“Incredible, Vriska, I am so, so impressed.”

Vriska gave Rose a look. “Shut up.”

The group was quiet for a moment, just awkwardly staring into the empty space between them. Karkat began to sweat.

Then,  _ thankfully _ , Rose seemed to decide to break the silence. Not as thankfully, she turned to Karkat. “So how come you and John know each other?” she asked, and then shot a glance across the room to where Dave was standing, talking to some guy in what looked like heavy makeup, balloon pants, and a purple tie-dye T-shirt. Karkat thought he had never seen a human-being look so out of it. But he seemed familiar, somehow. Dave broke out into loud laughter. “...And my brother, for that matter,” she continued dryly.

“Uh…” Karkat began, but immediately lost his train of thought when Dave’s laughter once again erupted in the apartment.

“I’m in his club!” John interposed helpfully, seeming to have wrestled Vriska to a halt and was now holding her hand to keep it from attacking him.

_ Could have fooled me _ , Karkat thought bitterly.

“ _ Club? _ ” Vriska asked, her interest apparently piqued. Her face widened into a mischievous grin. “What  _ club _ ?”

Karkat turned his eyes to Vriska’s face to really study her. To see what kind of person she really seemed to be. He couldn’t say that he had a history of judging people correctly - often expecting the worst - but he knew he often had more luck than not when listening to his gut.

She looked like an animal of prey.

He nervously lowered his gaze, deciding to break the eye contact and instead stare down into his drink. “Nothing.”

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Karkat!” John exclaimed. He turned to his girlfriend. “It’s a language club for Esperanto. I have learned a lot!”

“Yes, I must interpose on this subject. My brother has spoken of the matter quite frequently,” Rose added. A barely visible blush crept onto her otherwise nearly white cheeks. “I believe Kanaya is a member too.”

“Esperanto, huh?” Vriska ignored Rose and instead threw with her hair again, barely missing John’s face. If she had not acted so conceitedly, Karkat might have thought it was a nervous tic. “I have heard of that. Even know a bit  _ myself _ .”

“Do you really?” Rose asked with a disbelieving tone.

Vriska glared at her. “Yeah, Rose, I do. Or should I say:  _ Jes, Rus, mi scipovas.’ _ ” She crossed her arms and blew a few strings of black hair out of her face.

Karkat was dumbfounded. Rose seemed to be too. She opened her mouth once, but then slowly closed it again, throwing a nervous eye towards Kanaya. Slowly, Karkat’s brain caught up with him. He spluttered out: “You are- I mean you can-”

But he never got the chance to finish his stammering question, as he was interrupted by the sound of the apartment door opening with a creak, and slamming shut at the same volume. In the doorway stood a young man, seemingly around their age. He was skinny and of average height, but his propped up, stylised hair added a few extra inches. And so did his high heels. He pushed his glasses further up on his nose and looked out over the room with his chin raised as though he fancied himself to be royalty.

Vriska scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Not one secon- Okay,  _ I _ have to take care of  _ this tool _ .” She rolled up her shirt sleeves and firmly stomped off in the direction of the newly arrived young man. Standing behind, left mid-question, Karkat could hear her loud voice: “ _ I _ have told you a thousand, and a thousand times more that you can’t follow  _ me _ around like this, Ampora. We’re finished!” She spat out the last words, and continued her angry rant in a more hushed, but still rather aggressive, tone. The guy looked genuinely hurt.

John, Rose, and Karkat once again stood in an awkward circle, the silence draping them like a heavy, all-suffocating blanket. At least Karkat thought it was awkward, maybe the other two didn’t, since they already knew each other. But they didn’t seem to care for smalltalk - or as Karkat would have prefered to call it:  _ ‘Saving Karkat from one of the worst social situations possible and the anxiety thereof’ _ \- as the two of them stood and curiously watched the scene playing out at the door. The guy wearing the glasses and a purple swirl of hair had blown up his chest and was seeming to be trying to intimidate Vriska. Vriska was doing the same.

Karkat felt like the world was closing in on him. He  _ truly  _ hated parties, he did. Especially this party, he decided. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and he felt how the palms of his hands were beginning to feel a bit damp. He awkwardly dried them off on his pants.

At this point, he’d accept anything to save him from this torment.

The second Karkat finished his thought of despair, a heavy weight was slung around his shoulder. Shocked, his breath hitched and a pathetic squeak escaped him.

“ _ Heeey, _ ” Dave’s voice drawled out from behind, apparently ignoring the fact that he had just a second before almost tackled Karkat when he had thrown himself onto him without any resemblance of a forewarning.

Karkat’s shoulders sagged even more.  _ It always really could get worse, couldn’t it? _ He tried to shake Dave off of him, but the other seemed to pretend like he didn’t notice. His arms really were firm. Karkat sighed. “What do you want, Strider?”

To Karkat’s dismay, Dave pulled him a bit closer, sarcastically pretending to be friendly. “I just thought you looked like you were a bit on your lonesome here, Karboy.”

Karkat’s blood rose to his head. He desperately looked up to call Kanaya’s attention to him, to warn her that his blood pressure might soon explode his veins, and that she really,  _ really _ should come to his rescue. But as fate would have it, Rose had already sauntered over to the wall, and was now quietly conversing with his friend. Just as Karkat looked up to catch her eye, she reached out and intertwined her fingers with Rose’s, and then lowered her gaze, smiling down at the floor.

He would have to fight this battle on his own.

He protested: “ _ Karboy _ ?”  _ Really? _ With an unusual name like his, silly nicknames had not been uncommon during his years. And he had hated every single one.

“Part car, part boy.”

“Please stop talking.”

Ignoring him, Dave slowly lowered his head onto Karkat’s shoulder, but quickly seemed to think other of it, and straightened up again.  _ Good. _ “So,” Dave began, fidgeting a bit on Karkat’s upper arm with the long, bony fingers of the arm that he had draped around Karkat’s shoulder. “Are we enjoying ourselves?”

John, who had turned back away from his girlfriend’s fight when Dave had gotten back, was beaming at Dave and Karkat. “Oh, hello, Dave!” he chippered.

“Why, hello there, John!” Dave chippered back, so obviously mocking him that Karkat couldn’t even imagine that John could have missed it. He couldn’t for his life understand why a nice guy like John was hanging around, and, God forbid, _living_ _with_ an asshole like Dave. “I had to swing by y’all’s little meet-and-greet over here, gotta keep up with my best friend Karkat.” He pressed his cheek against Karkat’s, as though they were old friends, finally reunited, taking a selfie to capture and eternalise the moment. Karkat didn’t even care enough to resist anymore.

“He’s pretty hard to stay away from, isn’t he?” John laughed, apparently actually thinking that that was a compliment.

“Yeah, especially with his strong minaret-strength vocal chords,” Dave agreed. None of the boys seemed to take any actual notice of Karkat himself, probably used to talking for hours on their own in this very apartment.

“I’m  _ right here _ !” Karkat exploded, not able to contain his frustration anymore, looking up at the two taller boys, pissed off. Dave withdrew his arms a few centimetres.

“Sorry,” John mumbled. Then, thanks to Karkat’s outburst, the heavy, awkward silence came back. Karkat squirmed, which at the very least made Dave lower his arm and let it slump off of the short boys shoulder, instead resting over his back.

John was the first who decided to break the silence. “Who’s that?” He lifted his arm and pointed towards the face-painted guy with wild hair that Karkat had seen before, and who he thought that he recognised from somewhere. Now he  also noticed that he was in a garb that almost looked like a kind of underground subculture he had once read about in some obscure corner of the Internet.

Dave answered: “Oh, that’s just Gamzee.”

John looked like he was out of his depth. “Gamzee?”

Dave scoffed, and, seemingly unaware, pulled Karkat a bit closer as he did so. “How can you not know Gamzee? He’s the dopest kid on the block.” And when he saw that John wasn’t following, he added: “He’s high as a motherfucker and it’s hilarious.”

John pursed his lips. “Ah,” he said, still looking at the guy called Gamzee, who was currently trying to rummage through the fridge for another bottle of whipped cream as stealthily as he could. Which wasn’t very stealthily at all.

“Yeah, totally amazing,” Dave mumbled. “If it was legal, I’d spend every living second with the dude.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” Karkat snapped angrily.

Dave looked down at him, and Karkat found himself feeling oddly uncomfortable having to look into the other’s face. In it was an emotion that Karkat couldn’t for his life recognise, but he knew he wanted it to go away. A heavy lump formed in his stomach. Then Dave blinked, and the moment was gone.

“I think I need to go talk to him,” John then announced, and with his eyebrows knitted together in a mildly disconcerted manner, it was quite obvious that he didn’t at all look forward to ushering a stranger out of his home.

Over and over again, Karkat had to rethink his opinion on what John was really like. He had always seemed nice, helpful, kindhearted, and personally invested in everyone he met, but on the other hand there simply had to be something underneath that Karkat had missed, otherwise he wouldn’t spend so much time with Dave. Karkat was certain of it. He’d just have to wait and see, as a person could only hide their true colours for so long.

Left alone, Karkat finally was able to shake Dave’s arm off of him. He was surprised at how quickly Dave was willing to let go, considering what an iron-grip he had held around the smaller boy for the better part of ten minutes. Quickly, he shot out from Dave’s shadow and took a stance at a safe distance of a few feet away.

“What is your  _ fucking  _ problem, Dave?”

Dave’s head snapped up to lock eyes with Karkat, and again, like many other times before, Karkat cursed those sunglasses of his. His face was unreadable: A straight line of a mouth, eyes completely covered, and every muscle in his face relaxed. But he was standing with his arms slumped down his sides, and Karkat couldn’t miss sensing something exhausted radiating off of the way that he was holding himself.

Dave didn’t seem to want to answer, though, and he kept his mouth shut. Maybe he had enough brains to realise that it was a lost cause, that he had crossed too many lines, burned too many bridges, and that it was high time for him to scurry off and find someone else to bully, Karkat thought. For some reason, this made him even more angry. Karkat could not understand it, but that moment of silence evoked more feelings than he had experienced in a very long time.

But just like that, it had passed.

“I don’t-” Dave began, but was interrupted as the door to the apartment once again slammed open, much harder this time, and it banged against the wall. Dave almost flinched to look up at whatever - or more likely, whoever - had made the loud sound, and Karkat’s eyes quickly followed suit.

In the doorway stood the tall, lean, and gaze-attracting guy who Dave had had lunch with that very first time he and Karkat had met. The other blond with even worse taste in fashion than Dave, with such gelled-up hair that it would in no way surprise Karkat if it was possible to break it off. The probably-brother. Even though he in many ways were close to an exact copy of what the Strider who Karkat (tragically) knew, Karkat couldn’t ignore that he appeared to be the exact opposite of what, and who, Dave was. The way he stood; stoic, tense, as though he was waiting for something, and the way he didn’t have the same blank stare as Dave, but more of an emotion that could only be described as despairing determination. While one of the Striders seemed to be completely devoid of emotion, the other was buzzing with it.

In a flash, the guy - who had somehow attracted nearly every pair of eyes in the apartment during his few seconds of visit - left the doorway, almost flying in their direction. Karkat had to admit to himself that he must have worse eyesight than he until that moment had thought, because the guy had not even moved, but then Dave was suddenly almost tackled to the floor. Karkat stood stunned as the biggest prime example of macho culture unfolded in front of him.

“Hey, bro,” the brother huffed, a muscular arm weighing down Dave’s in comparison weak shoulders.

Dave laughed weakly, appearing to have gotten the air knocked out of him. “Thought you weren’t gonna show.”

The bigger Strider ruffled Dave’s hair affectionately, in an odd, violent way, testosterone basically oozing out into the room, and laughed a light laugh. “‘Course I was gonna come, I-” But then he interrupted himself, raising his gaze to where Karkat was standing, mentally immobilised by seeing the manliest display of fraternity he could imagine. He really felt embarrassed about having to see the two boys act like such buffoons.

“So this is him?”

For the first time since they had met, Dave looked embarrassed. “Dirk, I don’t know if what you said was-”

Dave’s brother - apparently called Dirk - waved his protests away with his hand. “I get it. Trust me, it works.”

Karkat’s eyes switched from Strider to Strider. Dirk’s face was simply set into a knowing smirk, keeping eye contact with Dave, as though they were having a silent conversation that only they could hear. Dave himself didn’t look as certain, but his line of a mouth was hard to read. Karkat was starting to suspect whose influence it was that had played a role in how Dave, well, was as a person.

After Dirk’s arrival, things pretty much went back to normal. People went around talking to friends, a few beers were cracked open, and John proudly displayed the cake he had made. He also slipped a tiny piece of paper onto Vriska’s plate - with a faint blush to his ears - which Vriska quickly pocketed. She then proceeded to ignore Terezi’s inquiries about what it had said by aggressively stuffing her mouth full with cake.

After Dave had gotten busy talking to Dirk, he had left Karkat alone for the rest of the evening. Dirk, Dave, and Rose had instead huddled together with John and Vriska on the couches, and Karkat could finally get some time to talk with Kanaya, just the two of them.

“Are you having fun?”

Karkat glared at her. “Does it  _ look  _ like I’m having fun?”

“A little bit, yes.”

He humphed and grumpily crossed his arms. “Well, I’m not.”

“So you do not think that it is fun to finally get out of your apartment and converse with people other than me?”

“Fuck no.”

Kanaya smiled at him fondly - which frankly pissed him off - and crossed her arms. “Well, I am flattered. But I do not believe that you are being perfectly honest with yourself right now, Karkat.”

Karkat didn’t answer, and instead turned to watch what Dave and the others were doing on the couches. John and Vriska were leaning on each other while observing the others, Rose was doing the same with an understanding smile on her face, and Dave and Dirk were engaged in what looked like a sitting-down fistfight. Frustrated, Karkat turned back to Kanaya:

“I just don’t understand why he insists on being such a fucking shithead all the time!”

Kanaya sighed. “Me neither, Karkat.”

“Is his sister nice to you?” he asked. The thought had just hit him, that if Dave, and also his brother Dirk, were such big-time assholes, then what stopped Rose from being the same way?

To his relief, Kanaya blushed down at the floor and turned to wistfully, but bashfully, look towards Rose. Rose caught her eye and waved at her. Kanaya smiled.

“She really is.”

“Well, good for you. I’m glad at least one of us has any luck with their love life!” he sneered.

Kanaya raised an eyebrow. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Karkat didn’t know. His brain had made a leap that he had not consented to, and he decided that he had simply been hit by a streak of brain death. “Nothing.”

They stood in silence for a few minutes. The evening had been full of silences like it, but it was different with Kanaya. It wasn’t tense or awkward, rather the opposite. Ever since they had become friends so many years ago, he had always just found a sort of safety and reassurance in her company. She had told him that she got that quite a lot. He swirled the drink in his glass around, and sighed.

“That’s enough. I’m going home.”

“Home?” Kanaya asked.

“Yeah, I’m tired. Some of these people are cholera on legs and I’m getting hungry.”

Kanaya looked at him for a long time, but then she nodded. “Yes, okay. But you should tell the host that you are leaving. It is still quite early.”

At that point, Karkat felt like he’d rather die, but when he saw Kanaya’s face, he complied.

“I’m going home now,” he said, nodding slightly to John after walking up to the bunch surrounding the host of the party. He then immediately turned around to leave, but Kanaya sternly nudged him with a sharp elbow.  _ Fine. _ “I had a lot of fun,” he added. He tried to pull his mouth up into a smile, but he could feel that it really wasn’t working.

John looked a bit disappointed. “Oh, alright. Well, see you later then, Karkat!”

Dirk had stopped wrestling Dave and spun around. “You’re leaving already?”

Karkat stopped.  _ What? _ “Yeah, what about it?”

“Nothing in particular,” the older Strider replied, almost dragging out the last ‘R’. “But if you’re leaving, Dave should drive you. I fucking want soda, and I can’t drive my car right now.”

Dave sighed. “Dirk, I-”

“Trust me, bro.” Dirk gave him a telling look, and then turned to Karkat. “He really wants to give you a ride,” he said, but then paused for a second. “If you know what I mean.”

Karkat stared at him. Then he stared at Dave. Then Rose slapped Dirk at the back of his head, and he burst out into a chuckle. Then it all dawned on him.  _ God fucking dammit. _ Fucking everything was a joke to this family, wasn’t it? He made a full-on turn-around and made a beeline for the door. It slammed shut behind him, but he just angrily continued to huff down the street.

He had only gotten a few yards when the door was opened behind him, but he didn’t bother to turn around to look. At this point he didn’t care, and his loud, angry breathing and mumbled swears drowned out the sound of the door slowly clicking shut behind him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic, Dirk is a kind of weird fanon amalgamation freak of Bro and Hal. And I hate it. Though I guess that’s my artistic freedom, as they’re all fucking bullies for whatever reason. I wonder how that happened… Fuck it, thanks for reading, guys!
> 
> So, anyway, hopefully I'll get to update a little bit more often now, but I'm still busy with getting my driver's license! If everything goes according to keikaku, I will have it by the 27th of July though! So uhm, wish me luck, and I hope you want to continue to read this story!


	9. Niaj Retejoj kaj Pensoj

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will they all do when they get home from the party? Well, (as the teens are known to do) go online of course! Here are a few excerpts from their online time (and Karkat has a lot to process).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: "Our Websites and Thoughts"
> 
> Oh, here we are again! Man, it's been a while! I hope y'all have been good (I know I have). I got my driver's license! I'm a free man now. But hey, this took a pretty damn long while to update because I got side-tracked with other projects but then! I got a really nice comment like 2 days ago and then I remembered so thanks for that!
> 
> (Esperanto translation in the Notes at the end. Also sorry, I know it's a lot but pasting the translation in the chapter didn't work well with the format in my opinion!)

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **23 HOURS AGO posted to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**CG: DO, MIA GRANDEGA AMIKINO DIRIS AL MI, KE MI DEVUS PROVI PAROLU KUN ALIAJ HOMOJ. SED LA PROBLEMO ESTAS, KE ĈIALAJ ESTAS FOKAJ IDIOTAJ. MI PROVIS POR ŜI, SED MI NE SCIAS SE** **ĜI FUNKCIOS.**

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **2 MINUTES AGO posted to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**CG: PRI MIAJ LASTAJ RETVORTOJ, LA PLEJ GRANDA PROBLEMO POR MI ESTAS KE LA ULO KIU MI PAROLIS PRI ANTA** **Ŭ** **E** **ĈI-TIAM ESTAS AĈA. LI DETRUIS LA KONCEPTON DE AMIKECO. LI AĈAS KAJ MI MALAMAS LIN!**

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **1 MINUTE AGO posted to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**CG: SED TIU ULO, LI NE ESTAS NUR A** **ĈA. LI ESTAS KONFUZANTA ANKERAŬ. KAJ IEL, *TIO* ESTAS MIA PLEJ GRANDEGA PROBLEMO KUN LI. NE KE LI SEKVAS MIN. NE KE** **LI NOMAS MIN PUTRAJ NOMOJ. NE KE LI UMAS KUN LIAJ E** **Ĉ** **PLI MALAFABLACAJ AMIKOJN KAJ FAMILIANOJ** **Ĉ** **IAM.**

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **RIGHT NOW posted to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**CG: MIA** **Ĉ** **EFA FITEMO KUN LI, ESTAS KE MI NE POVAS KOMPRENI LIN. NE GRAVAS KION MI PENSAS PRI LI, LI FARTAS LA MALO** **Ĉ** **IAM. FOKA IEL, *LA MALO* ESTAS** **Ĉ** **IAM LA PLEJ FIA, A** **Ĉ** **EGA AKTO KE LI POVAS IMAGI.**

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **RIGHT NOW posted to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**CG: SED MALGRA** **Ŭ** **TIO, IAM, LI** **Ŝ** **AJNAS HAVI ALIAN FLANKON. KACO, LI KONFUZAS MIN TIEL MULTE…**

 

* * *

 

**John Egbert** posted on **November 6**

**thanks for coming everyone! she won’t say it herself but** **Vriska Serket** **says thanks for all the gifts and the good company! if you dont see me its because me and dave are busy eating cake for a week hehehe**

 

 **Dave Strider** commented on **November 6**

**what you talking about the cake is smoke i blink for one fucking second and all thats lefts an empty plate and my amigo looking like hes some kinda foodie porn star**

**Rose Lalonde** commented on **November 6**

**This is why we can’t have nice things, Dave.**

 

 **Vriska Serket** , **Dirk Strider** , and **6** others liked this

  
  


**John Egbert** posted on **November 10** \- with  **Vriska Serket**

**In a relationship with** **Vriska Serket**

 

**Roxy Lalonde** commented on  **November 28**

**u have bean tgther 4 sex months already lel**

**John Egbert** commented on  **November 28**

**nothing is official until it’s on line, roxy**

**Vriska Serket** commented on  **November 30**

**Take this down, John. You’re embarrassing yourself but more importantly me……..**

 

 **Nepeta Leijon** , **Roxy Lalonde** , and **2** others liked this

  
  


**Dirk Strider** posted on  **December 10**

**Does anyone know Vantas’ trollhandle?**

**We’re planning Christmas, get ready.**

 

 **Dirk Strider** commented on **December 10**

**@** **Dave Strider**

 

 **Vriska Serket** and **Jake English** liked this

 

* * *

 

“Hey, bro.”

Dirk didn’t answer. Dave’s older brother lay flabbily sprawled out on the couch. Dirk had a habit of indulging in the finer pleasures in life, and had therefore one year earlier explained to Dave - in great detail - the reasons as to why he deserved a five thousand dollar leather couch. And so now, he had a couch worth more than anything else in the apartment. At least Dave hoped it was. He didn’t even want to think of all the impulse purchases Dirk could have made after he had moved in with John and left his brother to his own devices.

“Dirk.”

Dirk didn’t want to live simple. He didn’t want to just survive and let the days pass by. Something in his life had put him on a psychological road leading away from the moderate, and he was now of the firm belief that anything that came in his way should be his, that he deserved everything for all that he had gone through.

“Hm?” Dirk finally lifted his eyes from his mobile screen, on which he had been exchanging orange and blue text bubbles for well over an hour already. Dave knew what he was doing. There were only three things that Dirk Strider enjoyed; expenses, fighting, and leather. Dave let out an exasperated sigh.

“What is it?” Dirk inquired, uninterested, and stretched his neck from side to side, making it pop one or three times.

Dave put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and started to fiddle with some pocket lint. He cringed before speaking: “How did you and Jake get together?” He slowly felt how a hotness started to rise up his neck.

Dirk stared at him. “Jake and I?”

Dave looked away, inspecting the ceiling. “Yeah?” He wasn’t feeling so sure anymore.

Dirk sighed and stretched out on the couch, dropping his phone on the sofa table in the same motion. The phone buzzed and a notification popped up: ‘ _ Grindr: Augustine sent you a picture!’ _ “Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know-”

“You do know. Don’t play dumb. You aren’t dumb.”

Dave let his mouth hang open like a fish for a hot second before he continued. “I’m not sure your way is working.”

Dirk sat up, foundering a bit clumsily before finding his balance on the soft cushions. “What are you implying.” It wasn’t a question.

Dave didn’t answer. The apartment was completely silent for a few seconds, either two or thirty, before the Dirk grabbed his thin wrist and pulled him down onto the couch next to him. He wrapped one of his thick, rock-hard, chiseled arms around his younger brother’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Dave nodded in silence, even though Dirk couldn’t see it. Then they sat in silence, just staring at the wall, and listened to Dirk’s phone buzzing like an entire swarm of mosquitos and angry bees on the table, the notifications a known mating call of horny young men. They ignored it, which Dave appreciated. It wasn’t often they spent time together anymore.

“Has he seen you shirtless yet?” Dirk suddenly wondered.

Dave startled and turned a deep-red blush. “What? No!” He pushed Dirk in the side.

Dirk sighed and untangled himself from his younger brother, and once again plopped down onto his spot on the sofa. “Figures, then.”

 

* * *

 

 

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **480 HOURS AGO posted to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**CG: MIA** **Ĉ** **EFA FITEMO KUN LI, ESTAS KE MI NE POVAS KOMPRENI LIN. NE GRAVAS KION MI PENSAS PRI LI, LI FARTAS LA MALO** **Ĉ** **IAM. FOKA IEL, *LA MALO* ESTAS** **Ĉ** **IAM LA PLEJ FIA, A** **Ĉ** **EGA AKTO KE LI POVAS IMAGI.**

 

**transparentAnonymous [TA] RIGHT NOW replied to** **CG_EBUBBLES** **.**

**TA:** **eble li ne scias kiel agi car li ne scias kion li volas**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat's E-bubble posts in the beginning:  
> carcinoGeneticist [CG] 23 HOURS AGO posted to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> CG: SO, MY BEST FRIEND TOLD ME TO TRY TO SPEAK WITH OTHER PEOPLE. BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT EVERYONE ELSE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS. I TRIED FOR HER, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF IT WILL WORK.
> 
> carcinoGeneticist [CG] 2 MINUTES AGO posted to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> CG: ABOUT MY LAST POSTS, THE BIGGEST OF MY PROBLEMS IS THAT THE GUY WHO I TALKED ABOUT BEFORE IS AWFUL ALL THE TIME. HE HAS RUINED THE CONCEPT OF FRIENDSHIP. HE ACTS HORRIBLY AND I HATE HIM!
> 
> carcinoGeneticist [CG] 1 MINUTE AGO posted to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> CG: BUT THAT GUY, HE ISN’T JUST AWFUL. HE IS CONFUSING TOO. AND SOMEHOW *THAT* IS MY BIGGEST MAJOR PROBLEM WITH HIM. NOT THAT HE FOLLOWS ME. NOT THAT HE CALLS ME MEAN NAMES. NOT THAT HE HANGS OUT WITH HIS EVEN WORSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS ALL THE TIME.
> 
> carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> CG: MY BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH HIM IS THAT I CANNOT UNDERSTAND HIM. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I THINK ABOUT HIM, HE ALWAYS DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE. AND SOMEHOW *THE OPPOSITE* IS ALWAYS THE WORST, AWFUL ACTION THAT HE CAN COME UP WITH.
> 
> carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> CG: BUT DESPITE THAT, SOMETIMES HE SEEMS TO HAVE ANOTHER SIDE. FUCK, HE CONFUSES ME SO MUCH…
> 
> The exchange on Karkat's E-bubble at the end of the chapter:  
> carcinoGeneticist [CG] 480 HOURS AGO posted to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> CG: MY BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH HIM IS THAT I CANNOT UNDERSTAND HIM. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I THINK ABOUT HIM, HE ALWAYS DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE. AND SOMEHOW *THE OPPOSITE* IS ALWAYS THE WORST, AWFUL ACTION THAT HE CAN COME UP WITH.
> 
> transparentAnonymous [TA] RIGHT NOW replied to CG_EBUBBLES.  
> TA: maybe he doesnt know how to acting cause he doesnt know what he wants
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone! And for the support!


	10. Tiu Knabo Ne Fajne Fartas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave isn’t doing okay. And it is all because of one single boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: That Boy Isn’t Fine
> 
> Some happenings from Dave’s POV for the first time! Hope y’all enjoy.

“Are you avoiding me, brother?”

He startled. “What?”

Rose motioned to the empty seat next to her. “I was of the impression that we were to rub ankles during our weekly Freud lecture, per usual?”

Dave had been far off in thought, as he often found himself lately. He had even forgotten that his sister and he were in the same psychology base course together. Every Monday and Thursday they spent an hour and a half together, time that he always appreciated as he didn’t see her as often as he would like to anymore. But lately he just hadn’t had the energy to get into the usual bickering together with her.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” He walked around the row of seats and promptly plopped down next to his sister. “What do you want?” he said after a while.

“Oh, I don’t want anything. Do you  _ want  _ me to want something?” she answered smugly, and widened her eyes in faked wonder. It felt like she insinuated some kind of innuendo, but  he couldn’t quite place it. Instead he brought out his computer. “I’m tired,” he just said, and booted it up.

“Oh, you’re tired,” he heard Rose say next to him, putting another pencil in line on her desk.

He slammed his computer shut again and spun around. “Yeah. I’m tired.”

She met his gaze, steadfast and steeling, her two deep blue boring into his hidden brown. “Oh, so you  _ are  _ tired.” She put another pencil next to the other one, a rainbow going from purple to black. “And why is that?”

He felt blood rush to his face. “I-”

But he didn’t get any further, as just as he began to speak, the heavy, glass auditorium door loudly slammed shut. Never had Dave been so happy to see their professor - a bitter, old lady with a hot temper and no respect for human lives - walk down the stairs to the front of the class. He and Rose usually called her ‘Freud the Hag’ - ‘Fag’, for short - but now he could have called her ‘Fraud’ - ‘Freud the God’ - for releasing him from the hell of acknowledging his feelings before his demon of a sister pulled him too deep down for him to escape.

It wasn’t his best portmanteau, but to be fair, his brain hadn’t been so sharp in general lately.

“Don’t go to Dirk’s tonight. Come over and stay at Kanaya’s apartment with me instead,” Rose whispered in a hushed voice as Fraud banged her cane against the wooden lectern at the front to intimidate the students present into obedient attention, as usual.

Dave waved her whispers away with an annoyed hand, and instead turned forward to pretend to listen uncharacteristically hard to the lecture. A few seconds later he heard how Rose also turned in her seat.

He actually  _ was  _ pretty  _ damn _ tired, no matter what Rose thought. He wasn’t lying, he very rarely lied to Rose. There was something about her that made him unable to. But the reason behind his unwillingness to explain  _ why  _ he was tired would be much harder to be truthful about. Put simply, he hadn’t slept a lot the past couple of days. Or weeks. It depended on whether you considered five hours or three hours to be bad.

There were just so many thoughts he couldn’t get out of his head. Whenever he closed his eyes, his head became overfull with images of Dirk and Rose, and Vriska and John and Kanaya too. The few memories he had of Jake, and all the words Dirk had ever said about him. Dave didn’t know Jake, but he knew that he was ‘kind’, ‘naïve’, ‘tough’, ‘ungrateful’, ‘spoiled’, and ‘hot’. Some images also featured  _ other  _ people, and other  _ things  _ he had said and done to those people. Most of the pictures featured those memories, actually. He just didn’t want to think about them too much.

Then, suddenly all the students in the room started to rustle with their books and bags, and a few seats folded up against the backrests with loud thuds. Someone had already rushed up the stairs and left the door to slam shut behind them.

Dave felt Rose’s cold hand on his. “Do you want to grab some chicken?”

The cold skin-to-skin contact startled him awake from his daydreams, and he shook his head to wake up properly. He quickly scoped his computer and pencil down into the mess in his bag. Fraud loudly hobbled past with her cane up the stairs right next to them, swearing and wheezing.

“I’m busy.”

“You’re not busy.”

His cheeks grew hot and he turned to her. “How would you know?” he snapped.

“Dave-”

But he had already stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder, hurriedly stomping towards the door. If he was quick enough, he would get out fast enough to disappear into the crowd of the hallway before Rose could psychoanalyse him into eating chicken and talk about his feelings, or whatever it was she did. He had to get away, because usually, it worked.

 

The bathroom door slammed shut behind him. He heard a surprised yelp from inside one of the stalls, and then a muffled giggle. He sighed heavily, and his shoulders slumped down with the flow of air leaving his lungs. He walked over the dirty, green floor up to one of the sinks lining the longer wall to his right and washed his hands. Then, on an impulse, he lowered his face in under the stream of water and let it flow over him. He kept it there until it felt like his head was going to explode, and then quickly pulled himself up again, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath in front of the mirror. He looked at his reflection.

The mirror had a few white smudges, fingerprints, and water splash marks. In the bottom right corner there was a big, dried lipstick mark in red.

He didn’t recognise himself. The guy staring back at him seemed to be about his height and weight, and had a similar sense of fashion, but that was where the resemblance began and ended. The other one’s hair was dripping with water, running down his nose and lips, and slowly dripping off of his chin. The blond hair looked muddied and brown, and his skin was without red colours or signs of coursing blood. This other man looked a bit like a statue, except for the water and the heaving of his shoulders.

He wiped the water off of his face with the back of his arm. He turned to look at the bathroom door; grey, normal, and closed. Rose could eat her own lunch. He turned around on his heel and shuffled to the stalls, opening and closing a door, and finally locking it behind him.

He couldn’t bring himself to become one of those who ate their lunch locked in by themselves on a toilet lid. People only did that in movies. But no way in hell was he going to eat in the cafeteria. And he didn’t want to risk running into any of his friends. He couldn’t go out to eat either - he had seen Karkat eat at some of the restaurants before.

He sank down onto the lid, dropping his bag to the floor next to the base of the water closet as he did so.

_ What the hell... _

After a while, he wasn’t exactly sure how long, his stomach protested loudly to his refusal to swallow his pride. He sighed out through his nose and turned his eyes up to the ceiling. There was a dude with a huge boner drawn there. He wondered who had been determined enough to get it up there. Nevertheless, he could respect it.

His stomach growled.

He wondered if anyone had drawn anything more on the stall walls. After a few minutes of looking around, bending down to the floor to check behind the toilet, the realisation that his current actions were even more pathetic than eating on a toilet came over him. He opened his bag, feeling defeated.

_ Fuck. _

He unwrapped a sandwich that he had packed in the morning. He knew that he had planned to eat it right where he was currently sitting all along. He took a first bite. It didn’t taste like anything. He removed his shades and, leaning with his elbows on his knees, rubbed his eyes with his hands.

_ What the fuck was he even doing anymore? _

  
  


He laughed. “You’re the one who wanted to move in together.”

“Well, then you should stop referencing porn on all my Facebook posts!”

“That’s why you fell in love with me. Dude, don’t even deny it.”

“Did not!”

“Why else would you ask me to move in with you?”

“He’s got a point, you know,” Vriska said and leaned in to kiss her boyfriend, but just missed his mouth when he huffingly shooed her away.

“Why do you always take his side!” John exclaimed angrily. They had all been shouting and insulting each other with snarky remarks for the better part of an hour, but none of them were actually angry. That was what made it so much fun to hang out with John and Vriska. They had clicked since day one and no one ever questioned it.

Vriska pinched him in the side. “Happy?” She pulled her mouth up into a malicious and pointy grin and the damaged skin around her left eye wrinkled up.

“Oh my  _ god… _ ” John sighed and flung his head back over the sofa backrest. Vriska leaned into the nook of his neck.

Dave looked at them. Of course he  _ had _ been in love with John at one point or another. Who hadn’t? But there had never been any jealousy or drama, and seeing the two of them together now on the couch opposite of him, it made him happy that it had never been.

“What are you smiling about?” Vriska asked, and John lifted his head back up from behind the sofa, his face red with blood and his hair statically ruffled.

“Nothing,” he mumbled back. He looked to John. “Babe, go get us some shit from the kitchen. We’re hungry.”

John groaned but untangled himself from Vriska anyway. “What do you want?”

“Coffee,” Vriska said.

“Just some bolognese for me,” Dave smirked.

John groaned again, but walked away anyway. Vriska slapped him on the ass as he passed her.

They could hear him mutter under his breath as he disappeared behind the wall into the kitchen, picking out ingredients to cook them some lunch.

Dave sat with his arms stretched out on the backrest behind him, with his gaze set on the point where John had disappeared, with a subtle smile on his lips, when Vriska interrupted his thoughts: “So, what’s happening now?”

He startled and refocused his eyes back on his surroundings. “Huh?”

“You’re acting more distracted than a chicken in a fucking corn field, Strider. What if Dirk could see you now.”

Dave didn’t answer. He just stared at her. He  _ really  _ didn’t want to talk about it.

She squinted her eyes suspiciously, examining his face. “Ĉi-tio estas pri via eta amikaĉjo, ĉu ne?”

He froze. “What… What are you talking about?” He knew exactly what, or rather,  _ who _ , she was talking about.

“Get over yourself, Dave. Talk to me,” she paused, “or I’ll have to shake it out of you again.”

Well, he  _ definitely  _ didn’t want to go through  _ that  _ again. He inhaled. “You know Vantas.”

“The short guy, sure.”

“Yeah.” He was quiet for a second, but quickly pulled himself together to continue when he saw Vriska’s eye staring back at him. “He hates me.” He looked at her expectantly, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she just nodded.

He continued: “And I haven’t even done anything wrong! Since day one, he’s hated me. He doesn’t care what I do, he’s always just angry with me anyway. Can you believe I even went to  _ Dirk _ for advice? I liked a picture on his Facebook, and he blocked me!” He rolled his eyes behind his shades and fastened his gaze on the ceiling and exhaled. “It’s such bullshit.”

The room was quiet for a bit longer than what he’d liked, so he lowered his face again to check on Vriska. He got surprised to see his friend just sitting and staring at him, with a face that he couldn’t quite read, but that he was pretty sure he didn’t like. “What is it?”

She answered: “It is such bullshit, Dave.”

He threw out with his hands. “I know, that’s what I’m saying! How can Kanaya be so fucking chill when her brother is the prince of douchebaggery?”

“Kanaya and Karkat aren’t related.”

_ What? _ “They’re not?”

“You really don’t know anything about Vantas do you?” Vriska crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch with a scoff pursing her lips.

Dave stared at her.

“You’re bullying him. Take the facts or leave it, dude.”

“You did too-”

“Yeah, and I don’t give a fuck!” She laughed. “It was fun, so what? I’m not the one trying to get in his pants.”

“I’m not-”

“You are.”

When Dave met her gaze his lips curled up into a smile. “Yeah, okay, I am.”

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 23:51 --**

 

**TG: sup man**

**TG: thanks for letting a guy slide into your dms**

**CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT NOW!?**

**TG: its big d dude**

**CG: OH MY GOD.**

**CG: HOW DID YOU GET MY TROLLHANDLE?**

**TG: a bird**

**TG: or your mum**

**TG: jk it was a spider**

**CG: FUCK OFF. I GET ENOUGH OF YOUR PISS STAINED, DICK SUCKING FACE WHEN YOU STALK ME EVERY FUCKING DAY. I DON’T NEED YOUR SADISTIC ASS COCK DOWN MY THROAT EVERY MINUTE OF THE NIGHT TOO.**

**TG: woah dude**

**TG: i was gonna wait until marriage but i can come over when you need me to pronto no problemo**

**CG: FUUUUUUUCK.**

**CG: YOOOOOOU.**

 

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **blocked** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 01:40 --**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG] un** **blocked** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 01:40 --**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **blocked** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 01:41 --** ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation of what Vriska mumbled: "This is about your little (endearing male) friend, isn't it?"
> 
> Not the longest chapter, but I hope it turned out okay in the end! I’m just trying to back into the habit of writing it, haha… But thanks for staying!


	11. Afablu!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs to take Dave by the scruff of the neck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: Be nice!
> 
> Oof, it's been too long! But you know how it is, October being both goretober and fictober for me! (Not that I succeeded with those either, lmao).  
> Anyway! Hope you enjoy! (I have a little bit of an...announcement, at the end of the chapter. stay tuned...)

**\--** **arsenicCatnip [AC]** **began pestering** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 19:54 --**

 

**AC: :33 < *a worried lady stalks through the bush***

**AC: :33 < *she pounces upon her prey!***

**TG: oh shit**

**AC: :33 < meow meow, dave!**

**TG: hey nep hows it goin**

**AC: :33 < good! me and equius just finished cooking dinner!**

**AC :33 < hes not a furry good cook X33**

**AC: :33 < *ac remembers her furiend is furry sensitive* dont tell him i said that!**

**TG: you have my word**

**TG: we wouldnt wanna hurt zahhaks feelings**

**AC: :33 < no, hes too good!!**

**AC: :33 < *ac remembers she messaged tg…. for a mission!***

**TG: a mission?**

**AC: :33 < yesss! a mission**

**TG: what kinda mission**

**AC: :33 < to talk about tgs feelings!**

**TG: aw hell no**

**TG: did rose put you up to this**

**AC: :33 < *ac closes her lips beclaws she has promised not to say!***

**TG: it was rose wasnt it**

**TG: no way in hell are we doing this**

**AC: :33 < *ac puts her head on the side and wonders why tg doesnt want to talk about it***

**TG: there aint nothing to talk about thats why**

**TG: my sister should book an appointment at her own imaginary shrink clinic and sort out her delusions because theres nothing to sort out with me**

**AC: :33 < purrhaps its easier yiff we roleplay it!**

**AC: :33 < *ac puts her big floofy tail around tgs shoulders to make him f33l happier***

**AC: :33 < *ac nudges tgs shoulder with her nose to urge him to roleplay with her***

**TG: …**

**TG: *dave is thankful for the support***

**AC: :33 < *ac meows encouragingly and pawsks if tg needs any help***

**AC: :33 < *beclaws ac has heard tg is having purroblems in the boys department..***

**AC: :33 < *and ac knows a loooot about boy crushes!***

**TG: *dave is embarra actually fuck this**

**TG: who told you that**

**AC: :(( < *ac understands that tg is upset but she pawnly wants to help***

**AC: :33 < everyone is worried about you, dave**

**AC: :33 < me and equius havent s33n you in w33ks!! :((**

**AC: :33 < *and ac wants tg to know that she gets sad when her furiends are sad!***

**TG: its none of yalls business if im sad or not**

**TG: and what makes you think im having *boy troubles***

**AC: :33 < you know, its not furry hard yiff youre just yourself!**

**AC: :33 < youre furry cool, dave!**

**TG: that wouldve sounded more convincing if you didnt call me a furry**

**TG: no offence to you you keep rocking it**

**AC: :33 < blehh X33**

**AC: :33 < dave, have you ever talked to karkitty?**

**TG: karkitty?**

**TG: of course ive talked to him i practically LIVED at his place for a month**

**AC: X33 < without making fun of him, dumbass!**

**TG: what do you mean makin fun of**

**AC: :33 < *ac tries to not tell tg shes talked to karkitty because she purromised cg* i think he would like it if you two could just watch a movie or something sometime!**

**TG: wait you talked to karkat?**

**TG: did he say he wants to watch a movie?**

**AC: :33 < *ac tries not to blush beclaws tg is being furry cute about his crush***

**AC: :33 < not exactly :PP**

**AC: :33 < but he doesnt hate you, you know! he just doesnt like it when youre mean!**

**TG: im not mean**

**AC: :33 < yes, you are! he said you even call him names!**

**AC: :33 < and thats not furry nice**

**TG: well i dont try to be**

**AC: :33 < *ac thinks tg is being a dumbass again!***

**AC: :33 < its FURRY important to be nice, dave!**

**TG: …**

**TG: do you think he wants to watch a movie**

**AC: :33 < purrhaps!! <33 you should pawsk him, dave!!!!**

**TG: does he like movies**

**AC: duuuuuhhh X33**

**TG: what kind of movies**

**AC: mog, dave!**

**AC: romance movies, pawf claws!**

**TG: oh**

**AC: :33 < good luck, dave!**

**TG: oh**

**TG: thanks**

**AC: :33 < no purroblem oh my god!**

**AC: :33 < *ac needs to log off immediately to update her stories in her fanfiction journal!***

 

 **\--** **arsenicCatnip [AC]** **ceased trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 20:32 --**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...No lol, just kidding. The announcement is that I've written another chapter! And I'm publishing it when i've proofread it! Haha! So look forward to that, y'all! (I hope)  
>  Also I know I've been very slow on this one, so thanks so much for sticking around! Means the world to me, man... Also especially y'all commenting and leaving kudos! I die every single time, and then I'm reborn stronger and more powerful than ever before. But mostly happier and more encouraged! Thank you!


	12. Kion Li Havis Perdi?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps, for once, Dave will actually listen to his friends' advice and be nice. And perhaps, for once, Karkat will actually be chill enough to offer a second chance. Perhaps, for once, that could actually happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: What Did He Have to Lose?
> 
> So, second chapter witin 24 hours! Whoo!

“What about ‘Nicolas Cage’?”

“He’s sexy as fuck, and that’s really all there is to say on the matter.”

“Please stop talking.”  
Karkat pulled his book closer to himself over the table and rested it on his knees. He couldn’t _believe_ he wasn’t even able to _study_ in peace anymore! _‘The Governmental Public Library, Your Place for Study’_ his ass!

“Hey now, Karkles, don’t be like that now,” Dave said and leaned down onto the table on his elbows. “Whatcha reading there?” A smirk crept onto his lips as he waited.

“None of your business, Strider.”

“I’m just trying to get to know you, man.”

 _A bit too fucking late, idiot._ “Good fucking luck with that.”

It was quiet between them for a few minutes. Karkat intensely stared down at the page in his book ( _‘_ _Latin Dissertations and Disputations in the Early Modern Swedish Gymnasium. A Study of a Latin School Tradition c. 1620- c. 1820’_ by Axelius Hörstedt) to make a show of actively ignoring the other. After what felt like an eternity — the tense stress of the situation lying heavy over the table — he realised he hadn’t read a single word. Embarrassed, he quickly turned the page.

“Wanna see a movie sometime?”

Karkat startled and threw a quick glance at Dave from behind his book. He felt odd, equal parts thankful and annoyed; thankful for not having to pretend to be reading anymore, annoyed because it was Strider who had released him from it.

The other was sitting, still leaning on his elbows on the table, angled forward close towards Karkat. A small smile played over his lips, but it seemed rather faked. _No wonder._

“What?”

At Karkat’s words, Dave quickly withdrew and leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs and crossing his arms over his chest. If Karkat wasn’t mistaken, he trembled slightly. “Just wondered if you wanna do something together-” he blurted out, but had to stop as he tripped over the last words. “Together. Maybe, I don’t know.”

“What the fuck are you on about, Strider?” This behaviour was odd for Dave. Karkat had never heard him stammer before. Maybe he was getting sick. Karkat hoped he was, that would mean at least two days of being free of him. Maybe more.

Dave sighed and put his head in his hands, pulling his fingers down his face. “Nothing.”

Karkat blew a breath of hot air out of his nose to settle that the conversation was over, and, ignoring whatever it was Dave was doing on the table, he went back to his book. He returned to the previous page.

 

* * *

 

The day before, something curious had happened. Thankfully, Dave had stopped coming over to his apartment whenever he pleased, so Karkat had finally been able to stop staying over at Kanaya’s during the weekends. When Dave was at his place, he usually wasn’t that big of a bother, actually, and Karkat could easily handle him sleeping on the couch or playing on his phone for an afternoon. But a weekend wasn’t just an afternoon, it was two entire days and two entire nights. That, Karkat could not handle.

The day before, Karkat had gotten home late. Much later than what he had wanted. The campus outside had been close to dead silent, and everything except the nightly lit street lamps had been completely pitch black — give or take a couple students desperately pulling all-nighters in their computer-lit bedrooms.

He had stumbled his way up through the apartment house, tired from hours of studying and half an hour of fighting the librarian about closing hours, but when he had reached the door to his apartment, he had seen something that had been jammed into the mailbox shutter in his door. He had tried to reach it, but it had gotten unstuck and fallen in through the narrow opening. Which hadn’t been that big of a problem since, after all, it was _his_ apartment. But it was always frustrating to try to grab something only for it to fall out of your hands.

Quietly, he had unlocked the door, and pushed it open. After closing it, not even bothering to turn on the lights, he had dived down to pick up the paper that had fallen to the floor half a minute earlier.

He had felt extremely disappointed.

And extremely confused.

In his hand had been a slightly wrinkled-up movie flyer, an A5 big, and with a suspicious brown stain on it. He had recognised it immediately; it was a miniature copy of the promotional poster for _‘Knight and Day’_ , a Tom Cruise masterpiece. With the slight alteration being that the guns in Cameron Diaz’s and Tom Cruise’s hands had been drawn over with dicks, and a long tongue protruding out of Tom Cruise’s mouth was licking Diaz in the ear.

He hadn’t had the heart to throw it out.

 

* * *

 

 Considering Dave’s seemingly newly formed movie obsession, or more specifically, watching-a-movie-with-him obsession, Karkat now felt it safe to say that it had been Dave who had put that movie flyer in his mailbox. And now he felt rather angry with himself for having put it up on his refrigerator door. Still, he had no idea what Dave’s goal was. Because it was _definitely_ not to just watch a movie with him. No fucking way.

Well, now he couldn’t concentrate on studying anyway!

“Why the fuck were you at my place yesterday?” He hadn’t meant to sound so angry, the words had simply come out that way. He didn’t regret them though, not entirely. He steeled his eyes at Dave to see his reaction.

Dave had gone very still, and his shoulders looked tenser than what Karkat had seen on any person, ever. Dave’s face had long, white and red lines down the sides of it and over the cheeks, markings left from his fingers, and he had something Karkat could only explain as a blush rising on his neck.

“I have been where?” he stuttered out, faster than he had probably been able to think.

Now it was Karkat’s time to lean forward across the table. He didn’t feel like studying anymore, and he didn’t know why or how, but it felt like he, for once, had some kind of power over Dave. “At my house, yesterday night.”

The blush on Dave’s neck rose even more, before slowly subsiding to his normal beige, tan colour. “Oh, that.” To Karkat’s surprise, Dave leaned forward across the table, too. “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go see a movie with me.”

Karkat had experienced a very brief power trip, but every second he felt how his certainty rapidly declined. Dave’s lips once again being pulled up in a smirk was what finally put him down to Earth entirely. “Why?”

Dave changed position in his chair and put his cheek in his cupped hand, his cheek puffing up slightly at the pressure. It made him look much younger than usual, Karkat thought. “Nothing wrong with wanting to sit packed close together next to my best bro in a dark room for a couple hours, is there.”

That was an incredibly odd way to describe going to the movies. “You just want to watch a film?”

Dave smiled. “Yeah, _just_ that.”

“With me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would I want to go with _you_ , though?” Karkat asked, feeling malicious for no concrete reason. He couldn’t help but to grab at every chance to tease Dave that he got. After all, he didn’t get very many.

Dave was quiet for a second, and Karkat wasn’t sure if  he was actually trying to think of a reason for them to go or if he had actually accidentally struck a nerve. Then, Dave replied:

“I’m tall.”

 _What?_ “How the fuck is that relevant?” Was he just trying to rub it in his face that he was taller than him? IHe assumed it wouldn’t be out of character for Dave, who not only seemed to have an obsession with being an obnoxious asshole, but also with making moves reminding Karkat of his slight height; leaning on his shoulders and ruffling his hair, just to name a few examples.

Dave nodded wistfully, as though he thought he was actually spreading some kind of ancient wisdom. “I can reach around your shoulders when it gets too scary for you.”

 _What the fuck. Not where he’d thought that was going to go._ Karkat couldn’t control it, and soon he felt how blood began to rise up over his cheeks. Then, he saw the colour slowly rising in Dave’s face as well. “I thought you wanted to see ‘Knight and Day’.”

Dave made a pained grimage. “I just realised.”

They were quiet for a minute. And for once, Karkat was thankful for the small disturbances in the library; the guy hammering away at one of the library computer keyboards, the lady clearing her throat really loudly, the one dude with a really annoying cold. For once, they weren’t disturbances in his studies, but instead lifesavers in the awkward as fuck conversation that he had found himself in.

“So, do you wanna go see a movie?” Dave spoke up, looking at Karkat from behind his shades — although he was obviously preoccupied in thought, drumming with his fingers against the hard table surface.

 _Obviously not_ , Karkat was about to say, but stopped himself last second. Did he really have all that much to lose? Dave hadn’t actually been all that obnoxious during this conversation, and at least during the past couple of days, maybe even the whole week, he hadn’t insulted him even once. Maybe he could get something out of it, after all. He looked up at Dave’s pregnant face, but quickly turned his eyes away when he felt himself beginning to blush.

“Fine, but you’re paying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So y'all, hope you enjoyed that! And hopefully I'll update more frequently now. I actually do feel pretty motivated to write on this right now!
> 
> Though of course (as I believe it is for all writers), all of y'all's kudos and comments are what actually motivates me, and it means so, so much. At least three times, probably more, one of y'all leaving a comment has been what has reminded me to update the story! So it's really important to the process, actually. So big thanks for all the support so far!


	13. Mi Petas al Vi, Simple Respondu...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Organising an outing when one party is an idiot is close to impossible.  
> Also, Dave? Please go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: "I Beg of You, Please Just Answer"
> 
> I love idiots and insufferable pricks. moronsexual. Hope you do too.

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 16:17 --**

**TG: good evening sir my ever best mr vantas**

**TG: my deepest apologies for the intrusion on your late night meal but my noble reason is to ask for the delicious privilege of receiving your daughter karkats hand in chaperoneless activities if i may be so bold**

**CG: SHUT UP.**

**CG: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE EVERYTHING WEIRD.**

**TG: oh miss karkat! i didnt quite see you there its so pleasant to see you**

**TG: do you come here often**

**CG: STOP MAKING IT SOUND LIKE YOU’RE TAKING ME OUT.**

**TG: im not?**

**CG: ALSO YOUR GEORGIAN ENGLISH SUCKS. IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK LIKE THAT.**

**CG: NO!**

**TG: well thats anticlimactic**

**TG: im really not climaxing here right now karkat**

**TG: are you happy now**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 16:42 --**

 

 **\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 16:44 --**

**TG: no but for real when are we gonna see each other**

**CG: UH, WHAT MOVIE DO YOU WANT TO SEE?**

**CG: I HOPE YOU REALISE KNIGHT AND DAY HASN’T BEEN IN CINEMAS SINCE 2010.**

**TG: of course i knew that**

**TG: we can uh**

**TG: watch something else sexy**

**TG: whats the sexiest movie out right now**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 16:46 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 02:01 --**

**TG: okay ive been googling**

**TG: theres one with a big wet tongue and lots of sweaty men**

**TG: and one with my main man farrokh in spandex and also a lot of sweaty men**

**TG: im down for whatever**

**TG: im versatile**

**TG: prefer to follow someone else’s lead though**

**TG: sniff out your musk keep my snout to the ground**

**TG: no please ignore that**

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 02:07 --**

 

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **began trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 08:05 --**

**CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.**

**TG: oh youre awake**

**TG: good morning sunshine**

**CG: GOOD MORNING.**

**CG: BUT WHAT IN ALL THE GODDAMN HELL ARE YOU *TALKING* ABOUT, STRIDER?**

**TG: ive been sleeping on it and i think i wanna see the wet tongue movie**

**CG: WHAT FUCKING WET TONGUE MOVIE.**

**TG: venom**

**CG: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECTING ME TO WATCH MARVEL?**

**TG: dont tell me you dont like marvel man everyone likes marvel the same way they like that one uncle who always wears pressed pants**

**TG: and here i thought i knew you man**

**CG: I DON’T *DISLIKE* MARVEL.**

**TG: but?**

**CG: NOTHING.**

**TG: venom it is then the deal is settled**

**TG: lets spit and shake on it**

**CG: FINE.**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 08:25 --**

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 08:26 --**

 

* * *

 

 **\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 03:24 --**

**TG: its your favorite uncle in pressed pants again**

**TG: just here alone in bed**

**TG: surfing the deep deep web**

**TG: using my trusty friend google**

**TG: theres some good tickets open for 7 on friday**

**TG: does that work for you, honey?**

**TG: oops i booked them**

**TG: god karkat you need to show some initiative if you want to have a say in how things are run up in this bitch**

**TG: didnt think id have to be the dominant one in this relationship**

**TG: though i guess im the one wearing the pressed pants**

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 03:59 --**

 

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **began trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 09:47 --**

**CG: PLEASE STOP TALKING I CAN’T CONCENTRATE.**

**CG: YOU ALREADY BOOKED TICKETS? WHAT IF I CAN'T COME? WHAT WOULD YOU DO THEN, HUH?**

**CG: WHAT IF I’M BUSY?**

**TG: are you busy**

**CG: NO.**

**TG: well then**

**CG: DON’T FUCKING SASS ME, STRIDER.**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 09:54 --**

 

* * *

 

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **began trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 22:17 --**

**CG: THIS TIME PLEASE JUST ANSWER ME.**

**TG: grab the popcorn snatch the wigs**

**TG: we taking a one way trip to cinema paradiso**

**CG: WHY CAN’T YOU FOR ONCE TALK LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING?**

**CG: ARE WE MEETING TO SEE VENOM TOMORROW AT 7 PM SQUARE, OUTSIDE THE THEATRE?**

**TG: brb lemme ask if mr venom will be there real quick**

**CG: PLEASE, DAVE. GIVE ME A STRAIGHT FUCKING ANSWER.**

**TG: yes**

**TG: i can do that**

**TG: venom at 7 en punto**

**CG: YES OKAY**

**CG: *GOD*.**

**CG: *THANK YOU***

**TG: see you there karkles <3**

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 22:28 --**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **at 22:28 --**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that on that!  
> I haven't seen venom! Next chapter sure is gonna be interesting to write ha ha ha ha!
> 
> Hope that was enjoyable! Also, I read this one fic a few days back that I can't get out of my head and y'all should totally read it. It's called "ghost voices" by carnivorousBelvedere here on AO3. It's fantastic and I'm gonna reread it right the fuck now. See ya!


	14. Nervozeco Ekzistas Du kaj Du

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this a date? It probably isn't, is it? Yeah, it probably isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Approximate) Chapter title meaning: Nervosity Comes in Pairs
> 
> (Good) Shit's hitting the fan! Hope y'all'll enjoy it!

He leaned around the corner, stealing a quick glance of the street below.  _ So he’s already here. _

Karkat rested the side of his face against the cool facade of the house that he was hiding behind. Though he wouldn’t call it  _ hiding _ , exactly. He was just waiting for the right moment, preparing himself, deciding whether to bail last minute and run for it or not. Nothing off about that, was there? The wall’s rough stone surface scrubbed his cheek and, annoyed, he rubbed the crumble off of his skin with the back of his sweater sleeve.

So Dave was already there. Unless the other had teleported off the street during the few seconds when Karkat had looked another way, Dave was standing waiting outside the cinema. Exactly where they had agreed to meet.

Except that Karkat had been seven minutes early.

And Dave had been standing there even before Karkat had arrived, probably even longer.

From around his cover — the corner of two intricately designed walls of an older building — Karkat had been spying on Dave for the past couple of minutes. Though he wouldn’t call it  _ spying _ , exactly. Watching, observing,  _ weighing his options _ … That would be a better fit. But  _ fuck _ if that boy couldn’t stand the fuck still!

Just during those few minutes, Dave had taken out his phone, sent a text, put his phone down, bounced on his feet for a while, opened his phone again, put in some headphones, tapped his foot to a beat that only he could hear, but quickly removed the earbuds again. Put his phone back in his jeans pocket, wiped his hands on his legs. And then repeat.

Karkat felt agitated just  _ looking  _ at him.

Okay, it was time to grab the bull by the horns. Or whatever it was you said.

Karkat checked the time on his phone. 7:01 PM. Not late. Not even fashionably late. Just the normal difference between two different clocks. He pulled his hand through his hair a few times, and tried to brush the last dust that was left from the wall off the shoulder of his sweater. He tugged the hem of it further down, as it sometimes seemed to have a life of its own and regularly slipped too high up for his comfort.

He took the crucial step around the building.

He regretted it immediately, but still he took another step. And another. And then one more. He continued to take one step at a time, painfully aware of how ridiculous his forced gait must look, all the way until he was standing right next to Dave. Dave, who apparently was both blind, deaf, and dumb. And wearing headphones.

Karkat put a hand on Dave’s shoulder, just to alert him of his presence.“Hey,” he said. A distanced enough greeting.

Dave startled and quickly spun his head around. When his eyes fixed on Karkat, he let out a sudden, breathy laugh. “Oh. Hey, Kitkat, didn’t see you there,” he said. He laughed again.

Fucking weird.

Something seemed to be bothering Dave. Not that Karkat cared much about what it was, and he hoped to God that he wouldn’t have to listen to another one of Dave’s long monologues about some stupid bullshit conversation he’d had with his sister or with that Terezi girl. Now, in just the matter of seconds, Dave’s face flashed from red to white, but then quickly back to his natural hue. Before saying anything more, he quickly wiped his hands on his shirt and pulled his sunglasses out from where they were hanging in his collar to put them on.

He missed his face twice.

Karkat tried his hardest not to think about it. He truly didn’t care.

“So…” he began. “Waited long?” He knew that he had. Embarrassingly long.

Dave swallowed audibly, and the lump on his throat bobbed. “Nah, not really,” he answered, his words traced by that gross clicking sound of a dry tongue getting stuck against the roof of one’s mouth.

_ Okay. _ Then they were quiet. Karkat wasn’t even sure Dave noticed. He was acting quite odd, and it was making Karkat uncomfortable. Even though he wasn’t being obnoxious like usual, this was somehow worse.

_ ‘Everything okay?’ _ he wanted to ask, but Dave was quicker:

“I promise you’re gonna have a downright smashing time, Vantas.”

Karkat looked up at Dave. Suddenly he seemed much calmer, much more collected. Maybe Karkat had just taken him by surprise. Still, it was  _ odd _ .

“I better,” he grumbled, even though he wasn’t annoyed. It just came out that way, ‘was all, it was what felt natural for some reason.

Dave laughed again. “You will. Trust me, bro,” he said, and, after wiping his hands on his clothes one more time, threw his arm over Karkat’s shoulder. “Okay, let’s go get in on some ill tongue action!”

And there it was again. Of course. Everything was back to normal. Praise the lord, hallelujah.

Karkat tensed up at the physical contact, but when he realised Dave wasn’t planning on letting him go any time soon, he, to even his own surprise, slowly eased into it. Though he couldn’t help turning a bit red when he imagined what they must look like to other people, such a strange pairing.  _ ‘Awkward’  _ was the word he was looking for. Horribly, horribly  _ awkward _ .

What to him felt the most awkward, was the height difference. As Dave strode down the cobblestone street, Karkat could barely keep up. He was close to falling more than once, and if Dave hadn’t hold him so tightly, he definitely would have.

“Week been easy on you?” Dave asked suddenly. Karkat could feel how the other turned his face downwards to try to see his face for his answer, but instead just brushed against his hair with his nose. A shudder quickly travelled up along Karkat’s entire spine, and all the hairs on his body rose into the air. After that, Dave loosened his grip on him quite noticeably.

“Uhm,” Karkat began, quite taken aback by the whole situation. He couldn’t concentrate. He shook himself loose from Dave’s arm and took a step to the side to instead walk beside the other. “I guess?” He felt like the world was turning upside down, and he didn’t know the new script. “Or I mean,” he quickly continued, “it’s been fine. I spent a lot of time at Kanaya’s place. Maybe you noticed.” He pulled his sleeves over his hands and encapsulated them inside the fabric, now hiding all of his body but his face.

Dave hummed and hastily mirrored Karkat’s action and pushed his own hands ridiculously deep into the pockets of his jeans. Unless Karkat was mistaken, Dave sped up on his steps all the way till they reached the wide glass door of the cinema, and Karkat had to rush after to keep up with him. Once there, Dave threw the door open, and took one last, long step inside, almost forgetting to hold the door open for Karkat.

Karkat wasn’t a stranger to movies, and he wasn’t a stranger to the local movie theatre either. The low-energy lamps shone with their normal orange light, and the walls and floors were covered in red carpet. On the walls, TV screens flashed a wide array of price deals and movie trailers, gathering the other people in the lounge around them pointing to actors that they recognised and movies they wanted to see. All in all, Karkat really loved the cinema. Maybe he’d prefered to be there with somebody else, though.

“Dave-” Karkat began, trying to ask the other to slow down. He knew Dave wasn’t the most sympathetic and considerate person in the world, or the nicest or most respectful, or not mean and downright horrible, but he could at the very least not leave his ‘friend’ behind when  _ he  _ had been the one to drag him along to begin with.

Dave spun around on his heel, his rubber sole squeaking against the waxed floor, a wide, shit-eating grin on his face. “Welcome to la casa de mia, señor Vantás,” he said, grabbing hold of Karkat’s hand and bowing swiftly.

Karkat felt himself become weirdly flustered. “Dave, I don’t think that’s fucking how-”

Dave lifted his hand to put a finger to Karkat’s lips, but thought better of it and instead redirected the movement to remove and pocket his sunglasses.  _ Nice save. _ “Shut up,” he said. “I know Spanish, trust me. And I just wanted to introduce you to Cinema Paradiso properly.” He let go of Karkat and showed with his hands, his movements a bit too hastened to seem natural. “Karkat, Cinema. Cinema, Karkat. Now shake on it.”

“We’ve met,” Karkat bit off. This was ridiculous. “Dave, what’re you doing?” To be fair, it was barely even a question. Because he didn't care. This was what he should have expected from the other. Dave was a shit-eating maniac and he’d better not forget it again.

Dave froze, his lips still pulled up into that fake smile he always carried. Karkat didn’t understand why he was so insistent on keeping it up when it obviously didn’t match the real feelings that he was having. The seconds drew out, and Karkat became unbearably aware of how silent the room really was, despite all the voices coming from the other people.

“What?” Dave finally smiled, turning his head to the side as though he hadn’t heard Karkat’s words.

Karkat stared at him. He’d heard. “Nothing.” He looked around the room, shifting his weight. “Do you have the tickets?”

A blank expression crossed over Dave’s face, before he grinned again. That damned self-entitled, self-contented smile. “Sure, man. Got ‘em in my phone.” He pulled his phone up out of his pocket, for the hundredth time that hour, and wiggled it in front of Karkat as if to show him the tickets, even though it was turned off. When Karkat didn’t react, he slowed his hand down, his grin going tense before slowly faltering.

“You still want to go, right?” Dave asked suddenly, to Karkat’s surprise sounding a bit uncertain. Karkat didn’t get it, why Dave’s moods never seemed to be consistent. Spending time with him was rather jarring, not only because he went from obnoxiously happy to anxious in the matter of seconds, but because one of his moods was ‘how rude can I be to Karkat before he breaks my neck’, and Karkat never knew when that one was going to show its ugly face.

_ Did I ever? _ “Does it matter? We’re already fucking here.”

Dave didn’t respond to that. Karkat didn’t know exactly what the other was thinking, as his own eyes had gotten stuck on one of the TV screens. It was showing some man clad in black running through a building that was falling down behind him as he avoided fired bullets. It looked pretty bad.

“I’ve heard Venom’s pretty romantic,” Dave tried again.

Karkat looked back to him. “Marvel is never fucking romantic, they wouldn’t recognise romance even if it sat in their lap.”

Dave’s lips separated slightly, hanging open for way longer than what normal people would’ve deemed natural for when at a loss of words. Why even would he be? Dave always had some fucking smartass bullshit to spit in his direction.

“Let’s just shut the fuck up and get inside,” Karkat interrupted Dave’s sudden brain death.

 

Any minute now. Any fucking minute. Karkat could feel it in his fucking  _ core _ . Dave had made it  _ abundantly  _ clear to him that he would be subjected to some form of non-consensual touching during the film. He’d never felt so tense in his entire life. Every second in the packed theatre he expected an arm to slither its way around his shoulder, or a hand to slyly slide over his own. Every  _ goddamn _ second, he was waiting to  _ snap _ .

But nothing happened.

The screen in front of them was flashing, and occasionally growls and the sound of bullets filled the dark room. Most of the time, the other people in the theatre were quiet, discounting the occasional bursts of laughter. Karkat couldn’t join in, though. It wasn’t that it was a bad film, it was actually pretty good — believe it or not — but he just couldn’t relax enough when sitting so close to Dave to concentrate more than to just follow the plot of the movie. If he’d been a Marvel fan, he’d been  _ furious _ .

About forty minutes into the movie, he turned his head slightly just enough to be able to subtly glance at Dave. On second thought, maybe Karkat  _ would  _ be furious before leaving the theater after all, because the guy was wearing fucking sunglasses. Sunglasses!

Other than Dave’s crime against eyesight and decency, he really wasn’t doing anything obnoxious though. And just looking at him, his — in the flashing screen light — pale profile, slender frame, admittedly delicate features… Well, since he wasn’t speaking, it wasn’t so bad.

Karkat kept his eyes shifting between the projected film on the wall and Dave sitting next to him. A second of the rugged main character talking to himself, a second of Dave scratching his nose, a second of sweaty men firing their guns — Dave had been right after all, the movie really was full of sweating men — and then a second of Dave sitting perfectly still, lips pulled up in a half smile.

Then Dave’s eyes turned to meet his.

Karkat startled in his seat and hurriedly locked his eyes back on the movie screen again. The dark would hide his face. He hoped it would, because it felt impossibly hot.

But he’d seen it. In that short second, his and Dave’s eyes had met, and while that amused glint always was smouldering somewhere deep in Dave’s eyes, Karkat had seen something more. The same nervousness that he was feeling. What did Dave have to be nervous about? Deep down, Karkat probably knew, but the whole situation was too much to take in.

Instead, he just continued to stare right ahead, boring his eyes into the movements on the screen, without seeing anything.

Then, he felt hot breath against his ear: “Wanna grab something after this?” Dave’s low whisper made his voice tremble slightly at the end of his question, almost become inaudible.

Karkat turned around in his seat, just in time to miss the end of the alien slithering down the main character’s throat. His breath got stuck. Dave’s face was so close to his. “What?” he mouthed back.

“A dude’s starving, wanna grab something after this?” Dave’s eyes darted back and forth; to the screen, up in the air, Karkat’s eyes, his mouth, at the floor. It was as though his eyes were magnets trying to connect to a matching pole. He quickly licked his lips.

Karkat felt his neck grow hot. He turned back towards the movie, but had his eyes set on the backrest in the row in front of them. “I dunno,” he mumbled, the words coming out like they were more to himself than to Dave’s question. He kept his gaze forwards.

Quite a few seconds later, he heard Dave turn in his seat too.

For the sake of his nerves, the movie couldn’t end soon enough. But on the other hand, as soon as it did, he’d have to talk to Dave for real. And after this evening, he wasn’t so sure whether he’d be able to, although he didn’t know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *God*, this chapter was just writer's block after writer's block... But I pulled through, haha... I hope it came out alright in the end, and that y'all could find some enjoyment in it! Thank you for reading!


	15. Trankviliĝu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what Dave's up to, huh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: Calm Down
> 
> Seems like I can at the very least cram out pesterlog chapters through my writer's block. Hopefully the quality holds up!

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **began trolling** **grimAuxiliatrix [GA]** **at 21:56 --**

**CG: KANAYA.**

**CG: CODE RED.**

**CG: CODE FUCKING RED, KANAYA.**

**GA: I Do Not Remember Ever Creating A Secret Code System**

**CG: SHUT UP.**

**CG: THIS IS SERIOUS.**

**GA: I Apologize**

**CG: NO, IT’S OKAY. I’M SORRY.**

**GA: Did Something Happen**

**CG: DID SOMETHING HAPPEN???**

**CG: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT’S HAPPENING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.**

**CG: COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE FUCKING KARKAT IS LOCKED IN A BATHROOM CHANNEL PLUS.**

**GA: Why Are You Messaging Me Just To Tell Me That You Have Gone To The Bathroom**

**CG: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, MARYAM.**

**CG: ARE YOU TAKING A PISS?**

**GA: Are You**

**CG: NO!**

**CG: I’M HIDING FROM STRIDER.**

**GA: Did He Break Into Your Apartment Again**

**GA: You Need To Call To Inform The Police**

**CG: HE NEVER ACTUALLY BROKE INTO MY APARTMENT. HE JUST KIND OF SHOWED UP AND I LET HIM IN.**

**GA: Interesting**

**CG: STOP THAT.**

**CG: YOU’VE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME WITH ROSE.**

**CG: BUT NO. HE’S NOT HERE. OR HE IS BUT I’M NOT.**

**CG: *GOD*. I MEANT THAT WE’RE AT THE MOVIES.**

**GA: Together**

**CG: YES?**

**GA: I Just Wanted To Make Certain That I Read It Right**

**GA: Why Are You On A Date With Dave**

**CG: IT’S NOT A DATE!**

**CG: OH GOD.**

**CG: IS IT A DATE?**

**GA: Maybe**

**GA: Excuse Me For A Moment I Will Ask Rose**

**CG: NO, DON’T DO THAT!**

**CG: KANAYA?**

**GA: She Laughed At Me**

**CG: OH  MY GOD, I WANT TO DIE.**

**GA: Do Not Say That**

**CG: I’M SORRY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY.**

**GA: I Am Glad**

**GA: If You Are Out With Dave Why Are You Messaging Me From The Theatre Bathroom**

**CG: ISN’T IT OBVIOUS?**

**GA: Not Exactly**

**CG: WELL.**

**CG: WOW, I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW.**

**CG: I JUST NEEDED TO BREATHE, I GUESS?**

**GA: Did He Do Something**

**GA: What Did He Do**

**CG: NO! NOTHING LIKE THAT.**

**CG: JESUS CHRIST.**

**CG: HE ACTUALLY… HE ACTUALLY HASN’T BEEN SO TERRIBLE TONIGHT.**

**GA: Then Why Are You In The Bathroom**

**CG: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, OKAY.**

**CG: THINGS JUST GOT KIND OF WEIRD DURING THE MOVIE.**

**GA: Weird**

**GA: Weird In What Way**

**CG: I DON’T KNOW IT JUST FELT WEIRD.**

**GA: I See**

**CG: STOP THAT.**

**GA: Sorry**

**GA: I Think That You Should Probably Go Back Out To Him**

**GA: There Is No Reason To Be Hiding In A Movie Theatre Bathroom If He Has Not Made You Uncomfortable In Any Way**

**GA: Has He**

**CG: NO.**

**CG: I SHOULD GO BACK, SHOULDN’T I?**

**GA: Yes I Believe You Should**

**GA: Take A Deep Breath Like We Use To Do It**

**CG: OKAY.**

**CG: THANK YOU, KANAYA.**

**GA: Always Karkat**

**\--** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **ceased trolling** **grimAuxiliatrix [GA]** **at 22:13 --**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! (Where the fuck is this going. I have a plan... A bit of a plan...)


	16. Ĉu Vi Volas Eniri?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rome wasn't built in one day, but Dave not making Karkat storm off in a rage for one entire night sure is a first stone. But the night isn't over yet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: Do You Want to Enter?
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone! Hope you enjoy this, and thank you for still being here! My writer's block is kicking my ass (especially this chapter, I even wrote an entire new multi-chapter Rose/Kanaya fic just to procrastinate) but I'm pushing this out, slowly and painfully (still like this fic though, dw). ...Which means that soon I'll have to do something Radical and *really* spice up this story so keep your pants on and hold tight onto your hat. Here we go.

Dave stared at the door to the bathroom, as if he was trying to open it with his mind and pull Karkat out again. This was  _ anguish _ . Karkat hadn’t climbed out of one of the windows, had he? They were on the second floor, but Dave wouldn’t put it beyond him.

Distressed, he bounced a little bit in his shoes and shook his hands in his pockets. He looked around the room; they probably weren’t going to show any more movies that day, so besides the red carpets, the snacks shop, and the yellow lights, there really wasn’t anything to see. He sighed and looked back to the door.

He had called Dirk before he left for the evening. He hadn’t talked to his brother all that much during the past couple of weeks, because for some reason, as of late, it always left a sour taste in his mouth.

Dirk had responded almost immediately:

_ ‘Hey, bro.’ _

“Hey.”

The line had been quiet for a moment before Dirk had picked up the thread again:  _ ‘Haven’t heard from you in a while.’ _ There had been something accusatory in his tone. Dave  _ hated  _ when he talked like that.

He hadn’t been able to help but feel guilty. “Yeah, sorry, bro. I been busy.”

He’d heard Dirk nod into the phone.  _ ‘Finally scored with that dude, huh?’ _

“What? No!” Dave had been alone in his room but had thrown out with his free hand anyway. He’d cleared his throat, subtly, lowering his voice. “No, I haven’t.”

The line had crackled with a sigh.  _ ‘Still haven’t? That explains a lot, man…’  _ Dirk had paused.  _ ‘If I can call you that.’ _

“I have to go,” Dave had said, quicker than he’d intended to, and hung up. The phone had emitted two shrill, empty beeps before the screen had gone black.

In hindsight, Dave wished he hadn’t been so quick to hang up on his brother. Even though he had felt awkward around Dirk lately, Dirk still knew best when it came to things like…  _ this _ . Dirk had a lot of experience — something he had never tried to hide from his younger brother — while Dave, to be completely honest with himself, did not.

Maybe he hadn’t handled the evening very well, after all. That closed bathroom door was hard, concrete proof of that. He didn’t know exactly what he had done wrong, but given enough time, he’d probably be able to think of at least five things. He tugged at his bottom lip with his upper teeth. If Karkat didn’t come back out from the bathroom in two minutes he’d call Rose and Kanaya to come pick him up.

Straining his mind to not freak the fuck out, he hardly noticed when the red bathroom door swung open and Karkat exited back out into the theatre foyer. 

“Hey.”

“ _ Fuck! _ Oh. Hello, Karkat.” Dave quickly pushed a hand through his hair. He scrambled to put on his shades before that treacherous blush crept back onto his face, only to realise he was already wearing them when he slammed the inside of his hand hard against the bridge of his nose.

Karkat just looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

“So...” Dave began, “wanna go?”

He watched Karkat in suspense. In that exact moment, he didn’t want anything more than for Karkat to agree to let him take him out, for just one dinner. But he also felt positive that he would in no way be able to handle that much time with the boy anyway.

Could anyone blame him, though? Karkat was gorgeous, and it took every fibre of self control stored in his being — which frankly weren’t all too many — to not reach out and  just for one second touch the other’s skin. Or hair. Or eyes or clothes or any part of him for that matter.

“Go where,” Karkat finally replied, and it clearly wasn’t an actual question.

Dave closed his mouth hard and looked Karkat in the eye. “I was thinking dinner, dinner for two. Nothing romantic, maybe a burger. I mean, unless you’re into that.”  _ God, shut up. _

“Oh,” Karkat said, and Dave could swear Karkat’s skin tinted just a little bit red. “I’d rather not.”

Dave couldn’t help but to feel disappointed, even let down in a way. His fingers itched to call or at least text Rose or Dirk. At this point, maybe even Vriska.

After a way too long pause, he replied: “That’s fine.”

“Is it?”

_ What? _ Dave looked down at Karkat — intensely ignoring the cleaning lady who was eyeing them annoyedly — but was surprised to see that he didn’t look angry. His brows were furrowed and his nose scrunched up, a face Dave was all too familiar with, but he didn’t look  _ murderous _ in the way that he usually did when Dave talked to him.

“What d’you mean?” he finally asked. It almost felt like Karkat was purposefully torturing him.

Karkat pushed a hand through his hair, consequently getting stuck in his curls and turned around to look at the door leading outside. “ _ God _ , nevermind. I don’t know.”

“Oh-kay.”

He wiped his hands on his pants.

“ _ Fuck.  _ Maybe we should just like, I don’t know, get moving?” Karkat finally said, piecing some kind of coherent sentence together.

Dave’s stomach dropped. He’d finally been able to get Karkat out of the house, just the two of them, alone, and now it was only minutes before it was over. What had he achieved?

 

It all felt much better once they got out into the fresh night air, it was easier to think clearly and ignore the thoughts that had built up in his head during the night. A still wind caught a string of Dave’s hair, and he could feel how his slowly building blush ebbed down in the cold. He stuffed his hands deep into his pockets; even though the situation wasn’t suffocating anymore, he still really needed to occupy them with something.

He turned to look at Karkat, who was standing just beside him. The other was so close, he could feel his body heat through the fabric of their jackets.

“So did you?” Dave asked. When Karkat didn’t reply, he remembered that the other most likely didn’t know what he was going on in his personal idiot bubble known as his brain. “You liked any of it at all?” he clarified.

Karkat crossed his arms and looked across the square. “I guess the movie wasn’t as bad as Marvel usually is.”

“Sweaty men never fails,” Dave commented, realising about halfway through the sentence that he was an idiot.

As expected, Karkat didn’t reply to that. After a few seconds — way more than needed to make Dave feel death upon him — he turned back to Dave again. His brow was furrowed, and his whole face was softly scrunched up in a thoughtful way that tugged at Dave’s heart.

“You coming?”

_ 404 Not Fucking Found. _ “What?”

Karkat looked away again, his face going on a journey from regret to resolution. “I was wondering if you’d want to follow me home. Though I guess you’ve never needed a fucking invitation before.”

Dave gaped. He felt like he was dying. “ _ What? _ ”

Karkat sighed and pushed a hand through his hair —  _ Please do that again _ — and locked eyes with Dave.

Dave swallowed.

“You’ve been fucking complaining about how hungry you are for the past approximately goddamn two hours. One of us will die if I don’t fucking  _ feed _ you at this point.”

One time, when Dave was very little, he had fallen ill. Very ill. It was before Aunt Roxy had convinced Dirk to enrol him in public school, so he didn’t know many other besides family. Aunt Roxy and Rose had come over to stay with him and Dirk during those two weeks when he had felt like he was honest to God dying. And to keep this flashback clean and professional; his bodily fluids had been everywhere and he had felt like he was almost literally burning up.

That was pretty much how his brain was currently feeling.

Karkat stared at him, and even though he knew he was standing there quiet like an absolute idiot, he couldn’t think of a single word in the English language.

“So are you coming, or not?” Karkat enunciated every word, as though he was speaking with someone very old, or someone not entirely intelligent.

Still in shock, not sure where all of his different limbs were, Dave finally replied through a heavy breath: “Yeah-”

Karkat had already started walking down the street, so Dave jogged to catch up with him, finding his tongue in the meantime. He matched his steps to the shorter boy’s. “Did I win, finally?”

Karkat didn’t look at him, but he snorted in response. “Is this a game to you?”

“What? No! No, that’s not what I said.”

“Fucking was.”

If Dave’s brain hadn’t gotten completely fried when Karkat invited him over, he was still making a good show of it. He put a hand up to his face and rubbed his forehead. He sighed exasperating.  _ He’d gotten one foot in, why was he like this? _

“It’s been a while, huh?” Karkat commented out into the evening air.

Dave turned. “Since what?”

Karkat’s eyes quickly met with Dave’s but then turned away again. “Since you started bullying me. The first time, I mean.”

“I didn’t fucking-”

“Didn’t fucking  _ what _ , Dave?”

Dave glanced at Karkat, but the other didn’t look mad. He didn’t look much at all, except maybe like a hot piece of ass. He looked away. “You know what I mean.”

“Now you’re just stringing words together in whatever order you want, Dave.”

“No, I just fucking- Do we really have to talk about that?” He wiped his hands on his jeans before putting them back in his pockets. “It was like, months ago, anyway.”

“You don’t think we should fucking talk about it?” Karkat didn’t snap, but from all the hours Dave had spent on Karkat’s couch watching him, his face looked like he was at the very least close to fucking annoyed.

“Yeah, I’d prefer not, actually.”

Karkat sighed. “Fine. We’ll do what you want.”

Then they walked in silence for a few minutes. Karkat didn’t live very far from the city centre, but far enough for it to get awkward. Dave opened his mouth in hopes that something good would come out of it: “Who is Kanaya?”

Karkat looked up at him suddenly. “What?”

Dave, not sure himself why he had asked the question, desperately tried to plan out a conversation. “Vriska said she ain’t your sister, so like, how’d you meet? You seem really close, I mean.”

“I mean we are,” Karkat mumbled before snapping upwards. “Wait, Dave, you seriously needed Vriska to tell you that? For fucking real?”

“Uh, I’m not gonna answer that.”

Karkat chuckled. The sound was pretty dry, but still it managed to warm Dave’s heart. “For a fucking stalker, you know jackshit about me, do you?”

It hadn’t been all too long since Vriska had pointed out the same thing to him, but still it stung. He looked off into the distance, but then back with a smile. It was almost perfect. “Touché.”

Karkat eyed him for a second, and Dave could feel the back off his neck grow hot and damp against the collar of his jacket. There was something serene about being out late with someone, just two people together, though the tense atmosphere that he kept creating definitely ruined the moment.

Karkat sighed again. “God, okay,” he began, “I’ve known Kanaya since forever. Since we were small, so it feels like forever. Her mum was my doctor as a kid.” He paused before holding up his hands as if defending himself. “I know, I know. Unprofessional, right?” he said, and laughed fondly. “But now she’s closer to a sister than anything.”

Dave nodded his head, listening attentively, sucking in every detail, but still having troubles keeping focused as Karkat smiled. If he hadn’t been such an idiot asshole, maybe that smile could have been for him. He dug his hands deeper down into his pockets. “You don’t have any siblings?” he asked. He just wanted the conversation to go on.

“Oh, I do,” Karkat answered. “Though to be honest, I was always much closer with Kanaya than with Kankri. I was even closer with Nepeta.”

_ Hold on a goddamn minute.  _ “Wait, you know Nepeta? She’s a childhood friend too?”

Karkat nodded his head. “I don’t think she remembers me. I haven’t met many new people since I was little. Some were neighbours, others from church. Some just random ass fucking people like Kanaya.”

“Shit, you a church guy?”

Karkat hummed yeah, and Dave almost fainted right then and there. “My dad’s a priest and all that shit, so I guess.”

“A good Catholic boy?”

Karkat glared at Dave, but the night couldn’t hide the slight blush that crept onto his cheeks. “Sure.”

“Woah, sorry, dude,” Dave said and held up his hands in front of him. “Not trynna step on any of your toes now.”

Karkat scrunched up his face as though he was trying to increase his level of glaring. Not that he was failing, but he also did look cute as all hell. “Don’t start playing the victim again. You’re terrible.”

Dave swallowed and wiped his hands on his pants again. “Shit, right. Sorry. Not gonna do that again.”

“As if,” Karkat scoffed and walked on.

The silence returned. Of  _ course _ it returned, he was making an ass of himself as usual. He looked up at the sky. Considering how every past interaction and conversation with Karkat had gone, he was happy with the evening. No matter what he said, Dave was certain Karkat had probably liked it more than he let on. As soon as he got some time alone, he’d have to call — or at least text — Dirk.

“So,” Dave began, “why are you so into the whole Esperanto deal, anyway?” He rubbed the back of his neck, and looked at Karkat. He was too late to tell if the silence had bothered him as well.

Karkat stopped. “What, you think it’s stupid? A  _ useless skill _ ?”

“No, I mean, yeah.”  _ Fuck. _ “No, wait.” He really had no idea what to say. “Can’t you just ramble about it like always but this time I’ll actually listen?”

Karkat sucked on his lip and squinted at Dave. “You never listened before.” In a way, it was a question. But they both already knew the answer. It turned into more of an accusation.

Seeing Karkat’s face, it didn’t take Dave more than a second to start fumbling to get his phone out of his pants. He lived all the way across town, Rose was surely still awake. John was definitely not.

“What are you doing?” Karkat asked, looking confused at Dave’s fumbling hands in the dark.

“I dunno, just calling someone to pick my lazy ass up. My feet hurt like hell.” He shot Karkat a nervous smile.

“Ah, fuck,” Karkat exhaled and patted down on his jeans pockets. “What the hell, dude. We’re fucking here already, just come inside.”

“Come inside?”

“You’re on thin fucking ice, Strider.”

 

The ceiling lamp was already filling the apartment with an electrical whirr when Dave stepped inside. Karkat had turned it on when he entered, and was now putting his keys in a basket on the counter.

“Remove your shoes,” he muttered mindlessly and turned to walk into the kitchen.

The apartment was made up of two rooms; one holding the entryway, the living room, and the kitchen, and the other room — Dave knew from the times when he’d been there before — was a small bedroom to the side.

From having been empty for the past couple of hours, the floor was draughty and the air was raw, and despite being rather cramped, the apartment felt empty and cold with the lights turned off.

Karkat jumped up onto one of the kitchen counters and waited for Dave to enter as well. He looked small, yet in no way vulnerable, sitting there, comfortable in his home. At the very least, he seemed to be ten times as comfortable as Dave was.

“Nice place,” Dave commented.

Karkat gave him a deadpan look. “You’ve been here a thousand times too many, Dave.”

“Oh, right.”

“Help yourself to whatever, just bring out some for me too,” Karkat ignored Dave and showed with his hand to the fridge.

A few minutes later they each had a bowl of yoghurt and müsli in their hands; Karkat still sitting on the countertop, Dave leaning his back against the fridge.

“Do you seriously eat this  _ without _ a gun to your head?” Dave asked and put his spoon back into the bowl.

Karkat shot him a glare, but then looked back down into his bowl. “You don’t have a gun to your head.” He took another mouthful. “Also, fuck you.”

Dave made some indistinguishable sounds and quickly filled his mouth with another spoonful. He forced himself to swallow. “Sorry.”

“You really keep fucking up, don’t you? Is it fucking genetic, or what?” Karkat said, not looking at Dave.

Dave shook the thoughts of Dirk off, and mumbled, “It keeps happening.” He shot Karkat an awkward,  lopsided smile. 

Karkat lifted an eyebrow, but the effect was slightly ruined by the dark curls concealing most of his forehead.

“Nevermind,” Dave said att took another spoonful, and then began to scrape the bowl. “You never answered anyway, before you took me up here.”

“Don’t phrase it like that.”

“Don’t want to sound like an old count tricking virgin doxies up to your loft with charms and gifts?”

“Please eat your yoghurt and leave.” Karkat sounded almost pleading.

Dave lowered his bowl and opened his mouth, aghast. After having spent the entire evening with Karkat, and now finding himself in a comfortable and familiar environment, he couldn’t help himself from letting his mouth run freely. “By God, Karkat! You can’t just take me in and throw me out on the street like a used toy!”

Karkat gave him a look. “No.”

Dave put his bowl aside and hopped up onto the counter opposite of Karkat, balancing on the edge of the sink. “Pretty please?”

Karkat stared at him cooly — and Dave prayed to God that he’d stop soon because he could feel his neck heating up again — but then let his eyes go and released a heavy sigh. “What was it you asked before you were dumb?”

“Oh. That,” Dave began, feeling a bit nervous, trying himself to remember what it was he’d asked before, and readjusted himself on the counter. “What’s your deal with Esperanto? Like, why do you even care?”

Karkat looked at him, as though trying to determine whether he was pulling his leg — Dave got the creeping suspicion that maybe he had asked the same question before, but as a joke or without listening to the answer — but then Karkat seemed to make up his mind, and answered:

“Well, I guess. I guess it was the idea that just seemed beautiful to me. Zamenhof created it for  _ the world _ , like a  _ gift _ , and to end anti-semitism and xenophobia. And I can’t really relate to that I guess, but it still got to me, you know?” Karkat made a pause and rubbed at the back of his head, seeming to weigh his words in front of Dave. “It’s always been a dream, that’s why people say it’s stupid. It’s so fucking  _ idealistic _ , but I don’t care, if I’m to be real. It’s a  _ fighter’s  _ language, a language about claiming your culture and your rights.

“Did you hear that he first created it for Jews to heal the damage the diaspora had made? Or maybe you didn’t listen. But it’s the truth anyway, and I think that’s pretty beautiful. It’s powerful.” He paused again before a thought seemed to hit him. “Did you know ‘Esperanto’ means ‘one who hopes’?”

Dave sat quiet for a moment, just looking at Karkat’s face, before responding:

“Really?”

“Yeah,  _ really _ .”

He looked at Karkat, trying to meet his eyes. “I guess that’s kinda nice.”

Karkat’s eyes snapped up and met his, but then his face softened. “Yeah,” he answered, “it’s nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what? This chapter has 860+ words pure dialogue. I hate writing dialogue. But I did it. Heck yeah.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and that people are still here! Thank you (especially to the commentors I haven't replied to yet)!


	17. Via Sola Amiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyway.... let's murder Dirk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: Your Only Friend
> 
> Oh boy! These updates are really spacing themselves out! Who allowed them to do that???  
> Anyway. Thanks for sticking around though! This fic is... it's happening. I'm making it happen. I just got really involved in this lesbian suburban mums au... aka the continuation of my rosemary student/teacher fic ayo. wink wink its good shit 2 new chapters will be up in like 2 days (also it isn't gross).

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **arsenicCatnip [AC]** **at 00:02 --**

 

**TG: come kitty kitty**

**TG: ay yo nep you up**

**TG: guess whos up**

**TG: lil dave**

**TG: no fuck thats not true at all**

**TG: but im totally scoring i tell you**

**TG: karks totally digging my new vibe**

**TG: hey**

**TG: *tg leaves his dignity at the door***

**TG: *tg nuzzles against ac to wake her up***

**TG: nepeta i really wanna talk**

 

* * *

 

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **tentacleTherapist [TT]** **at 00:54 --**

 

**TG: good evening miss**

**TG: youre awake arent you**

**TG: rose lalondes dont do no sleep**

**TG: okay**

**TG: from a solely freudian perspective what would it mean if your mind were to paint you a pretty picture of a noble banquet just fucking loaded with fancy ass boys serving eel on pretty silver plates**

**TG: the walls just plastered with dripping candles**

**TG: from a solely psychoanalytical perspective what would it mean if an orgy of swole dudes stuffed your mouth fucking shut with smoked and cooked and goddamn seared awl**

**TG: do you reckon it might be about sucking dick**

**TG: i reckon it is**

**TG: damn im just making shit up but why is everyone fucking asleep**

 

* * *

 

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 00:59 --**

 

**TG: yo vriskers**

**TG: i promised you a sizzling update didnt i**

**TG: mission tearing off karkats pants**

**TG: 60%**

**TG: thats more than half even i know that and im a film major**

**TG: vriska**

**TG: oh my god**

 

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **at 01:00 --**

 

 

* * *

 

 

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **arachnidsGrip [AG]** **at 01:17 --**

 

**TG: murder me**

 

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **arachnidsGrip [AG]** **at 01:17 --**

 

* * *

 

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **timaeusTestified [TT]** **at 02:31 --**

 

**TG: sup bro**

**TG: you awake or you wasting your life away just like everyone else**

**TT: No, I’m awake.**

**TT: How’s my favorite brother doing?**

**TG: oh you know how it is**

**TT: Pimping hoes?**

**TG: pimping hoes**

**TT: Where you at, anyway?**

**TG: karkats place**

**TT: Shit, you mean you really be pimping hoes? I can’t believe it, who stole my little bro’s chastity belt?**

**TG: on the *couch***

**TT: Ouch, stone cold.**

**TG: dirk why do we always do this**

**TT: Why do we always do what?**

**TG: you know i think maybe karkat isnt like your boytoy grindr hookups**

**TG: and im thinking maybe jake wasnt either**

**TG: and the more i adhere to your fucking hunter strategy well i dont think he becomes the horniest person in the world**

**TG: and when i say horny i mean happy and my friend**

**TG: fuck ignore that**

**TG: what im trying to say is i dont think your so called advice is working**

**TT: Dude, that’s so fucking low.**

**TT: You’re the one crawling to me for help here. Do you have any idea what time it is, anyway? Do you have any fucking idea how much energy I’ve been pouring into your goddamned sex life just because you’re pretty much fucking exactly 100% socially inept?**

**TT: You don’t bring Jake into this, Dave.**

**TT: You are coming over to the apartment tomorrow.**

**TG: since youre so fucking sex crazed shouldnt you be fucking happy that hes finally letting me in???**

**TT: Apartment. Tomorrow.**

**TG: dude no**

**TG: i really should study anyway**

**TT: Do I look like I care?**

**TT: You’re a fucking film major, Dave.**

**TT: I swear, I will block your number if you aren’t at my doorstep tomorrow before noon.**

**TG: fine**

**TT: Good.**

**TT: We’re brothers, we have to stick together.**

**TG: yeah youre right**

**TG: ill see you tomorrow**

**TG: thanks for talking**

**TT: You know it’s no problem, bro. You can always talk to me.**

  
**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **ceased pestering** **timaeusTestified [TT]** **at 03:12 --**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly! These boys have *issues*... Anyway, thanks for reading! And as always, kudos and comments always murder me and my whole ass (in the good way) so thanks for all that etc wink wink! neat. (neaturing)
> 
> See you in another month but hopefully a week!


	18. Kie Li Estas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat your.....anxiety is showing?  
> Thankfully, lesbians exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: Where Is He?
> 
> i present to you, based on a true story, an unbelievable tragedy:  
> >spend an entire month writing one (1) short pesterlog chapter after years of radio silence  
> >proceed to easily cash out a 3k+ chapter in 2 days no sweat  
> >profit
> 
> (note: i meant to post this like 3 hours ago but the electricity in the entire village fucked right off)

If there was one thing Karkat under no circumstances wanted to do, it was to roll out of bed. There was no way in hell he’d be able to deal with Dave today. For starters, he had a killer headache. Second, his deal-with-Strider’s-bullshit-o-metre was all emptied out. Null. Kaput. 

There simply was no way.

The sun rays that snuck in through his bedroom window’s blinds flirted with the possibility, persistently poking him in the eyes with their sharp light. He groaned.

Just a few minutes in self-made bliss, then he could kick Dave out.

He sat bolt-upright.

Dear  _ fuck  _ almighty, Dave was alone in his apartment. Roaming free in his kitchen while he was sleeping the goddamn day away.

_ Oh hell no. _

A few seconds later, Karkat stumbled out through his bedroom door, trying to put on socks while running—no way in hell was he going to let Dave lay comments about him showing skin or about his feet or whatever the fuck went through that freak’s mind this early in the morning—and failing quite miserably.

Sliding over the floor, he swung his body around the wall separating the living-room from the rest of the apartment, almost feverishly searching for his harasser before the above-mentioned lit his home on fire or pissed in a potted plant or something else incredibly stupid yet tragically aligned with his character.

What he found was almost even scarier than the doomsday scenarios he had cooked up in his mind. He couldn’t see Dave anywhere. Which frankly only left a couple of options up for consideration:

Dave had  _ really _ fucked something up, something not at first glance noticeable, and had fled the scene.

Dave had gotten kidnapped.

Dave had fucked something up, and this was the worst option, he was  _ still  _ hiding in the apartment.

About fifteen minutes later, and many, many openings and re-openings of cupboards and closets, reshuffling of couch cushions, and punching hung jackets later, Karkat found a note.

It had slipped down between two couch cushions, pressed inside the frame itself, and it was just barely that he could pull it out. And so, he read it:

 

_ ‘yo karks honey im leaving for the newspaper or to buy milk maybe pls explain to the kids _

_ anyway imma be gone for a couple a days so ill miss the meeting probablemente ya know how it is _

_ dudes be busy _

_ ps i ate the last ramen xoxo’ _

 

Karkat frowned down at the small, torn piece of paper. Dave usually came and went as he wished, granted that the door was unlocked or Karkat was inside or Dave made him be inside through excruciatingly painful badgering bitching. The point was that he’d never left a note before.

Still frowning, Karkat plopped down onto the naked, de-cushioned couch and read the note again. It was odd, was all.

Karkat proceeded to spend his morning preparing for himself a late, ramen-free breakfast. Maybe he’d have to thank Dave for that.  _ Oh, who was he trying to kid. _ But after his probably much healthier meal, when he went to throw away Dave’s note—which Karkat would be the last person to admit to have read several times during the morning—he, to no one’s surprise, found several torn paper pieces, all scrawled over with letters in his favourite red ink pen.

He guessed, if not for the ramen, he’d have to kill Dave for  _ something _ that day. Why not an expensive pen.

Another quarter of an hour later, Karkat looked down at what he’d accomplished during the hours he’d been awake on his free Saturday. Three notes from Dave, all of them odder than the one he had already read several times that day, lay pieced and taped together in front of him:

 

_ ‘dont look in the second cupboard from the left because everything is still there _

_ also im skipping town and by town i mean the apartment _

_ love you’ _

 

_ ‘hey friend in broship could you tell john ill be living with my aunt for a while _

_ oh shit also tell rose ill be staying with vriska to help her with her ya know things _

_ actually never mind im throwing away this shit fuck this’ _

 

_ ‘bro. _

_ apartment. now. _

_ bring rose.’ _

 

Karkat wasn’t entirely sure, but he thought that maybe the last one was some kind of really shitty attempt at an ironic haiku. Among all the ‘honey’s and ‘love you’s, Dave hinting that he’d send Karkat a floragram really just pissed him off. Or whatever it was Dave had been going on about in his apparently less than sane ruse, it wasn’t any better.

_ God, _ he needed another cup of coffee.

But as morning turned to noon, and noon turned to afternoon, Karkat found that he was getting increasingly worried. Why, yes, he could admit that he was worried, and on top of that, he was really getting emotional whiplash from the energy drainage from the day before, the nerves upon awakening, and now Dave really just fucking off the face of the Earth without a warning.

Karkat refused to call Dave’s cryptic, bad-handwriting notes ‘warnings’.

At one time or another during the day, he checked his messages, but quickly closed his phone again when he opened the message he’d gotten from Dave. Whatever it was Dave was up to, Karkat was having none of it. And that was that.

Yet, he failed at keeping up all distractions; studying, reading, designing posters for the coming Esperanto meetings. It all just threw his thoughts back to Dave.

“God, what are you  _ hiding _ ,” he muttered, and zoomed in once more on Dave’s profile picture with his fingers, just to lose the contact and having to zoom in again.

Dave had seemed so calm the day before, surprisingly so. He had even almost seemed  _ nice _ . Of course, there was none of that to be seen in his picture; it being a cropped version of a selfie he and Dirk had taken together, it seemed, as an anonymous hand squeezed Dave’s cheeks into an ugly, toothy, fish-like face, and the same person’s arm laid heavy across Dave’s shoulders. Together, they radiated clean, pure douchebag energy _. _

It wasn’t that Dave seemed like a completely different person when he was around his friends compared to when he was around Karkat, that would be too cliché. But it was difficult to see how it was the same Dave who had sat propped up together with him on the kitchen counter last night as the Dave who had yelled and publicly mocked him, a then stranger, in the cafeteria just a few months earlier.

Hours later, finding himself going back to glancing at Dave’s paper notes, even considering responding  _ something _ to his inappropriate text messages, Karkat decided that enough was enough. Whatever it was Dave had done to him, it had made him waste an entire day, just because of some dumb fucking paper pieces, so Karkat sighed, huffed, clenched his fists and furrowed his brow, and went to get dressed to leave for Kanaya’s place.

_ Fuck this shit. And fuck Dave in particular. _

 

Of course Rose would be at Kanaya’s place.  _ Perfect. Just perfect. _

At nearly 7 PM, Karkat rang the doorbell to Kanaya’s apartment, and none other than Rose fucking Lalonde, the somehow sister of Karkat’s person of interest, greeted him at the door.

“Oh, hello Karkat,” she said, but she didn’t smile. It wasn’t because she was annoyed or disliked him or anything like that—at least, that was what he hoped—but just that she wasn’t the type of person to show feelings she wasn’t explicitly feeling. To be fair, Dave wasn’t the best at expressing emotions either.

“Is- is Kanaya here?” Of course she was. It was her place, and despite everything that dating entailed, Rose  _ did _ have a home of her own.

“Oh, good evening,” Kanaya suddenly said, sauntering up behind Rose and putting a hand around her girlfriend’s waist. “Do you want to come in?”

“No, I’d much rather just get locked outside, please.”

Rose gave him a look. “Suit yourself,” but a small smile tore her face when Kanaya pinched her side.

“I will put on some tea,” Kanaya said, and disentangled herself from Rose’s body.

“I’d prefer coffee,” Karkat muttered, because frankly, with the state of his nerves, he couldn’t get enough of it.

But just after one look from Kanaya at his twitching hands and fleeting eyes, she smiled that calming smile at him that said that he was an idiot, but that he was  _ her  _ idiot. “I will put on some tea.”

After Kanaya had left for the kitchen, Karkat and Rose were left alone in the entryway, and even though Karkat almost considered Kanaya’s aromatic, decorated apartment as something close to a second home, he felt awkward helping himself to flop down on the couch when Rose was watching him.

Thankfully, she was the first to break the silence:

“So, what did you do to get rid of my brother? I’m not sure even olympic level parkour would be enough for him to lose your trail.”

For some reason, the question made Karkat feel weirdly flattered. Which just made him feel embarrassed for himself, and he had to use everything inside of him to not visibly cringe at his own thoughts.

To top it off, in the dazed denn of the apartment, he suddenly felt a strange paranoia that maybe Rose could read his mind. She was a bit of a goth after all, and Kanaya had always had an interest in strange artifacts and tomes. Not because of their value, but  just to fill her apartment with as much weird, exotic shit as humanly possible, if Karkat had to guess. Anyway, he didn’t really feel like telling Rose that he had been wound up all day because of her brother.

“He was gone when I woke up, and then made me spend all day puzzling all these fucking paper pieces together that he left as some kind of dumb backwards message.”

“You spent the night together?”

_ Fuck. _

Rose stretched, and her lipstick cracked in the corners when she grinned. “That doesn’t exactly sound like Dave, do you think?”

“I fucking know, okay. I know,” Karkat grumbled, not only to Rose, but to himself and just to the world in general. “He’s never done it  _ before _ , and he was just saying a load of bullshit about milk and apartments and roses and skipping town.”

With the frustration that returned when he poured out everything that had happened during the day, Karkat didn’t notice that Rose stood oddly still, and that she was uncharacteristically quiet. Neither did he notice Rose’s drifting eyes, shifting between him and where Kanaya was hidden behind the kitchen wall.

“Do you still have his message?” Rose asked in a low voice, and Karkat lifted his eyes, surprised at her tone. He was even more surprised at the fact that she had smudged her perfect lipstick by biting down on her bottom lip. He wasn’t suggesting that Kanaya was shallow, but she had never dated anyone who didn’t have flawless makeup and an impeccable sense of fashion.

“No, I mean, yes. It’s probably back at my apartment. Trash can, probably,” Karkat answered, uncertain. “Why?”

Rose didn’t answer right away, but instead—after staring uncertainly towards the kitchen for a few seconds—walked to sit down on the couch. “Karkat, let’s talk.”

Fuck, if those weren’t some of his  _ least _ favourite words, especially when strung together in that particular order.

Nevertheless, Karkat crawled up onto Kanaya’s way-oversized velvet divan—one of her many, many thrift shop finds—and Rose sat down soon after, though with much more grace than what he had.

She crossed her legs. “It’s been a while since I heard anything from Dirk,” she began, prodding, although Karkat wasn’t sure what for.

“God, don’t remind me of that asshole,” he groaned, but quickly followed up when he remembered that even though it didn’t seem like it, Dirk was Rose’s brother too. “No offence or nothing.”

Rose didn’t smile, which made Karkat a bit uncertain of his position. That should have been one of the few instances in which Rose brought forth her secretive smile. Maybe he was in trouble.

Instead, she sank down a bit into the couch. “None taken,” but Karkat still wasn’t so sure. She was quiet for a second. “What did the notes say more exactly?”

But Karkat never got the chance to answer, because then Kanaya entered the room, carrying a wooden tray with a matching set of wooden bowls and cups. It was all very extra and  _ exotic _ .

“What are you two talking about?” Kanaya asked, as she placed the tray on the small table in front of the sofa.

Rose wrapped an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders as she sat down and smoothed out her skirt. “It seems like Dave has found a new hobby in ciphers,” she said.

“He’s had one before?” Karkat asked, stunned, but quickly blushed when he realised that he was an idiot. That was just how these two girls spoke. He buried his face into his hot tea cup, and it really was  _ hot _ . His tongue was going to take  _ days  _ to heal.

“Oh?” Kanaya asked, helpfully ignoring Karkat, and turned her head at a visibly uncomfortable angle to be able to look into Rose’s face.

“Yes, I was wondering the same thing. Karkat? What did the note say, again?”

Karkat, as a feint to give the appearance of a person who hadn’t read a stupid, scrawled-out paper piece and memorised it through the course of a day, pretended to try to remember what Dave had written on his note. He furrowed his brow.

“Hm, I think something like- Fuck, I don’t remember… He told me to tell you that he was staying with Vriska, and to tell John that he was staying with your aunt,” Karkat drawled out, but stopped when he realised he wasn’t sure what Dave and Rose’s family constellation looked like. When no one tried to stop him, he continued: “I don’t really see why he’d want  _ me  _ do that, it’s not like I know any of them super well. Or I mean you.”  _ Fuck. _ “That’s probably why he threw that note away.”

“That’s all?” Rose asked.

Okay, was it the International ‘Act Weird as All Fuck’ Day today, and why had no one sent him the memo?

“No, the last note was like super short and fucking weird, so I didn’t really care much about it.” That was a lie. He had tried  _ incredibly _ hard to figure out what Dave’s sucky haiku meant, but had, after a while, decided that it wasn’t worth the frustration. “It said: ‘Bro. Apartment. Now. Bring rose’”

“Bring me?”

_ Oh my god. _ Of course that was what that asshole had meant… Floragram, his self-centred ass!

“I guess, yeah,” he said, trying to cover up his idiocy. 

Rose put down her cup of tea, but her posture didn’t hold the same grace as before. Karkat had his suspicions anyway that she, like her brother, had built a pretty solid ‘cool kid’ front, just in a very different way.

Rose threw Kanaya a glance, and then looked back to Karkat. He realised that the atmosphere had gotten steadily colder. “Karkat,” she began. “Has Dave ever talked to you about Dirk?”

The way Rose said the question, it made Karkat feel a bit uneasy. He searched his mind to try to extract any special memory that might have had any importance among all Dave’s constant rambling. “No, not really. He showed some video of him and Dirk skating once…” he paused. “They aren’t very good.”

Rose smiled briefly. “No, they’re not.”

The room was still for a moment, the only sound being the quiet slurping from Kanaya’s tea and the lamps whirring.

“I used to live with them, before,” Rose suddenly said, and even though it wasn’t very sensational, the words fell out of her mouth as though they had been a confession. Karkat paid close attention to her before she continued. “Even before they died, our parents weren’t very prese-”

“ _ Died? _ ” Karkat couldn’t stop the question before it was echoing in the room.  _ Dammit. Idiot. _

Rose looked at him, but didn’t look upset or hurt. Kanaya took her hand. “Yes. Dave and I were thirteen when they passed, and thusly, Dirk was nineteen. I’m not sure who organised the testament and everything that happened after, but Dirk definitely wasn’t equipped to care for two teenagers all by himself. But I think he did his best.

“I would probably have kept living with them if Dirk had been even a fraction better of a guardian for Dave and me, as our aunt, Roxy, wouldn’t ever had needed to step in if that had been the case. But he wasn’t. Not even two years passed before Aunt Roxy brought me to her house, just out of town, to stay with her, but she couldn’t convince Dirk to let Dave come with.”

Karkat was stunned. “Couldn’t all of you have moved in with your aunt?”

Rose sadly shook her head. “No, Dirk would never admit to be in need of help. He was ‘oh, too proud’, and he  _ was  _ legally an adult. But I don’t think he could bear the thought to be all alone in our parents’ old apartment. So, Dave had to stay.”

They sat quiet for a moment; Rose was probably waiting for Karkat to ask questions, what happened next? did you keep in touch? why do you know each other now? but he could only think of one: “Why are you telling me this now?”

Rose sighed and picked up her teacup from the table again. “I think Dave is with Dirk, at our old apartment.” She took a sip, and smiled at Kanaya. “It’s rose. I like it.”

Karkat needed a moment to process what Rose had just told him, what it all meant. Dave was an orphan, and he had spent eighteen years with Dirk as probably his only role model, a guy who Karkat had honestly nothing nice to say about, and for four of those years, he’d been living all alone with him.

So who was Dirk, anyway? The first time Karkat had met him had been in the campus cafeteria, whispering and laughing together with Dave and his friends at making Karkat feel stupid and lesser. Then, the second time they had met, at Vriska’s birthday party at Dave and John’s, he’d shown another side. Loud, big, taking up space and sucking the air out of the room, making sure that everyone in the room knew who he was and what he was doing. Now, in hindsight, knowing that Dirk had done something that had made it necessary to remove his younger sister from him, the physical force he had used when interacting with Dave, it made Karkat feel uneasy. He couldn’t understand who Dirk was, but maybe that was just the thing. He was assertive, histrionic, violent, and most importantly, unpredictable.

“Is it a problem?” he asked, interrupting Rose and Kanaya’s enamoured eye contact. “That he’s at Dirk’s apartment? I mean, he  _ used  _ to live there.”

Rose looked to him. “The mere fact wouldn’t be. But he wanted you to lie to me about it for him.”

Karkat stared at her, but she didn’t say anything. He had come over to Kanaya’s apartment for comfort for his, in contrast, silly and stupid nerves and confusion, but he would leave it with a much worse feeling following him in the depths of his stomach.

Before answering, Rose pulled her feet up onto the couch, and shimmied closer to Kanaya. “Dave has never been hospitalised after staying with Dirk, but he probably won’t want to see you before his bruises have faded.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea so ive spent the past month writing rosemary angst...
> 
> keeping two stories with the same characters apart is surprisingly hard??? what do you mean bro isn't dave's dad what do you mean roxy isnt rose's main point of angst and also mother what do you mean they arent all middle aged what do y
> 
> ayyy thanks for reading btw very nice! this..this could turn out swell


	19. Du Potencoj

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahem. I call this one: "Dave Really Needs One of Those Freaky *Safe* Car Helmets to Survive This Kind of Emotional Whiplash".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title meaning: Two Powers
> 
> *taps microphone* ...Augustine for president.  
> Yeet.

“These are uh, nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” Dave trailed off. He didn’t want to ask but- “How d’you pay for ‘em?”

“Hang on,” Dirk mumbled with his eyes fixed on the screen as the little Tony Hawk avatar did some kind of double flip combo in the air, landing a good foot inside a bench.

Dirk pounded a victorious fist in the air, cheering himself on before smacking Dave celebratory on the shoulder. His punch somehow missed all of Dave’s sore spots from the morning, and it wasn’t very difficult to keep himself from wincing from the hit.

“You’re still so fucking bad at this game, dude.”

“Whatever do you mean, bro. I’m fucking boss,” Dirk responded and sank back into his leather beanbag, his arms crossed behind his head.

“Boss ass  _ bitch  _ maybe,” Dave mumbled as Dirk threw him the game controller.

“Damn straight.”

They sat in silence as Dave completed the next level, somehow getting an even lower score than his brother. When he had pressed a rather complex button smash that he’d read about on a forum, the tiny Hawk was standing proudly teabagging a dog continually. Dave zoned out to the hypnotic movements of the tiny man’s hips.

“What’d you say?” Dirk asked after a couple of moments.

“What?” Dave said, transfixed by Tony Hawk’s clapping asscheeks.

“You asked how I paid for these plush bags.”

“Right,” Dave replied and threw the controller down onto the floor, letting Hawk live the best dog-humping life he possibly could. “How d’you pay for the beanbags? It’s real leather, isn’t it.”

Dirk flashed him the slightest smirk, and no one but Dave would have been able to recognise it as such. He puffed up his chest and then exhaled contently, adjusting his ass in the beanbag so that his body took up as much space in the room as humanly possible. “Augustine.”

“Augustine.”

“Augustine.”

Then Dirk didn’t say anything more, but Dave could almost feel the heat radiating from his brother sitting next to him, screaming  _ ‘ask me more! let me speak more! see me!’ _

Dave rolled his eyes.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?” Dirk interrupted, and sat up straighter in his bag to look at Dave. His face was suddenly much sterner.

“No,” Dave hurried to say.  _ Fuck. _ He felt the back of his neck grow damp and cold.

Faster than Dave could register, Dirk had grabbed his wrist and was pressing his bony fingers into his skin, hard. “You sure?” he asked.

Dave blinked away the tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. “Yeah,” he winced with an embarrassingly high voice.

At his words, Dirk released his arm and shot him an apologetic smile. “Good.” He turned back to the screen and tensely laced his fingers together, sitting straight up like a strained spring. “I thought we were havin’ a good time.”

“We are,” Dave assured quickly, and then continued to try to make Dirk forget about his misstep by turning the attention back to his brother. “Who’s Augustine?”

And so, Dirk’s contented smirk returned to his lips, quirking his mouth just barely. “Just some guy.”

“Just some guy that, what? Threw a couple hundred dollars at you?”

Dirk’s smirk grew even smugger. “More like thousands,” he said and tried to make it look like he wasn’t purposely glancing to the new training equipment that Dave hadn’t been sure whether it had been there or not the last time he was at the apartment.

_ Come on. _ Did he want to get into a discussion about his brother having a, what? A sugar daddy? To be honest, he didn’t even want to think about it.

“‘Augustine’ sounds like a fake name,” he said instead.

“It is,” Dirk responded flatly.

_ So you’re a prostitute now. Okay. That’s fine. Totally fine, totally something I needed to know. Whatever. _

“What was that?”

Dave froze. “What?”

“You were mumbling, Dave.” Dirk’s nose wings were flaring.

Dave’s eyes fell to the floor and he quickly hurried to reach down and grab the controller from the floor, to blame his silence on being submerged in deep gamer thought. That should be a good enough excuse for Dirk. Just to be safe, Dave asked: “So, is ‘Augustine’ cool, or?”

“Yeah, he’s okay,” Dirk shrugged. “He’s still sleeping in bed.”

Dave’s brain nulled out.  _ He’s still _ here _? _ “He’s still  _ here _ ?”

“ _ Some people _ can keep their men around, Dave,” Dirk said, a jibing tone in his voice. Which to Dave seemed to be ironic on such a high level that he wasn’t even sure Dirk was aware of it, since for as long as he could remember, Dirk had never ‘kept a man around’ for longer than a month. Not counting Jake, that was.

Dave opted to not respond.

And so, they spent about an hour more of their time sitting side by side in the leather beanbags that Dirk’s fine ass had paid for, taking turns fucking up the game as much as they possibly could. Dave  _ definitely _ preferred his brother when he was in a good mood, but the happy, joking punches that Dirk handed out every time he beat Dave in a race or trick combo hurt Dave’s sensitive skin more and more each time.

Dave tried painfully hard to ignore the sounds of someone shuffling around behind Dirk’s bedroom door, and when he once got back from going to the bathroom, he could have sworn he saw a naked ankle disappear into the kitchen. As mentioned, he tried not to think about it.

Then, after that one hour, or maybe a little more, the dreaded question finally came:

“So, how’s it going with that Vantas kid?” Dirk asked, so casually that Dave barely even registered the words.

“What do you mean,” Dave said. He didn’t exactly ask, because frankly, he didn’t actually want Dirk to elaborate.

“You know what I mean,” Dirk said before being quiet for a hot second, then continuing: “You know what I think?” He waited for Dave to guess, but as no answer came, he pretended he hadn’t made a pause at all. “I think it’s high fucking time you lay off that dude. He ain’t seeming to be spreading no legs or handing out no sugar, bro. If you know what I mean.”

For each word that fell out of Dirk’s mouth, Dave felt himself fall deeper and deeper into his own stomach. Some cold, wet pit in the darkest part of his intestines. He didn’t want to talk about this at all, but he knew that Dirk wouldn’t let it go before they had come to some sort of agreement. An agreement that Dirk would lay out and then veto.

“So what are you saying,” Dave drawled, torn between keeping up the conversation and upsetting his brother.

“I’m saying he’s a fucking pussy, Dave.” Dirk raised an eyebrow in consideration. “Or possibly a pussy fucker.”

“Dude, I promise Karkat ain’t straight,” Dave blurted out. He didn’t really know why he said it, but it felt like he had to defend himself—or Karkat—in some way.

“Didn’t say he was. Just saying he’s acting like a Catholic fucking nun.”

Dave decided to not mention that Karkat actually  _ was _ Catholic, and instead turned to face Dirk fully head on. His eyebrows knitted down in anger, but he tried his hardest to relax his face to not look emotional. He knew that that would only lead to an immediate dismissal of anything he had to say from Dirk’s side.

“Why are you always- I don’t know, why are you  _ sexualising _ my friends, bro?” he blurted out, and in the moment, he didn’t even have time to creep back down into the deep pit in his stomach. He was angry, but Dirk had said so much to him just during the last minute, so he wasn’t sure what—or who—was to blame.

Dirk’s eyes darkened, but then he rolled them to look away from Dave. “ _ Friends _ ?” he huffed. “Sure, bro,  _ sure _ .”

“I have friends.”

Dirk threw his head back in a short, dry, clearly faked laugh. Then he quickly turned to Dave, once again grasping at his little brother’s wrist, twisting his skin slightly, painfully. “Think for once, Dave. Has anyone ever actually been there for you? Except me? John’s run off with his little girlfriend, Roxy doesn’t speak with you, Rose is off screwing that-” but he didn’t get any further, because Dave tugged his hand away.

His phone was vibrating in his pocket. Someone was calling him.

He looked down at his phone.

“It’s Karkat,” he said, and hurried to stand, failed, and then tried again to this time succeed. He straightened his back, threw Dirk a nervous glance—who only stared at him in stunted, yet fuming, disbelief—and then booked it for the door.

“If you don’t nail that piece of flesh soon I’ll have to do it myself, Dave! You can never do anything right anyway! Fucking never!” Dirk called after Dave a few seconds later as he left him sitting alone next to a crumpled beanbag.

Dave purposely covered the phone’s microphone until he’d gotten out of the living room, and then sat down in the dim apartment entryway, crouching down in his favourite hiding spot behind a shelf from when he was a kid. His calves were stiff from the morning’s strife, and they ached as he squatted.

He tried to speak, but his throat felt swollen and thick, so he cleared it before trying again. “Y-yes?” he croaked out.

_ “Fucking  _ finally _! You absolute goddamn  _ idiot  _ piece of  _ shit _!” _ Karkat’s voice emitted from the phone, and Dave realised that he’d somehow already turned down the volume without realising. It wasn’t that he had actually called much with Karkat before, but he had once answered Kanaya’s phone over at Rose’s house, and to have a device at full volume pressed against his ear when Karkat was on the other end, well, it wasn’t something he really wanted to relive.

He listened to Karkat’s heavy breathing for a couple of seconds, as his mind came up completely blank of anything to say.

_ “Where are you?” _ at last came from the phone that he held pressed to his ear, crouching and leaning his arm on his knee.

“What about where I am?” Dave replied, a little put off by a certain  _ bite _ in Karkat’s voice. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he was sure that it had never been there before. Or maybe Karkat just sounded different over the phone.

_ “Yeah, that’s exactly what I fucking said. Where  _ are  _ you? I woke up and spent five fucking hours scavenging my apartment for fucking Strider ass.” _

Dave felt a need to comment on Karkat’s more than astoundingly inappropriate phrasing, but honestly he couldn’t be bothered. “Oh.  _ That _ ,” he said instead.

He thought about it. He was just at his brother’s apartment, but for some reason he felt like he shouldn’t tell Karkat that. He shot a glance over his shoulder into the living room, where Dirk immediately locked eyes with him, one eyebrow raised quizzingly, and he lifted the game controller in the air and waved it to urge Dave to hang up the phone already.

“Why d’you want to know?” Dave asked Karkat hesitatingly.

An insulted huff (that Dave knew all too well) came from Karkat’s side of the line. During the few silent seconds that followed, Dave could almost see Karkat’s fingers massage his brow in frustration.  _ “Because I’m coming to get you, dumbass.” _

Dave startled. That wasn’t something he’d expected to come from Karkat. Karkat was usually trying to get as far away from him as possible, through any means necessary, and even though Dave really didn’t want to think about it, he was pretty sure Karkat wasn’t insincere whenever he said how much he disliked Dave’s guts.

Being deep in thought, he didn’t realise that he had left Karkat hanging in silence for nearly half a minute.

_ “I don’t think you should be seeing your brother, Dave,” _ Karkat finally added to break the silence. He sounded so absolute, definite in a way that Dave wasn’t used to hearing from anyone but from Dirk. It made him feel uneasy.

His guard was raised immediately. “You don’t decide who I hang out with. We’re not dating.”

Karkat made some kind of quiet sound, possibly surprised, or maybe, rather, shocked. Dave heard Karkat take a deep breath before he responded:  _ “Even if we were,” _ he hissed angrily, _ “I shouldn’t be able to decide who you hang out with, Dave! That’s the whole fucking point! Have you ever experienced a normal fucking relationship that wasn’t taking a fucking sun vacation to  _ ‘Toxicity-fucking-Island’ _?”  _ He nearly shouted the last part, and Dave instinctively wiped his phone clean of spit that of course wasn’t there, nearly cancelling the call as he did.

Honestly, Karkat’s words scared him. They awoke something inside his mind that he definitely wasn’t ready to acknowledge or even think about just yet. So instead, he retreated.

“I’m hanging up, dude.”

_ “The hell you are! Don’t you dare!” _

Dave threw an uncertain glance to Dirk where he was sitting two rooms away, with his glance asking for assistance in something Dirk couldn’t possibly help him with.

But that had never stopped Dirk Strider. “Just hang up on that fucking bitch-ass, bro!” Dave’s brother shouted, keeping his voice down, but Dave was pretty much certain that Karkat could hear him through the phone. “He seems so fucking lame, some Gossip-Girl-fucking-jealous-girlfriend bullshit. I can’t believe you wanna tap that psycho chick-dude, man. Hang up and get your ass over here!” He pointed promptly to the crumpled beanbag next to him.

_ “Dave, listen to me-” _ Karkat’s voice crackled through the phone, and Dave felt embarrassed for what Dirk had just said about him. He turned around and hid again facing the wall, shielding the phone with his hand, and whispered back:

“What?”

_ “I-”  _ The line was quiet for a second, then:  _ “Do you want to go on a date?” _ Karkat’s voice blurted out the words, and it sounded a little higher than before, rushed.

That was certainly one way to make Dave’s brain flatline.

“Yes.”  _ What. _

Karkat hurried to continue, and Dave felt his face grow hotter every second, his body catching up with his brain. Panic. His face felt completely detached from his head.

_ “I’ll pick you up, we’ll go out to eat. Somewhere nice. Tell me where you are and I’ll pick you up in thirty.”  _ Karkat’s voice hurried over the words, seeming to string them together at random as he went. But Dave honestly didn’t have enough brain capacity available as of currently to notice.

“I’m at my Bro’s place. Dirk’s place,” Dave answered without really thinking too much about it, and then gave Karkat the address, feeling as though his mouth was moving on its own.  _ A date. _

_“Good. Great. Thank you, Dave.”_ _Dave._ The line was quiet, and Dave could hear his strangled breaths echo back at him. Then Karkat added: _“You should go outside right away. Just so I don’t miss the place, I mean.”_

Dave heard his mouth respond again, hollow: “That makes sense.”

_ “Yes, okay. See you soon, Dave.” _

“Yeah, see you-” and Dave had barely finished the sentence before the line clicked and Karkat hung up on him. He stared at the phone, and rose to his feet slowly.

“What?” Dirk called from the living room.

“I gotta go,” Dave said, and avoided Dirk’s eyes on purpose, refusing to turn around.

“Fuck no. Get back here.”

“No, really, bro,” Dave said absentmindedly, and ignored the shuffling coming from the living room as Dirk undoubtedly wrestled his way out of a beanbag, his pulse pounding in his ears, “I really gotta go.” He then grabbed his jacket, and he ran, not looking back to see how close Dirk was behind him.

And then Dave was out the door.


End file.
